Tranes, Mushrooms and Guacamole

Our new heating system, a Trane, was installed on Friday,  and there was much rejoicing.  It's amazing how used one can get to being cold all the time.  Actually, no.  I never got used to it.  I just got used to moving the space heaters around the house according to what we were doing. What's even better is that with this new system, it's also obvious how bad the old system was.  Now, we're warm in *every* room.  Not just the ones right where the heater came into the house.  They still need to hook up the electrical part of it; a sensor is missing.  Still, it's warm.  And we are happy.

On other fronts, we are quite surprised that Conor has a mushroom on his knee.  Wha????  He actually has ringworm on his knee, but despite its name, it's actually a fungus.  So really, he has a mushroom growing on the skin around his knee.  He most likely got it playing in the mulch around the rain garden, according to the vet when we took Patches in to see if he was the culprit.  We're treating him with antifungal cream which takes about two weeks to a month to heal, for Pete's sake.  We're trying not to call it ringWORM around Conor too much because I think it could freak him out.  We're also not calling it a mushroom on his knee much either.  Mainly, we're just putting medicine on his "thing" twice a day.  (Which sounds totally inappropriate when I say it like that).  Still, it's a thing and he's not freaking out about it.  That's the good part.  

Finally, Holy Guacamole, folks.  We've got some news and if I was a better writer I could tie together the heater, the ringworm and this final bit of info.  Nonetheless, after battling off a migraine this morning (from the extra hormones) and trying to keep the cheese I just ate down, I have something big to tell you.  We went in for our ultrasound this morning.  I was worried because I haven't been having as bad of pg symptoms for the last couple of days, i.e., I could eat.  A lot.  And I wanted to eat a lot.  

Also, I was supposed to have the OB's appointment first and then the ultrasound, but they switched it.  Dave was going to skip the OB and just be there for the u/s.  But they were very kind and by the time I'd peed and gotten undressed (with my socks still on because it was COLD), Dave arrived.  

We held hands, while they started the ultrasound.  We haven't always had good luck with these things, so I'm sure I was squeezing his hand pretty tightly.  She kept the screen facing her so I couldn't see what was happening.  "Well," she said, "I can definitely see a heartbeat."  

Oh, thank goodness, I thought.  Everything is going to be ok.

"Actually," she continued, "heartbeats. There are two.  I didn't want to say anything until I could see both heartbeats."  

Oh. My. God(dess).  

I had totally convinced myself that there was only one in there.  Dave has been sure all along that there were two (as were my parents).  But I was convinced there was only one.  I mean, I've been queasy, but I haven't been dying of morning sickness.  Although I have thrown up twice, which hasn't happened before.  

In any case,  back to my uterus.  Baby A measures 6 weeks 4 days and has a heartbeat of 125.  Baby B measures 6 weeks 4 days and has a  heartbeat of 124.  Since I am 6 weeks 4 days, I take this to be a good sign.  Also, 124 is a perfect heartrate at this point.  (I would link to the research, but I cannot find it)

So, Yay!  It's a little overwhelming right now, and I have a ton of work to do today.  But we are pretty psyched that things look fantastic at this point.  And looking fantastic at this point is a very, very good place to be.  

We're So Excited!!!

We are so psyched over here in the Mother Thing household.  After waiting for years and years, we've finally got what we want!!  It's pretty much all we've been talking about and I think we're still pinching ourselves to believe it's true.

What?  Do you think I'm talking about the election?  Well, although we are pretty psyched about Obama's win and Dave has called me" obsessed," no, this is much better and more Mother Thing specific news:

We're PREGNANT!!!

And honestly, according to the progressively dark line on the four tests I've taken in the last four days, we're apparently Very Pregnant.  I'm 8dp5dpt (13 dpo) and the test line this morning on the FRER is darker than the control line.  The last time that happened, my HCG/Beta count at 16 or 17 dpo was over 800.  (I'm voting that the control line is closer to 600 units).  In any case, that's a really dark line for 13 dpo.  

I don't go in for the bloodwork for 2 more days, but we thought we'd go ahead and share our excitement about the good news:  both the pregnancy and the election!!!

3dp5dt

How weird to finally be "in the game" with this process and being able to write that bizarre word.  It stands for 3 days past a 5 day transfer--essentially 8 days past ovulation in a regular cycle.

