Cropdusting

You'd think I'd be referring to yesterday's war declared on slugs and bunnies. However, I'm actually referring to the low flying planes canvasing our 'hood today and aiming to kill those evil cankerworms that inhabit and eat our trees. I grew up in the era of mosquito trucks which sprayed the campgrounds we stayed in and I even recall running behind these trucks and their non-organic pesticides. (Explains a bit, eh?) This, however, is a massive spraying of BT, my favorite organic pesticide, which will cause the cankerworms' bellies to explode. As our local columnist implied , at this point, if the best option involved pointing flamethrowers at our house to kill them, we'd take it.

I thought the planes would go by just once, but they keep coming around. It's Bizarre, folks. But Charlotte apparently has the worst canker worm infestation in North America and if I have to run from my house to my office like a scene from North by Northwest, I'll do it.

Are Guns Organic?

The IVF lab was packed, PACKED, this morning when I went in for my lab work. This would not seem surprising except this morning (depending on when you read this) was Sunday morning. Who knew that infertility clinics that were busy every single day of the week. I guess that ovulation happens all the day. Still it was surprising.

I spent the rest of the day working in the yard and the garden. This spring is really beautiful and I don't know if it's because I'm actually paying attention to it because I'm not working as hard or if we are really getting a nice extended spring this year. I did not mention this, but a couple of weeks ago, Dave and I were featured in the Charlotte Observer for practicing organic techniques in our vegetable garden. (I would link to the story, but it's no longer live). Although one might think the keyword in this story was "organic", truly the most important word is "practicing."

This point was brought home to us when we proudly walked out to survey our organic garden and saw that all our lettuce had been eaten. The two main culprits are slugs and bunnies. Personally, I think the bunnies were responsible for this lettuce-i-cide. (I blame the slugs for what I saw killed today). Being that we had just been featured as presumably being successful organic gardeners, I felt very much like a loser. I then recalled that last year we had really didn't get nearly what we planted because something....some DAMN BUNNY....kept eating our young vegetables.

"A gun. Is a gun organic?" I asked Dave. "If we shot it and ate it, would that be a natural gardening technique?"

Instead, I busted out the Deer and Rabbit repellent and marked around the garden. I'm not really sure it has worked. I'm not 100% convinced it wasn't slugs. However, we left a plate of beer out and didn't catch any slugs (or drunk rabbits), so I'm not sure they are the culprits either. I am spraying the heck out of everything with BT, a bacterium that makes worms stomachs explode. That is helping our cabbage and broccoli, but the bok choi and lettuce are really taking it hard.

I have to be honest that today I was feeling pretty damn rough as a gardener. I'd like to find a hobby thta doesn't make me feel so bad about myself. I feel behind on getting the seeds in and I'm really discouraged that some FREAKING evil animal is eating my seeds. I just want some lettuce. I'd like to actually have a few carrots make it. I HATE whoever ate my cilantro. And I had BETTER get some turnips and beets this year or someone or someTHING is going to pay (Bunny/slug, did you hear that?).

In other more pro-chemical warfare news, since I could not pull up ivy due to my surgery, Dave mowed it down and sprayed it with Round Up. It's Dead. I mean, it is dead dead. Not kinda dead. Not wounded and able to make a comeback. I mean the ivy is finally gone from the side of our house. Some of our greener neighbors say that Round Up is not a bad chemical because it becomes inert as soon as it touches the soil. Still. I was once again discouraged.

I can tell you right now that if I don't get some lettuce this year, I will seriously consider some chemicals in our garden. I don't mind hard labor. But when there are not fruits of my labor, something has got to give.

Bye-Bye Nap, Bye-Bye Belly Button

Conor is giving up his nap. We first figured that out recently after we'd put him down and gone outside to do some work and came back to find that Conor's utility steps had been moved around the kitchen and cookies were missing. Being delusional, we hoped that was a one time problem.

Then last weekend, Dave came in to find Conor heading towards our room with a green sharpie to draw on some art he had hung on our wall. (At a child's eye-level and with lots of tape and so damn cute we took three pictures of it). Fortunately, he had bypassed all the knives, scissors and razor blades and focused only on an ink sharpie. Nonetheless, our days of putting him to bed and doing chores as we rely on him actually sleeping are gone.

Bye-bye nap. We really loved you.

