How Big Am I?

"Honey, do you know how I can tell my belly is really, really big?"

"Because you can't get into the bathroom closet anymore?"

"Nope, that's not it."

"Because you can't wear my large pajamas and you can only wear my XL pajamas if the drawstring is not tied?"

"Nope, that's not it."

"Becuase of the gravitaional pull, there are small objects orbiting your belly?"

"Nope, that's not it!"

"Because there are tides in Conor's bath water when you walk by?"

"Nope, that's not it!!"

"Then how can you tell that your belly is really, really big?"

"Because I feel like this picture makes my butt and thighs look thin.  The enormous proportion of my belly is throwing off my body image!"

A Clean House

Last year, after some raise or another, we decided to splurge on getting a housekeeper to come to our house twice a month. (I'm pretty sure that blew the entire raise and then some, but the joy of a clean house makes it worth it)  We have some  friends who have objected to hiring someone to clean the house because of its bourgeois implications and the possibility of taking advantage of others.  One might note, this same couple recently hired our housekeeper. 

In any case, last night we arrived home late and entered the back door rejoicing in the smell of pine sol as well as a variety of other clean smells.  I realized at that moment how unusual those smells in our house and felt a mixture of compuction and sloth.  We love Sue.  We love what she does to our house.  And we love how every two weeks, our house is clean and beautiful.

Of course, the night and morning before her visit, we clean our house the most.  It's a frenzy of laundry folding, toy storage, and magazine stack recycling.  Dave has noted that we really don't need a cleaner as much as the threat of a cleaner coming the next day to make us actually clean our own house.  

But then we'd miss the clean smell. And that would make me unhappy.  

And last night was ironic as I walked around loving my house and realizing that we had just had our last meeting with the architects on the remodel.  I think we've worked out most of the details and are working on a schedule to start construction Feb 28.  (YIKES)  We may be renting the house directly behind ours for the duration of the remodel, a stroke of luck after the poopie head, dog hating renters will be moving out mid-February.  The joy of their 10 surrounding dog owning neighbors was assumed after a collective cheer followed by hip shaking, tongue sticking out dancing was observed.    Na-na-na-na-boo-boo was also heard.  

The babies are also doing really well.  We had our latest OB appointment on Monday, in which I attended the OB Clinic.  I thought it was sort of a Welcome to Our OB Practice, until I found out it was a special event for high risk patients (twins, auto-immune, old hag).  Pick just one and I qualify.  Baby A's heartrate was 164 and Baby B was 168.  They are perfect.  

I, on the other hand, am huge.  I'm starting swimming again this weekend, once I find a ginormous speedo (not an oxymoron).  I will feel better about my arms if they a little more muscle and a little less flab in them.  Ditto for my fat back.  Swimming will also help my core, so I'm hoping to start swimming 3 or so days a week.  I'm not going to get any smaller; I might as well get a bit more muscular.  Of course, will anyone be able to see muscles under the layers of fat?  Good question. Don't ask it to my face.  

So, in conclusion, our house is clean, we're really going to add on to it, the babies are fine, and I'm enormous.  (Double chins have been spotted.  Easily.  Although considering that my face sort of fades into my neck without the assistance of a jaw, it's not that hard for me to get a double chin) 

You are now up to date on the mother thing household.   

Looking Swell

We had our first trimester screen on Wednesday, and, as the doctor says, everything looks perfectly normal.  Both babies were jumping around, measuring right on time, and had fantastic heartbeats.  Their nuchal folds were well within normal, indicating a low likelihood of a chromosomal problem.  We are obviously thrilled.

Even better, I finally got to talk to a doctor who has some serious knowledge about my auto-immune treatment.  He was able to cite research and has done the most to convince me that after the first trimester, now that the pregnancy is well established, I no longer have to inject myself with Lovenox.  I do not have an identified thrombophilia problem (blood clotting issue).  And although no one has yet to disagree that my eczema from the last pregnancy was a sign of an auto-immune problem, Lovenox is not going to affect that--the prednisone did.  He did say I could continue on with the Lovenox injections for the rest of the pregnancy if I wanted, but he did not think it was necessary.  

In any case, I am seriously considering stopping the Lovenox.  

And tonight is our last progesterone in oil shot and my last dose of estrogen tablets.  I am so psyched!!!  My husband will no longer be a literal pain in the butt!!

