Sunday, January 27, 2008

Winter Squash*

I had my first mammogram on Friday, as part of my pre-IVF protocol. Although it felt as though the the mammographer was trying to actually pull my boobs off of my chest, it wasn't as painful as I anticipated it to be.

Of course, I anticipated it to be incredibly painful and, in actuality, it only really hurt. The more startling part was the conversation I was having with the mammographer.

"So how has your day been?" she asked as she grapped my breast and put in on a plate.

"Ok. I didn't get hardly any work done," I told her. She laughed at my little joke and then proceeded to squash my breast flat giving as many turns on machine's knobs until my skin was translucent.

Or maybe she laughed maniacally, and then squashed my boob flat.

It doesn't matter. It's over and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought.

*Oh, and if you don't know the reference in the title, check this out. Even stranger, the mammographer fully knew about the blog and this particular entry.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Lovely Turn of Phrase

To Dave, after showing him the pretty necklace I bought at The Boulevard at NoDa, "I'm going to try to be a little bit more shit-giving about my appearance."

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

A New Link to a Legend

"You know, Heath Ledger is going to go down as the Jimmy Dean of his generation. Except it was like drugs instead of fast cars. That's the vice of this age."

"Jimmy Dean?"

"Oh. Um. James Dean."

"Yeah, he's not really known as a sausage."

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Checking In

This is only a quick blog to let you know I'm still here.

I have an amazing headache and I'm waiting for Dave to come home from his spring health HR class. (Love the class, miss him at night)

Conor is doing a great job getting himself dressed in the morning. That's the good news. The bad news is that it takes a boatload of cajoling and threatening and general wringing of the hands to get him to do it. Tonight he booted me out of this room so "I can do this myself and no one can bother me!!"

I pointed out that we would LOVE for him to do this in the morning without the currently required audience to cheer every leg-in-pants or correctly buttoned hole.

Unfortunately, patience is not my strong suit and I have to sit on my hands and purse my lips to keep myself from bowling him over to do it myself. Dave, at this point, is not much better.

This does NOT have to do with my headache, but you would think so, eh?

Have I mentioned Baby No? I'll have to talk about that in the future.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Much Better

As our son runs around the kitchen waving pillows and playing hockey, "Mommy, Daddy! You're the crappers!!"

Daddy: The crappers???

Conor: Yes! The crappers!!!

Mommy: What does that mean?

Conor, dropping the pillows, and demonstrating by putting his hands together: You crap your hands!!

Ahh. Indeed.

Friday, January 18, 2008


Well, I guess the good news is that we know our son can actually throw a full on, screaming, crying, drooling, thrashing, naked 30 minute tantrum.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Storm Watch 2008

DA Da dum.......

Snow! Snow!!! We've just had 1 inch of snow!!

Remember way back in November and our trip to frigid Rockford? There was a snow "storm" there too. The big difference on the Rockford trip is that the impending snow was not the lead story on all the news media. And when planning our outings, when we mentioned that it was going to snow, folks would simply respond, albeit with a slightly confused look, "OK. I'll dress a little warmer."

Here on the other hand, it has been building to a frenzy for the last 3 days. If you're not from the south, you may think I'm kidding, but it has been the lead story in the newspaper, on the radio, and on the hyper-graphic, menacing music TV news coverage.

DA Da Dum.....

And I am SO A PART OF IT!!! I am so pathetic that I could barely get to sleep last night thinking about the snow!! And I kept waking up and pulling the blinds back so I could see if it was snowing or not. Of course, sleeping in a tiny bedroom has its advantages: I barely had to move my hand out of the covers to pull the blinds back to look out. And when I finally saw all the beautiful snow in the branches, my next set of obsessive dreams was whether daycare would be closed and if so, whether the university would be closed.

The university NEVER closes. Well, that's a lie. They close at the last minute when people are already driving to school. I've had students sliding down their driveways trying to make it to class only to finally scale the hill and find out they can go back home.

Until this year: The university closed early and closed for the day. We've had much, much, much worse storms and the U has stayed open.

I don't for sure know why, but I'm going to attribute this change to the university's new family friendly environment. With more women faculty who are usually part of working couples, and who often have children, when the schools close, but the university doesn't, there are real problems. Now, for today at least, there are not.

We're going to enjoy Conor's first real snow "storm" in Charlotte. (If only it would stop raining now)

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Outed by a Three Year Old

Yesterday, when I picked up Conor, I stopped by that day's responses from circle time.

The question: Where Do You Sleep?

Uh-oh, I thought. We are so going to get busted!

Conor's response: My mommy says yes! And then I go sleep with her!!

Yikes!! Now everyone is going to know we are the freaky granola parents who let their children sleep with them.