I continue to get better, but there are good days and bad days. I went to campus on Monday and was shaking by the time I made it to my office. During my lab meeting with my students, I was sweating and having a hard time focusing. The vast majority of my colleagues have been incredible helpful including my "neighbor" in the office beside mine to volunteered to drive me to my car given the gray, ashen color of my face on Wednesday. (Being a university, one has to walk everywhere. Being I am cheap and won't buy the faculty pass, I park in the student lot and have to walk over 1/2 mile to get to my office. Easy when I'm feeling normal. Slow now).

Teaching has been a blast considering I have to sit down to teach. I'm a pacer with arms and hands that shoot out from my body when I get excited about a topic. Teaching while sitting is annoying. But I still cannot stand for any length of time, so I have to sit and teach. Bleah.

I'm also developing a bit of annoying insomnia that is coming on after I've slept about 4 hours or so. Last night I was obsessing about a senior colleague who has some sway over my career who showed up at my office door on Monday and wanted to know why I still feel bad. That's a quote, "So why do you still feel bad?" I don't know, doofwad. I was under general anaesthesia and had my guts ripped open by a velociraptor, umm, I mean surgeon, just 10 days ago and maybe I'm still feeling a wee bit weak.

This comment bothers me more than the other comments from my colleagues advising me to really take it easy, to stay off campus, and to err on the side of caution gives me comfort. It plays into my fears of being woussy, which is what caused me to go to campus on Weds when I knew damn well I shouldn't and frightened myself and my peers with how crappy I looked (and felt).

In any case, it is very frustrating for me to go from thinking a 45 minute run is a slack off, easy run to realizing that if I was walking any slower, I'd be standing still. I need to get the garden in and I know planting is fine, it's the prepping the soil that scares me. I've got at least half the garden left to prep and Dave has his own chores to do (including finsihing Conor's captain's bed) so the child can move up off a mattress on the floor.

In any case, I'm annoyed. Oh! And I forgot the reason for the second part of this blog's title. My bandages came off my stitches, and now I can fully see...that my belly button is completely tweaked! It used to be so cute! And now it's about half its normal size and squished on the left. It's going to become a lint trap instead of the pretty, open, clean belly button it once was. I'm very sad that my belly button is now so ugly. It's sadly one of the few parts of my body I have always liked. (One might note that in this house, my favorite picture of me as a bride does not include my head) So the one part of my body I have always liked and its ruined.

Phhht.

I'm not really in that bad of a mood, but I am crankier than I'd like to be. I'm ready to be normal again.

Well, I Didn't See That Coming

I really need to update my blog more frequently so I can blog about the things I really want to blog about and not all these WTF moments.

For example, I am falling in love with my house again: our two cherry trees are in full, massive pink bloom and along with the 40 jonquil bulbs I planted last fall signal that spring is on the way. I am very excited to be back in the yard. I even enjoyed the Ivy Killing a few weeks ago in which I did a victory dance in my war gloating in my power from pulling up 20% of the massive field of ivy beside the house. Then the next day, I could not move as nearly every muscle in my body protested. We figure the Ivy got its revenge.

And the beauty products, YES! Things are working. First, I've been using the regenerist for a couple of months and think my skin feels and looks smoother. I've also started using "Primer" (from Revlon, although the book mentions some from Sephora). This is supposed to tighten and lighten my face. You can ever wear it alone. I think it does, but the real improvement has been switching to Revlon's Age Defying make up from its Stay-all-day based foundaton. Oh, heavens, is there a difference in how fewer wrinkles there are. Yes. Definitely try that.

And the best youth producer of all is having my hair highlighted. Years and years have been taken off my appearance from that alone. I can't afford the salons, so I've found someone who s local and independent. I'm not sure she used the exact color I wanted versus she used the color that bleaching my hair came out too. Nonetheless, it looks So Much Better. (Lightening one's hair is one of the biggies for How Not to Look Old. Get the book.)

So those blogs entries have been rolling around my head looking for the right time to come out in witty and profound glory. Not throwaway paragraphs in the above. But there you go.