I am also pretty sure that I've already felt both babies move.  I am twelve weeks along, folks.  Women who have already had children seem to quickly forget how incredibly early that is to feel something.  (indeed, I just felt a little butterfly squiggle when I wrote that)  I didn't feel Conor until February of our pregnancy, at about 17 or 18 weeks.  I'm a full 6 weeks earlier with these babies.  And my belly is HUGE.  And it's just going to get bigger!  

It just feels crazy.  Twins are crazy.  And we're crazy about them already.

Fat and Tired

We're just arrived back from Rockford, IL to celebrate Dave's parent's 50th wedding anniversary.  It was a lot of fun and Conor nearly levitated with happiness to spend time with his 11 cousins (one cousin, his godmother, could not make it as she is currently deployed chasing pirates off the coast of Africa).  Honestly, Conor *loves* being around his cousins.  He always shows off their pictures to all our guests including  repairmen and, actually, my mother-in-law. They all kindly remark on how wonderful his cousins are.  

In other news, things are going well pregnancy-wise.  I am about 1/2 lb behind schedule on the weight gain, but considering that next week, we're going on a cruise to celebrate *my* parent's 50th wedding anniversary, I have no doubt that I'll be able to make up that 1/2 lb and the 2 additional ones I'm supposed to gain.  

The good news is that the nausea is almost completely gone.  The bad news is that the fatigue has increased exponentially.  Being the wonderful daughter/sister-in-law that I am, I spent pretty much all of the time on this trip either eating or napping.  BP (before pregnancy), a 2 1/2 hour nap meant a late bedtime.  Now it means I can stay up until 9:30.  I am so glad I am not teaching at this exact moment because I'm pretty sure I could slip into a coma during a pause in the class discussion.  

And my belly.  Folks, this is a picture of me at 11 weeks pregnant.  

Eleven weeks pregnant!  I'm huge!  And it's not my uterus.  That's still pretty low.  It's my guts getting moved all around from my growing belly at the bottom.  Besides the fact that this is my 5th pregnancy, so things have moved around before, the twins and the surgery have made things change a lot quicker.  Plus, I guess, those 10 lbs didn't just go straight to my massive, flabby upper arms.  

Ok, enough about me.  The next post is going to be about Conor and Christmas.  I have a picture of Conor just before he jumped up and down seeing presents from Santa Claus.  

Now I have to decide if I can take a nap, whether to work my syllabus for next semester, or take a shower.  All 3 have to happen today, but I'm not sure in which order.  

The Remodel

We've known since we moved into this house that we were going to need to remodel it at some point.  And although we've put a bathroom here, a home office there, we had decided to put off a full remodel.  Until now.  

We've been meeting with an architect for the last 5 months or so.  We had actually decided on a nice plan until the architect asked us where Conor was going to sleep once the twins were born.  (One  might note this was in the last 5 minutes of our 1 1/2 hour conversation)  We looked at each other and couldn't really figure out how three children would fit into our house.  We could see how we could cobble together a nursery for the twins, but actual bedrooms?  Not so obvious.  

So our architect went back to the drawing board and made a few more adjustments that 1) add another bedroom and bath and 2) will let us phase in the construction.  What that means is that they will frame it out and officially call it storage space and then Dave will take the next year to add the drywall and flooring and tile/toilet/shower to finish it up.  This will save us a boatload of money but allow us to actually have a big enough house.  

What is pretty funny is that it's not really going to be a BIG house.  But for us, it will seem enormous.  We think this is a good thing because it will still capture the spirit of our 1940's working class house but will let us feel a bit more spacious and modern.

So what are we doing?  We're taking over the back deck and making it a "real" room.  It will extend our family room and also give us a (grown up!) laundry and mud room!  The stairs to the second floor will also be there.  

On the second floor, we'll have a loft/landing area which we think could serve as an upstairs family room or make shift guest accommodations.  We'll also have a smallish bedroom (all of our bedrooms are small to smallish) with a closet and a bath.  Then we'll have the master suite, which will be huge to us and moderate to most suburban houses, with a gas fireplace and a sun room.  We'll also have a walk-in closet (quite unlike any other closet in the house...of which there are only two very small closets in our house), and the master bath.  Because of our old neighborhood, we're going to have several dormer windows and bay windows and most exciting of all, the 7 foot bathtub will be housed in a bay window off the bathroom.  (((sigh)))  I will be sure to wave to the neighbors when I take my baths.  (Window treatments are going to be important there!)