Then I read William's* response: I sleep in mommy and daddy's bedroom. And sometimes my little brother Brad comes in, too!

And Chantal's response: I sleep in my mommy's bed! She lets me!

And Meegan: I sleep with Mommy and Daddy.

Indeed, 7 of the 9 children reported sleeping in their parent's beds. And I'm sure we all kept it secret (because it's such a no-no!), until we were outed by our children thus showing how incredibly ordinary it is to snuggle with your bunnies in bed.

*Of course, the names have been changed to protect the snuggle bunnies!

Monday, January 14, 2008

5 Years Together

This weekend, Dave and I wrote up our Yearly Things To Do Around the House list. I'm sure most of you just freaked out that people would do such a thing and let me be frank, I'm the one who feels most comfortable with this list. Although the Observer suggests such things as "Check Batteries in Fire Alarms", as owners of a 70 year old house, our list contains such things as "Demolish the Bathroom" and "Kill the Ivy."

What's nice about 4 years of making lists together is how we've grown as a couple. Previously, Dave would add things that I would consider on the immediate weekend to-do list (rake leaves) and I would add a zillion minuscule things to "fix" around the house (reframe pictures). Now we focus on what things we really want to do in the house (Kill the Ivy, Paint the House) and what things can wait for a while (recessed lighting in the living room; new garage doors).

Our little joint list making exercise this year really made me feel like we've grown and grown together as a couple over these last 5 years.

Which makes Saturday night's tug-o-rama with the covers so much more annoying. Let me ask you, gentle reader, how you turn over in your sleep at night? Do you twirl under the covers thus leaving them in their approximate position or do you grab hold and roll yourself in them like a cocoon leaving your bed partners with 1/2 inch of covers left on her side of the bed? Twirling is OBVIOUSLY the more bed partner friendly method of turning over at night and allows all parties to sleep better because one is not waking up with a freezing ass and yanking the covers as hard as she can off her 6'4" sleeping giant of a husband. Just to use some examples, for argument's sake.

In any case, I'm still exhausted and I think I'm getting an arm workout during the night. Or that could be my 2 hours of Ivy Killing on Saturday afternoon.

Oh, and yes. We have checked "Clean and Organize the Closets" off the list already. It's a happy thing! It was actually on last year's list, but still. We've checked off this year's list already!


Thursday, January 10, 2008

I'm sure the Doctor would be Thrilled

Mommy, snuggling with son in bed, noticing her cleavage in an old shirt: Uh-oh. My boobies are falling out.

Son: I have an idea!

Mommy: OK! What is it? (Wondering about the seque after her comment)

Son: I'll get a phone and call the doctor!

Mommy: OK! What are you going to say?

Son: That your boobies are falling down and you need some help.

Mommy: Um. Thanks.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

I Can See Clearly Now...

We have new windows.

Project Warm the House is finally done. They installed our new double hung windows on Monday. (I didn't know what that meant originally, but apparently, each pane of glass has a "partner" and there is also gas in between the two panes.) In any case, it's supposed to make us warmer. Or at least stop the breezes like the one I felt on my neck last week. When the window was closed.

Even better, we can OPEN the windows now. I know, I know, windows are supposed to open, but the ones in our bedroom, family room and kitchen did not. And that could be a problem when I burned food. We'd open the back door beside the kitchen, but it really didn't help clear out the smoke before the fire alarm went off and ADT would call up asking for our password. Unfortunately, the only password I can easily remember is our hostage password and I really don't like giving that one out, essentially inviting the SWAT team over for dinner when I've burnt it already.

In any case, we opened the window in the kitchen this morning, the better to enjoy our 62 degree sunrise. (So not kidding. It's too warm for winter) And we also noted that we actually have a three tier alarm system. First, there is the alarm. Then there are the toys scattered around the house like an obstacle course. We would fully expect that any burglar would trip and fall on Thomas the Tank, Clifford the Big Red Dog ball, or any of a variety of stuffed animals occupying our floor. Finally, there would be Patches. Patches would be able to pin any fallen burglar down licking him to death. Or until the police arrived. Patches has the most vicious bark. He really sounds ferocious. But he only wants to love the people that he meets. Fortunately, most people don't know that. (However, if they knew that all the fight scenes with Lassie involved Lassie actually playing with others and the growls dubbed in, they might not be so afraid.)

School starts tomorrow. Hooray! I'm only being a little bit sarcastic.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Into the 21st Century

Woohoo!! Woohoo!!! WOOOHOO!!!!

That is a textual reenactment of my excitement over our new Netflix subscription. While I have no doubt that many of you have been using Netflix for years, we have just started. And being the movie losers that we are, we have a boatload of movies to catch up on.

And how convenient! We saw our first movie on Saturday (Casino Royale; Daniel Craig.... YUM!) and our second movie has arrived today. Honestly, I feel like a grown up now.