Dave and I have actually come up with a couple of titles for this blog. I opted for the above, but we might well have used:

Supporting the Medical Community in Charlotte

First, Conor's update. He has continued to have diarrhea off and on for about two weeks. (Conor would like to you know that is a Long Word) The school has become increasingly worried because he's been crying and not following rules. None of that is typical so after one particularly horrible morning for Conor at school, we took him to the pediatrician. Apparently, his bowel has not recovered from his first bout of diarrhea, so all that dairy in the form of milk and cheese we've been giving him has not been so good. Oopsie Daisy! We've cut back on all cheese and are giving him lactaid and remain only with a few "juicy toots" throughout the day, but not bad poopies.

I would like to point out what a good phrase "juicy toot" is. For example, "I don't give a juicy toot what you think about that" would be an excellent rejoinder. Feel free to use it on your own.

So, Conor is doing better. I, on the other hand, well, do you remember the last time I got the flu? Well, I can't find the post, but the last time I had the flu they found a sinus infection that filled 75% of my head. This time, the problem occupies a different region, although I'm sure many folks think have my head up my a$$.

Ok....the family is up and I need to finish this later.

5 Years Together

This weekend, Dave and I wrote up our Yearly Things To Do Around the House list. I'm sure most of you just freaked out that people would do such a thing and let me be frank, I'm the one who feels most comfortable with this list. Although the Observer suggests such things as "Check Batteries in Fire Alarms", as owners of a 70 year old house, our list contains such things as "Demolish the Bathroom" and "Kill the Ivy."

What's nice about 4 years of making lists together is how we've grown as a couple. Previously, Dave would add things that I would consider on the immediate weekend to-do list (rake leaves) and I would add a zillion minuscule things to "fix" around the house (reframe pictures). Now we focus on what things we really want to do in the house (Kill the Ivy, Paint the House) and what things can wait for a while (recessed lighting in the living room; new garage doors).

Our little joint list making exercise this year really made me feel like we've grown and grown together as a couple over these last 5 years.

Which makes Saturday night's tug-o-rama with the covers so much more annoying. Let me ask you, gentle reader, how you turn over in your sleep at night? Do you twirl under the covers thus leaving them in their approximate position or do you grab hold and roll yourself in them like a cocoon leaving your bed partners with 1/2 inch of covers left on her side of the bed? Twirling is OBVIOUSLY the more bed partner friendly method of turning over at night and allows all parties to sleep better because one is not waking up with a freezing ass and yanking the covers as hard as she can off her 6'4" sleeping giant of a husband. Just to use some examples, for argument's sake.

In any case, I'm still exhausted and I think I'm getting an arm workout during the night. Or that could be my 2 hours of Ivy Killing on Saturday afternoon.

Oh, and yes. We have checked "Clean and Organize the Closets" off the list already. It's a happy thing! It was actually on last year's list, but still. We've checked off this year's list already!

Woohoo!

The Winter of Our Ill Content

At lunch, a friend of mine turned to me and said "When did you get all that gray?"

"Ummmm, I just dyed my hair for the wedding we went to! It was a lot worse before, I was looking like the Bride of Frankenstein and no one was denying it. I thought it looked much better now!"

Apparently, it doesn't. I do wonder what my friend would have said in my mother-of-the-bride red jacket/black lace outfit that I wore to the wedding. (I'm noticing a "Bridal" theme here, which I had not intended) Our relatives at the wedding all claimed to think that I was being facetious until I pointed out the 55 year old woman wearing pretty much the same outfit I was. She was looking like a hottie. I was looking like a nottie.

Whatever. It's just really hard to get all excited about shopping at this weight. I feel like I should be able to wear something that doesn't make me look like a walrus, but I have not been able to find such a thing. Plus with the gray and the wrinkles, well, it's just hard to look in the mirror sometimes.

Speaking of things past their prime, I think the fall garden had gone kaput. We had one cold snap earlier this fall, but everything survived. This time, with three days of 30 degree or below temperature*, everything is dying. We did get our one and only broccoli harvest last night and I would like to say IT WAS DELICIOUS! So I shall say it: it was quite tasty. I harvested it about 30 minutes before I cooked it, and even Dave noticed that it tasted completely different from store bought broccoli (and in a good way. Sometimes I have to clarify such things). The garden catalogues just arrived, so we'll start planning for spring. And planting broc a lot earlier next year.

*Dude, it is like Rockford cold around here. It has been COLD!