Of course, what that also means is that we're going to have to move out of the house for a few months while they "pop the top."  Perhaps we could stay in our home, but with all the lead paint and asbestos likely to be floating around, we think the best option for Conor and me would to be out.  Perhaps Dave can stay and breathe all the bad air while Conor and I are in a hotel.  :-)

Best of all, we currently believe that because of the economy, the remodel will cost about 20-30% less this year than if we had done it last year.  And with the current mortgage rates (and that we absolutely cannot and will not go near the amount for  a jumbo loan), when we refinance everything at the end, we may not actually be paying any more per month than we are paying now.  

So there.  We're doing quite a bit over the next couple of months.  I'll be growing a few new babies and we'll be growing a new house.  It should make for very interesting blogging times.  

And, of course, speaking of the babies, I am now 10 weeks along, and I am totally showing.  I honestly feel like I am getting bigger by the hour.  I can't believe that I'm already showing this early along.  

Time to finish grading my finals.  Yippee!

Waist Not, Rock Not

The pebble in Conor's ear was not too big of a deal.  He was very upset that he had done something wrong.  And quite scared when the doctor had to pull it out.  He said it hurt coming out, but I'm sure it was more of the loud sound of it moving around in his ear that was more frightening.  

There was a moment when the doc was having problems that she intimated that we might have to take it up a notch with a more specialized doctor if she couldn't get it out.  (Do pediatric ENTs specialize in rock removal?!)  Fortunately, she got it out, we put it in a specimen bottle, and she marked to visit with the code "Foreign Object Removal Ear."  I find that amusing.  It's obviously not even close to being a rare event in the pediatrician's office.  

As far as what once was my waist, at 9 1/2 weeks pregnant I am fully in maternity clothes.  I had lost about 10 lbs over the summer and so I was thinking that I could wear my fat clothes in the early pregnancy.  However, they are falling right off of me when I put them on.  (Even colleagues note that "Dude, those pants are way too big.") And I can't wear my regular clothes because I cannot button the tops of my pants.  

And I know that even though there are two in there, my uterus is still not big enough for me to be "showing."  What's up?

Apparently, my uterus, although still small and not visible, is pushing my internal organs around.  Thus, my waist is much bigger than it normally is at this weight.  Even worse, I think it's obvious that, because of this spring's surgery, my belly button is the weak part of my stomach.  Indeed, my belly button has almost already popped.  9 1/2 weeks!  And my belly button has almost popped!  Ugh.  I'm just not envisioning my belly to be the prettiest thing ever seen, what with the enormous scars from the surgery making a smiley face around my belly button and the black and blue track marks from the Lovenox. It causes my dear loving husband to shudder sometimes.  Anyone want to venture a guess on what the heck my scars are going to do as my belly expands with two babies?  I'm voting Not Pretty, whatever it turns out to be.  

Oddly, I look much thinner in the maternity clothes than I do in my regular clothes, so I'm psyched about that.  (Buttons not straining to reach and all that, I suppose)  So I guess there is a silver lining here anyway.  And Conor's rock is out of his ear. That could have ended up being a much worse story than it did.  Thank goodness.

Food and Fatigue

I've been trying to strictly follow the Dr. Luke Diet, but after gaining over 4 lbs in one week, I figured I could probably cut back a little bit.  It occurs to me that she may have written that diet for twenty-somethings and not for women, ahem, over 35.  My metabolism is not the same as it was in my 20's and since I'm still not allowed to exercise, I'm not really burning off that many calories.  So I'm going to try to keep the protein and dairy consumption up a high level, but I am not going to make myself sick trying to get to 3500 calories a day.

What's become more of a problem is the fatigue.  I am absolutely pooped a great deal of the time.  I took a 10 minute nap yesterday when I got home so I could cook dinner.  And then I was in bed by 9:00.  Ironically, Conor was still up by 9:00.  He's been going to sleep later (not to bed later, but to sleep later) and I've been going to bed earlier.  There has been overlap in our bedtimes and I'm just too tired to argue when he asks to come in bed with me.  Also, it's fun to read our magazines together and then go to sleep.  If Dave comes to bed late enough, he can take Conor in for his late night pee-pee and then put him back in his own bed.  It's a win-win for everyone.  