Yes, I completely understand that it's too early to feel anything "real", nonetheless, this is the first cycle for sure that I know somebody (some bodies) are in there.  Yesterday morning, I was totally reeling in indigestion after breakfast.  Again, I know it's too early, but I had that exact same feeling at about the same time for Miscarriage #2.  I didn't have any heartburn last night after dinner, but I did wake up this morning feeling like I had a "sour stomach."

This morning I woke up feeling nauseous. Not anything horrible, just not liking food.  And then I coughed and immediately dry heaved.  That's not typical.   

In any case, it's way too early to test and alll of these "symptoms" may just be side effects of the PIO.  However, I didn't have any symptoms before the transfer and have only started them a few days later.  Annnnd, feeling the rise of acid in my stomach now.  Hopefeully, this is good news.

What is not good news is that our furnace is out!  Brrrrrrrrr.  Hopefully that will be fixed today because it's freakin' cold around here.

Transfer

The transfer went really, really well.  They transferred two high quality blastocysts that looked like they were starting to "hatch".  The embryologist said that it meant that they were likely to keep growing---a good thing.

We also have already frozen quite a few other blastocysts and it's possible that we'll have some more tomorrow.  

We are pretty psyched.  I'm thinking sticky peanut butter thoughts---my uterus is like peanut butter and the embyros are stuck in it and digging in.  

I'm to take it easy for the next three days---not the crazy bedrest they prescribed before, just off my feet and taking it easy.  So, that's what I'm going to do.  

I'm already starting to feel a little crampy.  It could be from the catheter that they stuck up my coochie, but I'm hoping that it's a couple of buggers digging in there.

:-)

Surprisingly Good News

When we last checked in, one day after retrieval, we had found out that 15 of our 22 eggs had fertilizied.

Two days after retrieval, we found out some astonishingly good news:  in those 24 hours, an additional 6 eggs fertilized.  We now have 21 out of 22 embryos that are trying their darndest to become babies.

Today, we found out that things are still going very, very well.  According the the chart they gave us, today they would like to see 4-8 cells.  The good news is that one embryo is now an 10-12 cell morula.  The embryologist assures us that although this is unusual, it's actually a good thing.  We have three 10-cell embyros with two graded good  and one graded fair.  In addition, we have five 8-cell embryos rated good, six 8-cells rated fair, three 7-cells rated fair and three 6-cells rated fair.

As far as I can tell, everybody is looking pretty good.  The more cells the better, so we actually have 4 really dang good looking embryos and an additional 5 pretty dang good embryos.  The remaining 12 are, I guess, just dang good looking embryos.  I read somewhere that less than 4 cells today are a bad sign and everybody has more than that.  

Although the embyrologist says the morula is fine, it worries me that it may be past its prime for transfer by Tuesday.  I really hope not.  

We'll see how things go.  I'm thinking things look good.  I just hope Mr. Morula doesn't peak too soon.

15!

We have 15 fertilized embryos!!

Today they are going to let us know how they are developing (2 vs. 4 cells) and whether we will be doing a 3-day transfer tomorrow (bad) or a 5 day on Tuesday (much, much better).

I am beginning to feel like a pin cushion.  My belly is quite bruised.  Yesterday's heparin shot went very, very wrong and there is a huge bruise the color of a midnight thunderstorm on my belly.  Also, I am beginning to notice that when I lift my shirt to get sympathy for my bruises, my friends' first scream of horror involves the giant millipede scar from my stomach surgery, and it's only after they take a breath and scream again do they notice the bruises. Let's just say the bikini modeling days are well behind me.

Speaking of my behind, the PIO shots started 2 days ago.  The first one felt fine and I wondered what all the belly-aching was about.  Then I went to sleep and rolled over.  Ah.  That's why.  Yesterday's shot hurt almost immediately, but I found that walking around like an ostrich in a parade seemed to help work out that pain.  Today, it just feels like I've been exercising hard and my booty is sore.  If only that were the case.

Hopefully, we'll hear soon about the cells' progress.

So Far, So Good

Well, this is a bit different. Of course, now that I've said it, I've jinxed everything. And I'm not being facetious, that's how I feel.

They retrieved 26 eggs. 22 were mature. They did ICSI on them and we'll find out later today how many fertilized. They all think this is good news, but my stomach gets in knots just thinking about it.

We're traveling today, so I hope to have Internet access later on to update.

Update

Well, things are still looking good.

The retrieval is set for Thursday.  We may be looking at double digits as far as the number of follicles goes.  

I'll post again on Friday to update about the fertility rate.  I say that feeling like I am being way too bold to even think that might happen.  