The Fall Garden

Now that there are actually things growing in the garden (in November!! Who woudda thunk?!), I have a lot more interest in being out there and doing things. I really don't know if the broccoli, cauliflower or brussel sprouts are going to ever produce edible things, but they sure make the garden seem less bleak. And the Swiss chard is still doing great, even after our first real frosts and freezes last week. I think next year, I'm definitely going to plant them closer together and hopefully have chard anytime I want it.

I chopped down all the asparagus ferns this weekend too. I still don't know how much I can or should trim them during the summer because after we decide to let them "go to seed" they get huge. Like seven-foot-aparagus-fern huge. (I still want to say that if you live in a place where asparagus can grow, you should start your own bed this spring.)

I moved the artichoke a couple of weeks ago. I had planted it near the tarragon bush before I learned they were mortal enemies, sort of the Hatfield and McCoy of vegetables and herbs. Indeed, the tarrago killed one of the artichoke bushes and was destroying the closer half of the surving one. I'm still not sure this one is going to make it, but it has a better chance now than it did with it's slowly but surely march towards death.

We've also planted pansies in the backyard for the first time. I'm hoping we'll get to enjoy our own private display of color. And I hope the ground cover we planted in the front will provide some color and save us some twice-yearly time with the annuals.

This is one of the few times that I've understood just how active fall can be gardening. I hope I have something to show for it. Although, the most important thing I think that's going to come out of this is that I'm not ending up the year hating all the things I've killed over the last 7 months.

I bet that's why they encourage fall gardening. Anything green seems hopeful.

Oh, Just Lots of Things

We had another "event" this month. I will probably refer to this as the Month Where I Used A Gazillion HPTs. I took a test on Monday afternoon and got the faintest of faintest lines on my First Response Early Response (FRER) test. In case you were wondering, that was 9 dpo, so it was very early and certainly reasonable to have a faint line.

However the next morning, 10 dpo, it was still way too faint and I knew it wasn't going to stick. Nonetheless, I took another test Tuesday afternoon with an Accu-clear (which I've later found out was panned on Peeonastick.com) and still had that faint line. By this point, I'd broken down and let Dave inspect the sticks, too, instead of saving the test for a big "You're Going to Be a Daddy" surprise, which one might admit is pretty foolish at this point. In any case, he saw a line, too.

And BECAUSE I AM PATHETICALLY OPTIMISTIC, I took another Accu-clear test on Weds morning, 11 dpo, and finally got a faint but clearly visible positive test line. It was gone by Thursday morning (12 dpo) when I peed again on a FRER. I won't even mention the three tests I took Weds afternoon with one positive (FRER) and two negative (Answer, New Choice/Dollar Store).

I am my own HPT testing lab. And I'm sticking with FRER because I think they are still the most sensitive. However, if I was really pregnant, then all of them would be flaming with two hot pink lines right now and it wouldn't really matter which test I used.

So there. Bleah and crap. I continue on my quest to be the oldest miscarrying freak of a woman in these United States this year.

In other news, we have an evil bunny indulging him/herself in a fresh vegetable garden buffet every night. It's amazing how this rabbit can eat the insides of a tomato clean out and leaving a soon-to-be rotting hull on the vine. Oh, what a talented bunny haunts our garden. At least it's not a rat. (And I just realized that I didn't blog about our rat problem from the spring. Hmmmm. Go figure)

I like not this bunny. And I like not our dog who lets this bunny run free in our garden. It is shocking that Patches lets the bunny roam, much less live, considering the incident with the bird and the other bunny. I know he's an older dog now but he still chases squirrels around the yard, and God(dess) forbid that Scarlett should do anything out of the ordinary because he'll rat her out in tail wag. Speaking of rats, I should have realized his hunting days were over when he did nothing as a rat ran across his paws and under the deck earlier this spring (see Rat Problem, above). Yes, nothing more than a quizzical look from our bird killing dog should have been my first clue that He Has Changed.

We try and try to explain to him: Scarlett, good! Don't bite or bark at. Birds, good! Let live!! Rats, bad. Attack! Bunnies in garden, bad, Bad, BAD! KILL BUNNY, KILL!