I'm hoping that I'm at the peak of both the fatigue and nausea part of my pregnancy.  I've forgotten what it's like to not feel gross around food.  Or what it's like to not want to take a nap every few hours of the day.  

A few more weeks.  I'll be glad to be back to normal.  Well, normal while pregnant with twins.

Still Looking Good

The ultrasound went really well yesterday. The subchorionic hemorrhage is gone (hooray!) and the babies had a bit of a growth spurt since Monday. I was 8w1d yesterday and Baby A measured at 8w0d and Baby B (the bruiser) measured at 8w3d. Heartrates were at 178 and 180 respectively.

I am *not* doing any cardio exercise though. I may do some walking and yoga, and I'd like to swim, but I'm going to wait until we've gotten past the 10 week Level I screen before I do any cardio. That's when we found out that Colleen (miscarrage #3) had too high of a heartbeat and I didn't stop exercising---which I should have.

In other eating news, I am switching from my regular diet of eating as much food with as few of calories to eating as little food with as much calories as possible. My first day following Dr. Luke was painful because I was just eating more of my "regular" food. I thought my stomach was going to explode. Then I got 2% milk, full fat yogurt, cheese, ice cream and some meat and was not in nearly as much pain the second day. By the way, cheese is my friend: 2 oz of cheese, which is not that much, has more calories than a chicken breast. That certainly explains why I don't lose weight when I'm eating cheese, but that counts for two servings of dairy and 240 very good, non bloating calories on this diet.

Oddly, I'm also finding that although I'm eating a substantial amount of food at each meal and snack---I am STILL getting hungry! I even had a double 1/4 lb cheeseburger for lunch at school on Thursday, and I was still quite hungry afterwards. Yikes!!

It is cognitively Very Weird to try to get fat. It's why Dave has to listen to me repetively cite the benefits of this early weight gain. He doesn't care, but I am still convincing myself.

It's 9 am on a Saturday. It might be time for another nap.

I Am Full

Everything is going well with the spotting, which means there is none.  I am taking it easy, although I'm no longer trying for full bed rest.  I'm just trying to not stand on my feet all that long at any one time.  

We go back Friday for another ultrasound and I'm really looking forward to it!  I am also imagining two little beans in my belly with two strong heartbeats as they start to grow their arm and leg buds.  

What is more on my mind, or more literally in my belly, is what I'm eating and going to be eating during this healthy pregnancy.  In the infertile world where more people than you would imagine end up with twins, I have constantly heard women sing the praises of Dr. Barbara Luke, a professor/researcher/epidemiologist/MPH/registered dietitian who runs a program to help women with their nutrition during twin pregnancies.  She is also a full professor at the University of Miami Medical school, which in my world means she's done significant research and is recognized by a prestigious university as an internationally known scholar.  

So, yeah, she has a few academic credentials.  

But because I am a critical scholar, I also checked out her academic publications through our school.  (We don't have a medical school, but we have a big school of nursing and have a ton of medical journals available to us)  The most impressive peer reviewed, academic study I found by her and her research team involves comparing 190 mothers of twins who've followed her nutritional program to  331 "regular" mothers of twins, all of whom gave birth over 6 years at the University of Michigan hospital.  These women were not randomly assigned to the program, it's one main drawback, but they are all using a university hospital, so they are not completely different populations.  

In any case, the mothers who followed her nutritional program reduced by *more* than half their chances of having preterm labor, preeclampsia and babies' time in the NICU.  They also increased their chances by more than half of giving birth after 36 weeks and increased by 2.5 times their chances of having a baby who was not low birth weight.  Those are impressive results.

I know from some of my criticisms of non-randomized research that you can often explain health outcomes by the "healthy" third variable.  For example, people who very strictly follow their doctor's advice on taking medications are more likely to have healthy outcomes.  And this doesn't matter if the medicine is real or a placebo!  So people who follow her nutritional plan may simply be part of this healthy third variable group--they are just naturally and conscientiously healthier people.  

Nonetheless, when one sees changes as big as these changes--reducing problems by one half and increasing positives by more than a half---one is more likely to believe that the results of the study are due to real program effects and not population differences.  

So yay--a way to improve the odds of us "going all the way" and taking the babies home with me when I leave the hospital.  Which just so happen to be my two main goals with this pregnancy.

