Cuteness and Scams

Have I mentioned how much of a flirt Bridget is? Actually, she's probably just more of an extrovert. In any case, she loves seeing what is going on around her. If I am feeding here and there is any activity in the room, she takes a sip and strains to look over her shoulder to see if people are still there and they are doing anything interesting. She also engages everyone she sees with smiles and laughs.

Christopher, like his big brother before him, always values the boob first. A parade with dancing monkeys and singing elephants could be going by, but if there's a chance to eat, he's going to take it.

Ok. That's about as creative as I can get on that part. They are painting like fiends at the house today. We're going to Lowes and getting the twins' closet system and a few other things. Hopefully, we can install that stuff tomorrow.

As far as scams go, I do want to talk about falling for one--the first time in forever. While bfing the twins and watching TV a few months ago, I saw something about a free trial for wrinkle reducers. Although I did not get that exact one, I did see about the Dermitage free trial. Although I know my brain has been oxygen deprived, I did not see anything else about buying any other products. Well, guess what. Yesterday, $100 worth of products arrived based on the "subscription" I signed up for. I cancelled my "subscription" today, but I have to keep and pay for the additional products they just sent me. I am definitely not the first person to call and complain--in fact, they told me where the information was on the payment page (on the absolute bottom)--not anywhere on the info about the trial. So they have covered their legal bases, but, in my opinion, they are still deceptive in their practices.

I hope this helps some other people in making a decision about using this product.

Further goals today: dye hair, take shower, move boxes, pack boxes.

Happy Naps

Today was one of the few days that both twins have had good, substantial naps today. They had a good 2 hours this morning and a good 1 1/2 to 2 hours this afternoon.

((((sigh))))

It's so nice when they are not whining from their lack of sleep. That said, I think my daughter needs to better understand that no one is making her roll over. If she doesn't want to roll over, she doesn't have to! Rolling over and landing on her belly apparently pisses her off to no end. No one has any expectations of her rolling, yet she continues to roll and blame us for it. Can't wait until puberty!!

We've also decided to delay our move into the new house. I need to tell my mom and dad who are helping us move, and if they are reading this before I talk to them--we're delaying the move. There are issues with letting the floor completely cure before we move in and it would just be a good idea to wait a few more days.

Oh, yes. Now I remember what I wanted to blog about this morning. This idea probably came to me about the time I was getting dressed. Yes, my post twin pregnancy body. Honestly, I can get back into most of the clothes I was wearing before I got pg last year, but nothing fits the same.

First, and most shockingly to me, I really miss my A-cup boobs. As Dave pointed out with wide eyes and up and down hand motions upon seeing an old picture of me, I was "flat, flat, FLAT as a board! There was nothin' there!!" This cannot be said about me now and I cannot tell you how surprised I am to miss my former flat-as-a-board like figure. Clothes fit better and it's easier to run around.

Second, my belly is huge. In fact, I think I might have diastasis recti, or basically my stomach muscles have stretched too far apart. Besides the lovely pot belly that I can't get rid of despite being at a decent weight, my back and shoulders are all tweaked and I'm in pain most of the time. I'm hoping the doctor will provide some advice if I really have it. But truly, my body shows the what I've done with my life the last couple of years. And it's ruined my chances of ever being a Victoria Secret model. Just saying.

My Hair

This week, I went to have my hair highlighted again. I decided early on in the Make Anita Pretty process that I would shop around and try to find the best person to color my hair. I'll still the the Ouidad process done at a local salon, but I'd like to find a cheap colorist to color my hair. When I was in grad school, I had a woman who rented a booth at a local salon who charged me between $40 and $60 to cut and color my hair. I'm paying twice as much now (at least!) and the results have just never been as good as her.

So in February, I went to someone who owned her own shop to have some highlights put in. She just added some in and it looked nice. However, she just used straigh bleach (not clorox, but certainly not a color) and I thought it was too light for my hair.

So I went to someone else this week. I told him I thought the straight bleach look was too much for my dark hair. I pointed to a curl and said that's the color I want throughout my hair. He either 1) only heard that I thought the highlights were too light or 2) uses one particular procedure (a toner) which colors over the highlights and decided that's what he had to do.

In any case, he removed every and all highlights out of my hair and my hair is back to dark brown. AND I HATED IT. I called him up when I got home and said, I really don't like this can you fix it. So I went back to him yesterday and supposedly added a few more highlights and the toner again. AND I HATE IT. Now instead of dark brown, my hair is medium dark brown. I cannot see any highlights anywhere in my hair. I've cried three times already about how ugly I look. And I can't afford to go somewhere else so soon to have it fixed again. (He didn't charge me the second time for anything except the product, but I felt so guilty I gave him two tips for both colorings).

I cannot stress to you enough about how much I hate the color of my hair right now. I look old. A lot older with this color hair than I did with the bleach I didn't even like. And I don't understand why when I went to him the second time he didn't use the absolute lightest highlights he could to add some light back into my hair?

I HATE MY HAIR. I LOOK UGLY.

And I'm going to be in a wedding in two weeks. And I'm going to Los Angeles two weeks after that. And everyone is going to think I look bad. And in LA, they are going to feel sorry for me.