And on a big change of subjects but more on my mind that evil bunnies, I believe we are going with Catholic Social Services for our domestic adoption. I promise you that soon I will devote an entire blog on how FREAKIN' confusing adoption is, the range of prices that are out there and why, and why we are making the decisions that we are making. I keep making these offhanded comments about what we are doing on this adoption journey, but each decision point we get to is really, really hard.

But enough for this Friday post. I wonder why I always blog my longest on Fridays because no one comes around to read it. If you are here on Friday, well, thank you for stopping by!! I do miss having your company on Fridays.

Have a good weekend, y'all!

Oh, one last thing: it is one of my biggest pet peeves when people misspell y'all. It is the contraction of You All. You All: Y'all. It is NOT the contraction of Ya All. What the hell is that?? Ya All? Ya'll?!?!?

The only time the "ll" goes by itself is when you are contracting: You All Will. That becomes Y'all'll. Yes, that is a word. We use it all the time down here when we are inquiring about others' plans in the future. "Y'all'll be at the park on Sunday? We will, too! See you there!"

Weeds and Beats

I agree with Barbie2B's comment yesterday that weeding can be so addictive. As both my neighbor and I headed out of the house last weekend, we agreed that mindless work with instant gratification is a very fun chore indeed.

As for the asparagus, yes, an asparagus bed lasts for about 20 years. You plant it one year. Let it grow untouched the next. And then starting the 3rd year, you have fresh, young, tender asparagus shooting out the ground out at you. I never knew asparagus was this sweet. Also, once the crop has ended, you get pretty asparagus ferns for the rest of the summer which make a nice border around a house or some such thing.

And in more baby relevant news, the fetal heart monitor arrived a day early and OF COURSE, I ripped open the box and lay down flat to hear what I could hear. Which first scared me. I could easily pick up a heartbeat, but it was very slow---only 100 bpm. This is not a good heartbeat of a fetus at this age.

Then I realized it was my own fool heart beat in my stomach. (This was verified by the sample sounds on one of the fetal monitor sites I found).

Still, I couldn't find the baby's. Yes, Ema wrote at exactly the moment that I was starting to search that it is still early to hear a heart beat at 9 weeks 5 days. And even more so, with my tilted uterus, it's going to take longer than it ought to anyway.

HOWEVER, after dinner and with a full bladder and about 20 minutes of searching, I did hear something. I only heard it for a few seconds and I lost it when I shouted to Dave that I had found it. But it wasn't my heartbeat and it wasn't my tummy gurgling. It was a very fast but soft clapping. And I really do believe it was the little peanut inside waving.

I couldn't find it again, but I think it's still too early. But I did hear something and it's hard to make up a sound like that.

((((((sigh)))))))))

Smelly Belly Full of Jelly

Actually, I am planning on talking about my belly and not the nickname I give my son's belly right before I start kissing, snorting, and eating on it.

I am 9 weeks 5 days today, and I have a belly. Honestly, I've had a belly for a while with the extra weight I've been carrying around, but since the stomach flu/sinus infection debacle I'd actually lost about 10 lbs and only gained back 3 or 4. So this belly is not the usually belly I've been trying to camouflage in my clothes. I know it's way too early, but I've had this same belly before particularly during the first miscarriage, which I could link to, but it's too depressing.

For the most part, I'm not freaking out over this pregnancy. I have my moments, but then I meditate and honestly believe that everything is going to be an A-OK, normal, healthy pregnancy. Of course, I cannot help but add, I really do hope so.

Folks, I know I have been letting you down on the ol' blog front. I've been wanting to talk about our adorable son and our (quite literal) hand signals for communicating while he's nursing. (Raise your hand if you had a good nights sleep. Raise your hand if you had dreams. Raise your hand if you want a bagel. Raise your hand if Daddy can eat your toe sausages!!!!!) Yes, a small toddler hand goes up at nearly every one of those commands.

I've wanted to talk about our 250 year old willow oak that was eaten bald by canker worms and we're really concerned if it's going to make it. We just hired a tree guy to fertilize it and we really hope it will live. (We didn't put enough goop on the tree band to stop the worms....an easy mistake when an army of worms were going after it).

I want to talk about the amazing asparagus that we're harvesting this year after planting it two years ago and to encourage every single one of you to start your own asparagus bed this year.

I want to talk about my old lady self and how after weeding this weekend, I can still stand up on my sore legs and waddle around the hall. It's PATHETIC how much pain I'm in from weeding.