It's truly surreal to travel around the country to try to get pregnant.

It's a Go!

Holy Cow.  It appears we are actually doing this, or at least, we're actually heading out to California.  Everything is a go and I am still surprised.  

Of course, not to sound like Eeyore, but I'll believe it when we're there and they are actually doing the procedure.  I have to admit that it feels like we're carrying our own pharmacy out on the plane.  We got a letter from the docs just in case TSA stops us and wants to know what the bazillion syringes are for.  They look deadly, but the worst they could do is cause the pilot to ovulate and improve his or her uterine lining.  While some might find that weird, it's not technically a "threat."  

It looks like Thursday will be the retrieval date.  We're looking decent with the number of eggs and I don't want to jinx anything by saying the exact number, but we are actually optimistic. If Thursday is retrieval and everything else goes well, transfer will be on Tuesday.  

I've obviously had a hard time focusing on getting everything done here.  But somehow, I'm actually Getting Things Done.  I have to be honest, two weeks off in the middle of the semester is no professor's idea of a good time.  Thank God(dess), I have tenure now.  It makes this whole procedure a lot less stressful.

We'll have internet at the hotel, so I'll be sure and update when we can!!!

YIKES!!!!!

Mother Things

The trip to the dentist continues to be important in the Mother Thing household.  Conor is checking the morning and evening circleson  his Brushing Board.  We've always brushed morning and night, but now there's somethign to check and so he likes it very much.  He's also very concerned that we finish brushing his teeth with little circles.  They repeated that several times, so he's very concerned that we do it correctly.  We oblige.

Our architect came by on Weds with the drawings for the remodel.  He's recommending a second story master suite with a loft and taking over the back deck for the family room.  We actually LOVE the drawings.  It will really make our house more Arts & Crafts-y and add on space without just plopping big rooms around the floor plan.  It will always be a smallish house with smallish rooms.  But it will feel bigger and actually have more space.  In any case, we have to figure out if and how we can afford the remodel.  And there's an issue with the kitchen window we need to figure out, but other than that, we're loving this plan.  

So far, the trip out to the clinic in CA is still on.  Things look good right now, but I've thought that before.  We'll see what happens in the next few critical days.  I did finally figure out that icing BEFORE I give myself shots decreases both the pain and bruising.  I was doing it afterwards, but now I no longer shout out curse words if I hit some painful spot.  It still looks like Dave has beaten me with a stick on my belly.  But, you know, whatever.  

I had to tell my classes that I am leaving for nearly two weeks for a medical leave.  I'm keeping the real reasons private (for once!), but I didn't want my class to think I was in danger of dying or anything.  Then again, if I told you I was going to a clinic in California for nearly two weeks, what would you think?  Well, if you could see me, you might think I was going out for cosmetic surgery!  So I did tell them that 1) I'm not dying and 2) I'm not getting cosmetic surgery.  They thought that was very funny. (Cuz I could probably use more than a little at this point!)

Nonetheless, we have a boatload to do to get ready.  And I haven't even told you about She and Ne (they rhyme).  I promise I will tell you about She and Ne soon.  This is one thing we have to get on record before they go away.  

Ramping Up

Well, the medications are starting to ramp up for our next cycle.  We're heading out in a couple of weeks and I'm hoping things work out this time.  It's incredibly weird to be leaving for so long in the middle of the semester.  A good friend is lecturing for a week in my undergraduate class, and we're meeting over the weekend for my graduate class.  All in all, that will work out well.

I'm still recovering from Bunny Stomp 2008.  I did not get the reaction online that I received from my FtF friends--the screaming, the hold of one's face in one's hand and the general disgust at having someone who could step on a bunny in one's presence.

Perhaps I did a better job at describing the pitch black road between the two streetlights, the hard pillow/soft book feeling of that particular step, and the (not being flippant here) the horrible screams that ensued, both the bunny's and mine.  I have apologized to everyone I can think of:  God, the universere, the bunny, every one.  And I am still having a hard time dealing with that experience.  

People ask how I couldn't see it:  it is so dark here right now in the morning.  The sky doesn't even think of getting lighter until 7 am, and I was out there about 6 am.  

People ask how it is physically possible that I stepped on a bunny:  my call is that the bunny was already injured, a thought that comforts neither me nor the bunny.  