I honestly don't know if I can take looking in the mirror for three more months and hating what I see. I feel like I'm too old to get this upset about my hair. Nonetheless, I am. And I hate the color of my hair right now.

The Cleanse

I am on the second day of a possible 21 day cleanse. I meant to post this yesterday, but when I passed out from fatigue at 2 pm, well, I didn't get around to it.

This cleanse is the Quantum Wellness Cleanse that both Oprah and Dooce have done. And in all honesty, I didn't know Oprah had done until Dooce started talking about starting it herself.

It is not a fast, or at least what I would think of a fast in a typical sense. Instead, it is supposed to be a "cleanse" to rid the body of toxins. You abstain from sugar, alcohol, gluten (i.e., wheat), animal products (i.e., vegan), and caffeine. The theory is that by not eating these foods, you give your body a break and your body gets to heal a bit.

I'm not sure about the science of that, but I do know, as a psychologist, that a ritualistic event marking the passage from one place to another (maybe unhealthy to healthy eating?) is a useful thing. So in that way, a cleanse is a good thing, a nice marker to start being a healthy eater.

The weird thing is that I have lots of perspectives and ideas about this cleanse, but I'm too freakin' tired and unfocused to do so! I'm not as bad as I was yesterday, but I'm definitely a bit "off" (more than usual!). And it's not because I'm not eating enough or I'm not eating enough protein. We're eating a substantial amount of food, although with a 6'4" beanpole in the house, we're having to double the recipes. I'm also eating a sufficient portion of protein through tofu, beans, nuts, etc.

However, I definitely feel different. That sort of freaks me out. What is it in the (sometimes) minimal caffeine, minimal sugar, wheat, cheese/eggs/dairy that I eat or the alcohol that drink that causes such changes in my body that my body is tweaked when it's gone? That is weird and it bothers me.

Dooce and one of her friends stopped the Cleanse after 8 days because they both got so sick with sinus problems. I have subsequently seen that if you're really not eating well (i.e., eating the regular American diet), you should only eliminate one item for the cleanse--like just the sugar or the alcohol or the non-vegan parts. Otherwise, it could shock your body into a "health crisis" as your body tries to shed all your toxins at one time. After learning that, I have decided I will now eat vegeterian meats that are not vegan (they have some animal product in them, usually a milk byproduct). And you'd be stunned how much food that opens up!

So, there we are. I'm taking this one day at a time. I'm not sure I will go the whole 21 days and if I don't, I think I still will have done enough to pass the "ritual" of moving from bad to good eating. It's just so weird to be eating the same amount of calories and a relatively similar proportion of proteins and carbs and having my body freak out so much. That, to me, feels like it's says something.

Still I think that if eating healthy makes you really sick, you should eat healthy more often

Still Working

Yesterday, a colleague approached me and said, "You look really good. Your skin looks beautiful. I can tell you are feeling much better."

"Thank you for noticing! I'm using some new skin products now, especially this new primer, Lorac Aquaprime, which is fantastic!! Thank you so much."

"Umm. No. It's your health. Makeup can't do that. Your skin is too smooth and bright."

Oh, OK. Sure. That's the whole point of having acid eat off the dead skin cells on my face every day and using this AMAZING new primer (much better than the Revlon one I was using) is to make my skin smootha and bright. But, sure. I am healthier than I was a few months ago. So, uh, yeah.

The eggs are looking goodish. We're in double digits. Not high double digits, but over 10. The scoop is that not all of them may be viable, but we'll see.

I'll let you know what I know when I know it.

Apparently, Some of the Advice Works

Yesterday was the last day of classes for this school year.

HOOORAY!!! YIPPEE!!! OH JOY! OH JOY! OH JOY!! OMYGOD(DESS) YESYESYESYESYESYES!!!

((ahem))

Besides being THRILLED OUT OF MY SKULL that the last day of classes was here, I realized I had not worn the pretty dress I bought last fall with the express purpose of impressing my students that I actually could look decent. I also had purchased the Appropriate Support Garmet (girdle slip) as recommended by my How Not to Look Like a Used Up Old Hag book. I have to admit that I felt pretty.

I walked into the classroom and everyone oohed and ahhed over my new dress. (Although I do try more on days that I teach, I still think it's obvious that my usual motto for dressing is to Not Be Naked) Then one particularly attractive woman said "Oh my GOSH! You've lost so much weight!! How much weight did you lose?!!?!?"

I replied, "20 lbs??? 30?? Exactly how fat did you think I was? Check minus for you!"

Actually, no I did not say that. It would have been funny. Admit it. And I didn't even say "Girrrrl! I'm wearing a girdle! I haven't lost any weight at all!!!" Normally, I would say that, but I'm trying to be more discreet lately. (ha!) I just said, Oh, I don't know! But I thought this was such a pretty dress!!

And then I thought, good advice, this control slip. I do look nice!

Thank God(dess) for Photoshop

Oh my word. Why didn't anyone tell me about the full set of baggage I've been carrying under my eyes? I had my official headshot made for campus this week. They are doing a feature on my research for the alumni magazine and needed a mugshot, I mean, headshot for the story. Why oh why did I not get this picture made 6 years and 20 pounds ago when I arrived?