I've wanted to make every one of those stories witty and clever and highly entertaining. But I am TOO DAMN BUSY. School is out in a few weeks and GOOD LORD it is not soon enough. I am being slapped silly by papers and research and meetings and just every freakin' thing.

So, there. Now you know. And tomorrow my fetal heart rate monitor that I've rented should arrive in the mail and I can have a little bit of relief my hearing this little one's heart when I go to bed at night.

I hope not to take another week before I blog again.

Worm Poop

Spring has sprung around here. The trees are turning green. The dogwoods are busting out in white and the azaelas are countering with their gorgeous pink. Tulips are giving their last hurrah and a whole variety of hostas, spring flowers and ground covers are echoing their own versions of green, pink and white.

And then we have the worm poop.

The canker worms are HORRIBLE this year despite all the tree banding we did last fall. I've found some on my newspaper, in my hair, on the washing machine and even making webs out the front door. I don't know if it's the warm weather or our mini-drought, but walking outside is crunchy. Shoes are not optional. We could actually hear the worm poop dropping out of the trees on Monday as the canker worms (inch worms really) chewed through all the new spring foliage. So far, our trees are not looking too damaged, but they have got to be everywhere. Hopefully, tonights cold weather will freeze those evil green bugs and show them who is really the boss of tree life. (I have no idea what that means: mother nature? Late spring frosts? Me as I climb the trees and pinch every last one of them to death with my woolen gloves???)

If you don't live in an area infested with canker worms, you have have no idea just how much worm poop can be a natural and substantial part of your life. Really. Worm poop. That is just bizarre.

Ahhhhh, Spring

This is my favorite time of the year. Our cherry trees have started blooming out front, the jonquils are up and brightly yellow and the narcissus are getting ready to start strut their stuff.

But that's not why I really like spring. The reason I really like spring, now that I'm a homeowner, is because everything is all "plan" right now and no "failure." I've designed the garden, ordered the seeds, and just planted the onions. The garden is all barren, tilled and full of potential. The weather is cool and there are no weeds. That's the part of gardening that just beats me to the ground. Weeds make me think that I'm a failure and reminds me that my garden will never live up to the potential I see in it at the beginning of March.

And yes, that is as depressing as it sounds come the hot, humid days of the end of July when I hate even looking at my garden. I forget that each year I get a little better at stopping the weeds from growing. Last year, the much helped. This year, we are planting everything a little closer together interspersing the basil and cilantro with the peppers and eggplant, the parsley with the peas (followed by the bok choi) so that the weeds just won't have a place to grow.

And can I tell you about the excitement, the sheer thrill, I had this weekend when we bought a new 10" tilling fork!? Oh my WORD! I could not stop talking about it!!! Dave tilled and then went through the beds with the fork and we were getting waaaaay down to the clay! Even now, that sentence makes my breath quicken with excitement. Our gardening philosophy comes from the Vegetable Gardener's Bible where the point is deep cultivation and wide plant beds. The author also "cheats" and tells you how long seeds last, so I can overbuy seeds this year and save them for the next 1-3 years.

So spring is all plan and potential right now. And I love it. Summer, I know, is show and tell-me-how-I-didn't-do-it-as-well-as-I-thought-I-was-going-to. But we're in spring now. And I'm pathetically optimistic on how THIS YEAR, it's all going to be a lot better.

Speaking of pathetic optimism, things are going better with the Big Boy Bed. We're sticking to our nighttime routine even when things get a little Blair Witch Project. I'm not even going to explain that right now, but let's just say there were 5 minutes of crying last night and when I went back to his room Conor was standing in the corner by his door making me look very much like the Blair Witch. And last night was one of the best nights in a week!! (The sad part is my cheering that at least he hadn't opened the door and come out into the hall! Good job, Conor!!)

We also did some math (!) and figured out that one of the reasons bedtime has sucked recently is that we're trying to put him down before he's ready: he doesn't need 12 hours of sleep per night any more, especially with his 2 hour nap at school. We really don't want to keep him up later, so we're going to start getting him up a little earlier for school. We'll see how that goes.

So there you go. Can I once again brag about my amazing home office with its sunny yellow walls covered in amazing sun from my gorgeous windows and French doors and the amazing view of my garden pure of weeds? Well, apparently, yes I can.