We're going to watch movies. In our own home. Without commercials.

We're pretty psyched about that.

Friday, January 04, 2008


We've had a really hard time getting Conor to wear his mittens at school. Considering the cold snap we're having, it's been very frustrating.

Then yesterday, at school, I saw that all the other kids were wearing gloves. And this morning on the way to school, Conor told Dave that he hated the mittens and promised to wear gloves like Daddy's once we got them. Then his teacher confirmed that "mittens" are considered by the class to be what little boys wear and big boys wear gloves.

He's been embarrassed about wearing some of this clothes and I've been too stupid to figure it out. Being a Big Boy is a Big Deal to our little guy. And I feel really guilty. I am an old hag, but I still have times when I realize I'm not wearing what everyone else is (e.g., mother-of-the-bride outfits at a wedding when I am not), and I feel so self-conscious.

Ugh. This one really pokes at me. We're going glove shopping over the weekend and we're going to let Conor pick out the ones he wants.

And in other news, yes, I've been following the Britney Breakdown today. Bless her heart. She's been spiraling downhill for a while and I really hope they keep her in the hospital until she can function sanely again. Looking at those pictures of her in the ambulance and it's clear she is not sane. Does she even have any clothes on? Thank goodness, too, that she didn't harm her boys. I hope this is her chance to get some real help and get it back together. I'm not a fan of hers, but watching anyone lose his or her mental health is pretty sad.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

The Winter of Our Ill Content

At lunch, a friend of mine turned to me and said "When did you get all that gray?"

"Ummmm, I just dyed my hair for the wedding we went to! It was a lot worse before, I was looking like the Bride of Frankenstein and no one was denying it. I thought it looked much better now!"

Apparently, it doesn't. I do wonder what my friend would have said in my mother-of-the-bride red jacket/black lace outfit that I wore to the wedding. (I'm noticing a "Bridal" theme here, which I had not intended) Our relatives at the wedding all claimed to think that I was being facetious until I pointed out the 55 year old woman wearing pretty much the same outfit I was. She was looking like a hottie. I was looking like a nottie.

Whatever. It's just really hard to get all excited about shopping at this weight. I feel like I should be able to wear something that doesn't make me look like a walrus, but I have not been able to find such a thing. Plus with the gray and the wrinkles, well, it's just hard to look in the mirror sometimes.

Speaking of things past their prime, I think the fall garden had gone kaput. We had one cold snap earlier this fall, but everything survived. This time, with three days of 30 degree or below temperature*, everything is dying. We did get our one and only broccoli harvest last night and I would like to say IT WAS DELICIOUS! So I shall say it: it was quite tasty. I harvested it about 30 minutes before I cooked it, and even Dave noticed that it tasted completely different from store bought broccoli (and in a good way. Sometimes I have to clarify such things). The garden catalogues just arrived, so we'll start planning for spring. And planting broc a lot earlier next year.

*Dude, it is like Rockford cold around here. It has been COLD!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy 2008: Year of the Baby

Happy New Year!

I am cooking my collard greens and hoppin' john and ready to eat my way into fortune and good luck for 2008.

We had a very nice time in Omaha at my nephew's wedding. It was also not nearly as cold as I thought it was going to be. Yes, the highs only reached into the 20's, but I had bundled myself up so much with thick sweaters and layers of t-shirts that going outside felt refreshing instead of frigid. It was also so dry that my hair was drying within an hour of washing it. In any case, I have decided that temperature is relative. 42 degrees in Charlotte is not 42 degrees in Rockford, IL which is a boatload colder than 25 degrees in Omaha. This logic is why I'm a psychologist and not a physicist.

In other big news, Dave and I have decided that 2008 is the Year of the Baby. This Christmas marked the two year anniversary of our first miscarriage. And although at one point, I thought I could go on forever trying to get pregnant, actually I cannot. We are going to start with traditional IVF in February and should know pretty soon after whether we will get pg and/or whether there will be frosties available for multiple tries. So we expect that if that route is not successful, we will be moving more rapidly down the adoption path by May or June.

What that means to us is that by December if I'm not giving birth, not pregnant or not moving along adoption, we'll be done. Our family will be complete. That is not the worst thing that could happen. We have a fantastic little trio and I am happy with my family. We may be done already. But we are not done with trying.

Except for trying for next month. A pregnancy next month would mean a October due date and while that sounds wonderful, my maternity benefits would suck. If waited for a November due date, I'd have nearly 9 months off. With an October due date, I'd get about 6 weeks. I understand that is what most women get, and personally I think it sucks. I haven't been trying for 2 1/2 years for this next child to barely see him or her before I go back to work.

So there you go! I need to go tend my collards and peas.

Happy New Year to all of us.