I don't know if I have shared my experiences of running and jumping over a bird that flew up between my legs or scaring a mouse once or getting into a fight with a squirrel.   But I'm starting to get a wee bit paranoid with the wild animals and my runs.  And wondering what it is about me and my running that I am a hazard to mostly innocent animals while I'm out and about. 

Still Here

No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth.  It just feels like I have, at least to me.

I never believed folks when they told me that life after tenure isn't really that much different than life before tenure.  And in some ways, folks who told me that were really wrong.  I am much less stressed about my future here.  And I am sometimes highly cognizant that I am an associate professor with all the rights and privileges that come with it (essentially, I can be cranky and it won't bite me in the butt).  I am very happy to be on this side of that employment decision.  And that makes me very happy.

Nonetheless, things are not easier.  I didn't work two Sundays ago and thought I would die trying to catch up the rest of the week.  I still have a lot of manuscripts to work on, including one I'm turning in today (a revise and resubmit that I think is going to make a big splash in my research area).  I've got more students who are working with me and who want to work with me--all bright, hardworking students who I am thrilled to have on my team. But it's a lot of work.  I'm also upping my service work and am having to deal with a transition in one group that is, quite bluntly, been one of the biggest pains in my booty in my academic career.  And I'm going to have to do something pretty big.  It's the right thing to do, but it's going to be tough.  

And things are moving along in the IVF department.  Since the last two times, I've felt burnt by having to come back and report bad news, I'm not saying squat here until we know absolutely for sure one way or another.  

And I'm still trying to exercise.  I gave up running, but with my new orthotics, I think it's a possibility again.  However, it will not be a possibility again on my normal running route.  Besides stepping on a dying bunny in the dark (I think it was a bunny.  I stepped on something and it squeaked.  Gross to the extreme, even if I do hate bunnies now), I literally ran past two men stealing a car!  This was definitely in the shadier side of my 'hood and they were definitely up to no good.  They were fiddling around under the front of the car and in the glove compartment when I ran by and waved (I always wave).  And then I heard the trunk pop and I thought, it that was their car, they wouldn't need to finagle it to open the trunk.  I then sprinted as fast as my fat flabby legs could take me to a local gas station and called 911.  I would normally have waited to call 911 until I got home, but they saw me see them and the look they gave me was not "Good morning, jogger!!!" Of course, maybe they had a flat tire. I don't know.  In any case, the cops could help sort that out.  

So there you go.  Running over bunnies and into potential car thieves and not getting to eat bon-bons all day at work.

That is how this academic year has started.  Thank God(dess) that fall break is in two weeks.

Back on Track

Well, we're back from the CA trip. We were supposed to stay until Thursday, but since, uhhh, THAT PART FELL THROUGH, we came back early. We still went to attend my conference and see some friends.

We also went to Disneyland on my birthday. I cannot explain to you how wonderful it was to be at Disneyland for Conor's first trip on my birthday. (BTW, did you know you get a button for your birthday at Disney and you can adjust your age so that "all your dreams come true?" Very nice) Conor rode his first roller coaster (fun!), saw Minnie and Micky(fun! fun!) and saw his first parade in which a trombone player played specifically to Conor while Conor grinned and squirmed and died of embarrassed excitement. I know that the band members know that it's fun for the crowd to see that, but I guarantee they have no idea just how much it makes the parents' hearts swell to see this.

We also went to the beach in San Clemente, and I spent more time in the (frigid-oh-my-god-did-I-just-run-into-an-iceberg-go-on-without-me-and-save-yourself, Rose) water that day than I ever spent in the 10 years I lived in Los Angeles. Conor rode a boogie board and even fell over a few times without freaking out too much.

And on the day we were traveling back, we got a call from our cat/dogsitter that Patches wasn't eating or playing and Scarlett was peeing outside the box--a sign from our last trip that she was very sick. They very, very kindly took Scarlett to the animal hospital and we just prayed that both of them would make it by the time we came back. Early. Without a baby. No wonder why I was so weepy on the flight back, eh?

Patches is doing much better and is playing and happily eating again. I picked up Scarlett from the vet and I learned how to give her Sub-Cutaneous shots of fluids to keep her kidneys clean (for $80 a month! yikes!!) We've also decided that we can't leave the animals alone for this long again. So, Mom and Dad....stay free in October! The grandcat and the granddog and the grandkid are going to need you to babysit them while we make our I-hope-to-God, gods, and goddesses-last-trip-for-a-while to get pregnant.

Well, That Wasn't Our Best Day

Dave, at 10:00 last night, opening the second bottle of wine (thanks, Dad!), "So let us recap today."