What's the nutritional program?  Gaining a boatload of weight the first 20 weeks.  How much weight?  (((Gulp))) 25 pounds by 20 weeks.  She wants a total weight gain for someone my size (which I would like to point out is exactly in the middle of normal for my height.  Ha!  I keep thinking I'm really fat.  But after living in LA, maybe normal/average is fat) of between 40 and 55  lbs for the whole pregnancy.  Yes.  That *is* a lot of weight?  And how do I do it? By eating around 3500 calories a day.  

Holy. Shit.  Do you know how much food 3500 calories represents?  It is a LOT of food.  I thought that it was supposed to be just a lot of protein, but in all honesty, it's the same proportion of proteins to carbs to fats as the FDA food pyramid; it's just a boatload of food.  

Oh. My. God(dess).  I feel like Rene Zellweger gaining weight for Bridget Jones' Diary.  It is not fun at all.  It's one thing to go overboard and eat 2800 calories in one day.  It is quite another to eat 3500 calories every day and not be training for an ultra-marathon.  I am telling you right now that this is worse than any "diet" I've ever been on in my life.  

And yes, I can see why one would think this was bullshit and just eat a little bit more than normal.  But when I see that I have at least some control that is clearly within my own power to go to term with these babies, to not have them be in the NICU, and to take them home with me as fat and healthy as Conor was, I look at the clock and plan when I'm going to have that piece of whole wheat fiber toast with cashew butter and a banana for a "snack."  (That would have been a hardy breakfast a few weeks ago) 

Pelvic Rest

I have been spotting about once a day for the last week or so.  It's been brown, so I really haven't been that worried.  Also, I found this site which argues that spotting is quite common with IVF treatments because the estrogen and progesterone have made one's lining quite fluffy. It's, therefore, more likely to spot a bit.

Then yesterday morning, we went from spotting to bleeding.  It was a qualitatively different event.  I freaked out a lot and called my doctor, who then scheduled an ultrasound for yesterday afternoon. 

There is no bad news.  The good news is that the babies have grown (though not as much as I'd like) and their heartrates are perfect.  They also found a subchorionic bleed next to baby B. It was very small, but could explain why there was bleeding.  I wish it wasn't there and I can't understand why I have a clot when I'm on lovenox and baby aspirin.  It makes me more cautious than ever about going off the lovenox any time soon.

So now I'm on "pelvic rest."  I'm not supposed to lift anything heavy or to stand while I'm at work.  I contacted the CA clinic who said that 70% of their IVF patients have some bleeding in early pg (very much like the link above suggests).  In addition, the "vast majority" go on to deliver healthy babies.  They, however, hinted that they would have recommended full bedrest.

I do  think everything is going to be ok.  The babies look great.  I really think it's going to turn out ok. It just wasn't a lot of fun yesterday.  

Twins

So, ummm, yeah!

We are adjusting to having twins.  And yes, I do know it's still  early and all that stuff, but things are looking great and there's no reason to think otherwise, so I'm thinking that come July 1, we'll be the proud and sleep deprived parents of twins.  

Oh. My. God(dess).

As my mom and dad said, it's one thing to think you're having twins and quite another to know it.  So Dave and I decided also when we were both wide awake on Monday night around 2 am.  

We are obviously really excited, but there are issues.  Like, neither of our current cars can hold two rear facing infant car seats, much less two rear facing infant car seats, a 5 year old in a booster seat and a dog.  That problem was actually resolved fairly quickly by at least identifying that the 2004 Honda Odyssey (ahem, minivan) is holding up very well for a used car and is very reasonably priced on Car Max.  

We also need to get moving on this remodel.  The timing and the financial situation are actually really good right now if 1) we can figure out the best financing option and 2) find a contractor willing to let us buy some of our own material at a cheaper price and do some of the work ourselves.  And we also have to find a place to live for a couple of months since they will be adding a second story and our house won't have a roof.  Yikes.  

And then, what is most concerning to me, is making sure I do not go into preterm labor.  I've had friends who have had months of preterm labor and bedrest and premature twins and friends who kicked booty and, although were majorly uncomfortable, had very healthy babies.  I'm wanting to be like option #2.  I've already ordered a few books and am surfing the web and the med journals for info.  Basically, my preliminary conclusions are that 1) I need to gain a substantial amount of protein based weight to help my uterus grow and 2) I need to take some serious calcium supplements.  I know that freaking out about pretern labor may seem a wee bit early, but what I'm seeing is that the recommendations are a 20 lb weight gain by 22 weeks.  And at 7 weeks, considering I've lost a few pounds, it seems like I ought to be paying attention to what I'm eating.  

