How Big Am I?

"Honey, do you know how I can tell my belly is really, really big?"

"Because you can't get into the bathroom closet anymore?"

"Nope, that's not it."

"Because you can't wear my large pajamas and you can only wear my XL pajamas if the drawstring is not tied?"

"Nope, that's not it."

"Becuase of the gravitaional pull, there are small objects orbiting your belly?"

"Nope, that's not it!"

"Because there are tides in Conor's bath water when you walk by?"

"Nope, that's not it!!"

"Then how can you tell that your belly is really, really big?"

"Because I feel like this picture makes my butt and thighs look thin.  The enormous proportion of my belly is throwing off my body image!"