"First, you are meditating and using incense to set the mood. And instead, you set off the fire alarm.

Then, after ADT calls, you decide to move the smoke out of the house by turning on the attic fan and while sucking up the smoke into the attic, it also sucks the 110 degree, 100% humidity air into the house.

And then you realize that the fan is still broken and you can't turn it off and, potentially, you will be sucking air into the house all day long on one of the hottest day of the year.

And then you call me and I can't come home and fix the fan and we realize that your arms are not as long as my monkey arms* and I cannot effectively describe my trick of turning off the fan and you are too lame** to actually do it yourself.

So then you stand outside in the 110 degree, 100% humidity weather turning the fuse switches off and on, off and on, off and on, multiple times around the box until you finally figure out which one turns the fan off.

And then you go out in the Subaru to run some errands. And the check engine light starts flashing while the power nearly cuts off in the car. You coast into the post office parking lot and call me. I call AAA and find out that they will not be able to tow the car for two hours. You have a choice of sitting by the car in the 110 degree, 100% humidity weather or walking back 15 minutes back to the house in the 110 degree, 100% humidity weather and then walking 15 minutes back to the car in the 110 degree, 100% humidity weather when the tow truck arrives and then walking 15 minutes back to the house in the (by then) 115 degree, 100% humidity weather after the tow truck leaves. You opt to walk and have some time in the a/c vs. sit by the car like a roasted idiot.

And then you get a call from our daycare at 4:30 in the afternoon to decide which pre-K class Conor is going enroll in: the going-to-kindergarten next year pre-K class or the going-to-wait-another-year-before-going-to-kindergarten pre-K class. This bring to a massive head the discussions we've been having for the last week about whether it would be better for Conor to be the oldest or the youngest student in his class. He will always be the tallest, but should we honor his introversion or his curiousity in when he starts kindergarten? We continue to note that everyone we know who has been the youngest in their class has hated it while those who have been the oldest or in the middle have not noticed it. The benefits for holding Conor back are numerous and could include more self-confidence now and college scholarships later. The benefits of letting him go forward include keeping him apace with some of his friends and keeping him from being bored for his first few years at school. Daycare gives us a week to decide while we try to make one of the biggest decisions in Conor's life thus far and we cannot get his reasoned input on it.

And then we get a call at 8:15 at night from the Fancy California IVF Clinic to 'discuss test results.' And while everything looks great on the fertility side (blood levels and egg counts), there is a problem with another test and they have decided to cancel our IVF cycle this month, resolve the test issues, and reschedule the IVF for October. You point out your lack of vacation days or sick days as a professor, but agree to the delay. They point out that nothing is inherently 'wrong' or 'bad' but we're delayed. Again.

So does that kind of sum up how the day has gone?"

Ummm, yes. Not the best day we've ever had.

*Maybe I was being cranky. **Maybe Dave was too.

Update on Me

I've gotten a lot of grief from blog readers, friends and family that I haven't provided any updates on my hair since my dramatic post a month ago about my hair. The good news is that you were right: the toner did fade after a few vigorous washings and some time in the sun. I no longer lood like Loretta Lynn. And I still don't and never will look like Pamela Anderson...my lips are too thin. Still, I'd be happy for a bit more lightness around my face, more like Sarah Jessica Parker, which I have been told I resemble, especially in her curly days. (it's the hair and her face; we both have that long, horsey face)

In any case, I'm going to wait and go to a bargain option at a local upscale salon and chose their "mantra" option, basically newbie stylists who will die my hair purple, I mean, highlight it the way I want, once I'm past the first trimester.

Ok. So just even writing that makes me start to hyperventiliate. No, there is no miraculous, money saving news I have to post here about being pregnant. I'm on too much medication for any slip up to occur. Instead, I'm freaking out because everything is going to go down next week. They've had me on drugs to stop everything for a month and now they are starting to ramp things up again.

AHHHHHHHHH!

It does freak me out.

Things are looking better this cycle. The antral follicle (resting egg count) count is higher. They have me on my auto-immune drugs now, which the other clinic waited until after retrieval to start. Stims are starting.

It's been a little weird to see how different the protocols are for each clinic. They are not massively different; that is, one clinic isn't calling for new meds while the other sacrifices goats. Still, it's clear that ART is more of an art than a science. I'm hoping we're heading to the "Monet" clinic, which we're hoping is just a little bit more successful than Cassat.