In any case, HOLY COW, I'm still   a bit freaked out!  We're excited!  Yes, we are!!  But there are  a few things to do before we give birth.  And this doesn't even include the two research papers, book chapter, and the NSF grant I want to get out before I give birth.

But as my new guru Oprah says, you can only do one thing at a time.  So don't freak yourself out about how many things you need to do.  You can only take one step at a time.  While you're running, screaming down the street.    

Tranes, Mushrooms and Guacamole

Our new heating system, a Trane, was installed on Friday,  and there was much rejoicing.  It's amazing how used one can get to being cold all the time.  Actually, no.  I never got used to it.  I just got used to moving the space heaters around the house according to what we were doing. What's even better is that with this new system, it's also obvious how bad the old system was.  Now, we're warm in *every* room.  Not just the ones right where the heater came into the house.  They still need to hook up the electrical part of it; a sensor is missing.  Still, it's warm.  And we are happy.

On other fronts, we are quite surprised that Conor has a mushroom on his knee.  Wha????  He actually has ringworm on his knee, but despite its name, it's actually a fungus.  So really, he has a mushroom growing on the skin around his knee.  He most likely got it playing in the mulch around the rain garden, according to the vet when we took Patches in to see if he was the culprit.  We're treating him with antifungal cream which takes about two weeks to a month to heal, for Pete's sake.  We're trying not to call it ringWORM around Conor too much because I think it could freak him out.  We're also not calling it a mushroom on his knee much either.  Mainly, we're just putting medicine on his "thing" twice a day.  (Which sounds totally inappropriate when I say it like that).  Still, it's a thing and he's not freaking out about it.  That's the good part.  

Finally, Holy Guacamole, folks.  We've got some news and if I was a better writer I could tie together the heater, the ringworm and this final bit of info.  Nonetheless, after battling off a migraine this morning (from the extra hormones) and trying to keep the cheese I just ate down, I have something big to tell you.  We went in for our ultrasound this morning.  I was worried because I haven't been having as bad of pg symptoms for the last couple of days, i.e., I could eat.  A lot.  And I wanted to eat a lot.  

Also, I was supposed to have the OB's appointment first and then the ultrasound, but they switched it.  Dave was going to skip the OB and just be there for the u/s.  But they were very kind and by the time I'd peed and gotten undressed (with my socks still on because it was COLD), Dave arrived.  

We held hands, while they started the ultrasound.  We haven't always had good luck with these things, so I'm sure I was squeezing his hand pretty tightly.  She kept the screen facing her so I couldn't see what was happening.  "Well," she said, "I can definitely see a heartbeat."  

Oh, thank goodness, I thought.  Everything is going to be ok.

"Actually," she continued, "heartbeats. There are two.  I didn't want to say anything until I could see both heartbeats."  

Oh. My. God(dess).  

I had totally convinced myself that there was only one in there.  Dave has been sure all along that there were two (as were my parents).  But I was convinced there was only one.  I mean, I've been queasy, but I haven't been dying of morning sickness.  Although I have thrown up twice, which hasn't happened before.  

In any case,  back to my uterus.  Baby A measures 6 weeks 4 days and has a heartbeat of 125.  Baby B measures 6 weeks 4 days and has a  heartbeat of 124.  Since I am 6 weeks 4 days, I take this to be a good sign.  Also, 124 is a perfect heartrate at this point.  (I would link to the research, but I cannot find it)

So, Yay!  It's a little overwhelming right now, and I have a ton of work to do today.  But we are pretty psyched that things look fantastic at this point.  And looking fantastic at this point is a very, very good place to be.  

Still Here, Shivering

Hello! Hello!

Things are going just dandy, which means my boobs are killing me, I'm often nauseous and I will likely fall dead asleep by 9:00 tonight.  I will also wake up several times throughout the night and have to pee.  In. The. Cold.  