I looked like a complete and utter HAG! The photographer assured me that he could help with photoshop and demonstrated by covering up the ginourmous vein on my forehand, my deep crow's feet and even the pores around my nose.

Ummm, thanks, for making me feel so beautiful!

In all honesty, I have rarely felt so ugly.

That said, I'm thrilled about the photoshopped results. I do look a lot younger if not much thinner.

Oh, I haven't shared much about the Not to Look Old efforts. I'm using most all of the Oil of Olay Prescriptives products. I *thought* they were working until I saw the bags under my eyes and the wrinkles around my eyes. I guess that the problem is that I don't grin like a complete fool when I look in the mirror, but I nonetheless cannot help myself in front of a camera.

Oh, joy.

Well, I Didn't See That Coming

I really need to update my blog more frequently so I can blog about the things I really want to blog about and not all these WTF moments.

For example, I am falling in love with my house again: our two cherry trees are in full, massive pink bloom and along with the 40 jonquil bulbs I planted last fall signal that spring is on the way. I am very excited to be back in the yard. I even enjoyed the Ivy Killing a few weeks ago in which I did a victory dance in my war gloating in my power from pulling up 20% of the massive field of ivy beside the house. Then the next day, I could not move as nearly every muscle in my body protested. We figure the Ivy got its revenge.

And the beauty products, YES! Things are working. First, I've been using the regenerist for a couple of months and think my skin feels and looks smoother. I've also started using "Primer" (from Revlon, although the book mentions some from Sephora). This is supposed to tighten and lighten my face. You can ever wear it alone. I think it does, but the real improvement has been switching to Revlon's Age Defying make up from its Stay-all-day based foundaton. Oh, heavens, is there a difference in how fewer wrinkles there are. Yes. Definitely try that.

And the best youth producer of all is having my hair highlighted. Years and years have been taken off my appearance from that alone. I can't afford the salons, so I've found someone who s local and independent. I'm not sure she used the exact color I wanted versus she used the color that bleaching my hair came out too. Nonetheless, it looks So Much Better. (Lightening one's hair is one of the biggies for How Not to Look Old. Get the book.)

So those blogs entries have been rolling around my head looking for the right time to come out in witty and profound glory. Not throwaway paragraphs in the above. But there you go.

Dave and I have actually come up with a couple of titles for this blog. I opted for the above, but we might well have used:

Supporting the Medical Community in Charlotte

First, Conor's update. He has continued to have diarrhea off and on for about two weeks. (Conor would like to you know that is a Long Word) The school has become increasingly worried because he's been crying and not following rules. None of that is typical so after one particularly horrible morning for Conor at school, we took him to the pediatrician. Apparently, his bowel has not recovered from his first bout of diarrhea, so all that dairy in the form of milk and cheese we've been giving him has not been so good. Oopsie Daisy! We've cut back on all cheese and are giving him lactaid and remain only with a few "juicy toots" throughout the day, but not bad poopies.

I would like to point out what a good phrase "juicy toot" is. For example, "I don't give a juicy toot what you think about that" would be an excellent rejoinder. Feel free to use it on your own.

So, Conor is doing better. I, on the other hand, well, do you remember the last time I got the flu? Well, I can't find the post, but the last time I had the flu they found a sinus infection that filled 75% of my head. This time, the problem occupies a different region, although I'm sure many folks think have my head up my a$$.

Ok....the family is up and I need to finish this later.

Lip Scuff

Since I'm currenty on the quest to give a shit, I thought I'd start a new series of posts on some of the products I'm finding useful in not looking like a used up old hag.

So here's the first one: Lip Scuff. I bought mine for the Body Shop a zillion years ago, and it had to be on sale because there's no way I'd pay $11 for it as they are advertising it on amazon.

So, in addition to having it for a zillion years, I've never really used it. Until the chapter on lips in my Don't Look like An Old Hag book.

So, now what I do is every morning before I put on the rest of my face moisturizer, I use the lip scuff (it basically exfoliates the dead lip bits), add a lip moisturizer from Clinique (a freebie that must be 10 years old!), and after I put on whatever makeup I'm going to wear, I add a lip gloss.

I have thin lips. (Chickens have thicker lips thatI) Nonetheless, the lip scuff helps plump them up and keeps them looking polished for most of the morning until lunch. This includes a couple of hot beverages throughout the morning.

So, my advice: go cheap, but it's worth it. My lips appear to be bigger and definitely look healthier.

I give that product a Mother Thing Stamp of Approval.

We'll see what else does or doesn't make it.

And, as for infertility (Why, yes! My infertility is doing fantastic. Thank you for asking), we a probably going not going to start IVF in the upcoming cycle. I am traveling most of March and it just would be too tricky and expensive for us to try. So end of March/beginning of April is when we're starting.

Of course, I realized on the way to work that if we'd pursued adoption last summer, we'd probably be on the way to bringing our child home soon. But we didn't. We may be in that place next year. But we're not there now.

We're still trying on our own, so maybe something will happen beyond the knots and bruises I'm getting now. It goes well with the lip scuff.