Oh, speaking of art and how my feet are not pretty, I went back to my podiatrist last week because my feet are about to fall off. Despite having my new orthotics, my poor left foot is miserable. I cannot wear much beyond my sneakers (I look so pretty in a dress now! Sassy!!! ) and I have not been able to run because my foot hurts so much.

He is designing new orthotics for me, even dressy ones that might let me wear less hideous shoes. But the goal is for me to have the surgery as soon as I can, after (hopefully) this next pregnancy. It's obvious that it's getting worse and we need to correct it. Otherwise, I'm not sure I'll even be able to walk in a few years time.

OK. Now you're up to date on me from head to toe, which a nice detour around the middle sections. Fingers crossed that everything turns out the way it's supposed to over these next few weeks.

Cleanse On!

So Day 4 was by far the easiest thus far. I wasn't tired, I found meals easily and everything seems dandy. (this of course means that tomorrow will suck tofu)

Another one of the reasons I'm doing this cleanse is that I would like my body to be in tip-top shape for the next round of IVF. Yes, we do have that scheduled. We'll be going to the West Coast and it seems like my ovulation cycle will be working quite closely with the conference we're going to be out in the West Coast for anyway. They will have to delay the start of my next cycle a bit to make sure it's that week, but overall, the timing is working out really well!!

So I thought, why not cleanse out my cells/body/gut and give this is a good try?

Also, I like moving back to my vegetarian days. I'm not sure I want to be a full vegeterian again and by saying that, I don't mean that I'm going to rank animals by intelligence and eat based on that. What I'd really like to do is choose meat based on its humane life and death. Dave and I have actually discussed this and it's one of the reasons we're seriously thinking about getting a chicken coop for our back yard. (I am SO not kidding)

Because we'd like to have local, grass fed, free range meat, we know it is going to cost more. And if it's going to cost more, we're going to eat a lot less of it. Ironically, this is how I was raised. (Locally born, grass fed, free range). HA! No, that's how the meat I ate as a child came to our table. But we did it because we didn't have a lot of money and did have a lot of land. Now, we're doing it because it's healthier, more ethical and more sustainable.

So yeah. I just found a farmer from Virginia who is coming to our local farmer's market every three weeks with meat that is free range and grass fed. It's really expensive. So, we'll have it on occassion. And for the rest of the time, we'll have a plant based lifestyle. It feels like it's the right next step for us to take.

Not Doing as Well as I Thought

Apparently, Saturday when we got the news, was the numb stage of grief. Yesterday started the anger stage (which remains) and today is definitely starting the sad and for some reason anxious stage.

I really want to have another child. I'm afraid if we only have Conor, I will smother him with my love. I need to spread out all the attention and affection I have to give or it will be too much for one little boy to grow up healthy. And because we are not made of money nor covered by insurance, I feel like we need to be very calculated in what we do next.

One option we are seriously considering is going to a fertility inclinic on the west coast. They have outstanding success rates for women of my age and for problems like what I have. It's not convenient and it is likely to be a bit more expensive. However, it is also significantly likely to be more successful.

I really just want to have one or two "good tries" and this last experience does not seem like a try at all. If the path for us does not lead to a child, then I will eventually accept it. But I feel like we really have to TRY before I can say we've gotten there. And I just don't feel like we have.

Zero

Nothing made it through the night.

We'll be setting up a meeting at the end of the week with the RE.

I'm sad, but I'm ok. I may sound like a self-deluding moron, but I do believe the end of this path is going to be good. It's just not at a good place right now.

Not Good

We only have 4 eggs to work with. We won't even know until tomorrow if any of them fertilize.

I know I'm supposed to be all "the right thing will happen when it's supposed to happen." Nonetheless, I am very sad.

Still Working

Yesterday, a colleague approached me and said, "You look really good. Your skin looks beautiful. I can tell you are feeling much better."

"Thank you for noticing! I'm using some new skin products now, especially this new primer, Lorac Aquaprime, which is fantastic!! Thank you so much."

"Umm. No. It's your health. Makeup can't do that. Your skin is too smooth and bright."

Oh, OK. Sure. That's the whole point of having acid eat off the dead skin cells on my face every day and using this AMAZING new primer (much better than the Revlon one I was using) is to make my skin smootha and bright. But, sure. I am healthier than I was a few months ago. So, uh, yeah.

The eggs are looking goodish. We're in double digits. Not high double digits, but over 10. The scoop is that not all of them may be viable, but we'll see.

I'll let you know what I know when I know it.