We are still without our furnace here in the frosty Mother Thing household.  And it's getting down to 25 degrees tomorrow night.  The good news is that is now blatantly obvious that the insulation we had blown into the walls last winter really works.  We have two space heaters and are able to keep the house livable.  That's saying something considering the first winter we lived here, I could easily feel a breeze in the middle any given room.  It's still cool around the walls and windows, but for the most part, our house is comfortable.  Truly, without a furnace.  That is nice.

Nonetheless.  Friday we get a new dual fuel pack hybrid thingy installed.  And supposedly, the whole house will now be the same temperature.  And that temperature will not be frosty.  We are very excited.

As for the belly, we have our ultrasound next Monday.  Otherwise, my goal is to just keep growing this little one inside of me and helping him/her be healthy.

The Boobs

My boobs really, really hurt.  In all my gazillion pregnancies, my boobs have never been this sore.  And that includes when I was breastfeeding, which for those of you who have tandem nursed, you know hurts.

If I could walk around hunched back with nothing touching my chest, it might not be so bad.  

But as that would be an awkward way to teach class (and frightening to the students, indeend), I am just going to have to continually complain and complain about how bad this things hurt.  

I know it's a "good sign", but nonetheless, it hurts.

New Number In!

I swear, I wasn't trying to play coy.  One of the problems with being on the east coast with a west coast clinic is that they are fully unaware of one's freaked-out-ed-ness about how late it is getting for the results.

Today's number at 19 dpo (14dp5dt) was 2962.  It more than doubled twice from the last beta at 15 dpo.  I have to be honest with you:  I know that's a fine number, but I'm a little disappointed.  I'm not worried, but I'm not longer convinced that it's twins.  It may be that there were twins and now there isn't.  

The doubling rate was 43 hours, which is a little bit longer than the average of what they see on Betabase.info for either singletons or twins.  I know the doctors are happy to see any doubling rate less than 48 hours.  But that is sort of like saying that seeing a heartbeat (any heartbeat) reduces the miscarriage rate to 5%.  It doesn't.

And maybe it's with my miscarriage rate that it's just not likely I'm going to be thrilled with anything until I have a baby in my arms.  It's a fine number.  I would have liked something closer to 3200.  I can't have everything, eh?!

Good News!

Well, we just got the call from the doctor's office.  I am "officially" pregnant.  My HcG was 631 on 10dp5dt, 15 dpo.  (By the way, I think I'm doing the numbers right.  If I'm off, would someone let me know?  We had a 5 day )

That's definitely the highest HcG we've gotten this early in the game.  It could still be indicative of twins and it could also be just a high number for a singleton.  The good news is that I've already passed the threshold for not having a miscarriage based on an academic study.  

Honestly, I thought the number would be  higher. But really, we are happy. We go back on Tuesday the 11th for our follow-up blood work.    

Dadgum it!

I hate when I realize that I totally didn't blog about what I meant to blog about.

I was dashing off that last entry before class and what I had actually been thinking about all morning, was WOW!  Thank you for all your support on our "We're Pregnant" post yesterday.  I was so excited to hear from a few folks that I haven't heard from in a while!  I'm so glad to see you're still here!!

I'm actually looking forward to posting more often in the near future, perhaps as we deal with the possibility that I've got two buns in this oven.  But in any case, I wanted to say that your comments made me feel really good yesterday.  Thanks!!

14 dpo

I guess officially, this is 9dp5dt.  But I've already converted it in my head from retrieval and transfer to ovulation.  If yesterday's HPT was dark with the line saying, "You're pregnant", today's line was all "I saiiid you were pregnant."  It is so much darker than control line is amazing.  I only had this happen once and it was 3 days further along.  Since HCG is doubling at a rate less than 48 hours right now, I can only imagine what tomorrow's blood test is going to be.

Even if I hadn't tested, I would suspect something was up.  I nearly yakked last night when I hopped out of  bed to go to the bathroom.  There will be no more hopping out of bed in the near future.  Food is also an odd thing:  I'm hungry but can be easily repulsed by the most innocent of foods.  

And then we have the boobs.  I used to have very small boobs.  But 3 1/2 years of breastfeeding (and a couple of extra pounds) truly changed that.  Now, however, they are both sore and enornmous.  It hurts to lie on my stomach and it's frightening to see me in some regular shirts. When I told my students that I was going to California for a medical leave, I assured them I wasn't dying.  Then I added, I'm also not going to California for cosmetic surgery.  I'm not sure they would believe me right now.