Friday, March 21, 2008

Bye-Bye Nap, Bye-Bye Belly Button

Conor is giving up his nap. We first figured that out recently after we'd put him down and gone outside to do some work and came back to find that Conor's utility steps had been moved around the kitchen and cookies were missing. Being delusional, we hoped that was a one time problem.

Then last weekend, Dave came in to find Conor heading towards our room with a green sharpie to draw on some art he had hung on our wall. (At a child's eye-level and with lots of tape and so damn cute we took three pictures of it). Fortunately, he had bypassed all the knives, scissors and razor blades and focused only on an ink sharpie. Nonetheless, our days of putting him to bed and doing chores as we rely on him actually sleeping are gone.

Bye-bye nap. We really loved you.

I continue to get better, but there are good days and bad days. I went to campus on Monday and was shaking by the time I made it to my office. During my lab meeting with my students, I was sweating and having a hard time focusing. The vast majority of my colleagues have been incredible helpful including my "neighbor" in the office beside mine to volunteered to drive me to my car given the gray, ashen color of my face on Wednesday. (Being a university, one has to walk everywhere. Being I am cheap and won't buy the faculty pass, I park in the student lot and have to walk over 1/2 mile to get to my office. Easy when I'm feeling normal. Slow now).

Teaching has been a blast considering I have to sit down to teach. I'm a pacer with arms and hands that shoot out from my body when I get excited about a topic. Teaching while sitting is annoying. But I still cannot stand for any length of time, so I have to sit and teach. Bleah.

I'm also developing a bit of annoying insomnia that is coming on after I've slept about 4 hours or so. Last night I was obsessing about a senior colleague who has some sway over my career who showed up at my office door on Monday and wanted to know why I still feel bad. That's a quote, "So why do you still feel bad?" I don't know, doofwad. I was under general anaesthesia and had my guts ripped open by a velociraptor, umm, I mean surgeon, just 10 days ago and maybe I'm still feeling a wee bit weak.

This comment bothers me more than the other comments from my colleagues advising me to really take it easy, to stay off campus, and to err on the side of caution gives me comfort. It plays into my fears of being woussy, which is what caused me to go to campus on Weds when I knew damn well I shouldn't and frightened myself and my peers with how crappy I looked (and felt).

In any case, it is very frustrating for me to go from thinking a 45 minute run is a slack off, easy run to realizing that if I was walking any slower, I'd be standing still. I need to get the garden in and I know planting is fine, it's the prepping the soil that scares me. I've got at least half the garden left to prep and Dave has his own chores to do (including finsihing Conor's captain's bed) so the child can move up off a mattress on the floor.

In any case, I'm annoyed. Oh! And I forgot the reason for the second part of this blog's title. My bandages came off my stitches, and now I can fully see...that my belly button is completely tweaked! It used to be so cute! And now it's about half its normal size and squished on the left. It's going to become a lint trap instead of the pretty, open, clean belly button it once was. I'm very sad that my belly button is now so ugly. It's sadly one of the few parts of my body I have always liked. (One might note that in this house, my favorite picture of me as a bride does not include my head) So the one part of my body I have always liked and its ruined.


I'm not really in that bad of a mood, but I am crankier than I'd like to be. I'm ready to be normal again.


Anonymous said...

a.) possibly the belly button will reassert its previous position once the inflammation caused by the surgery subsides.

b.) maybe it won't.

c.) when my daughter had her nose surgery, she was totally out of it for at least a week. It took her three weeks to get back into the swing of things and about 6 weeks to actually be normal again regarding energy levels, exercise tolerance and regained fitness. She's 23 years old. You must be more realistic about recovery time and honour your body's needs.

d.) if you don't listen to what your body needs, it will be needy for much longer.

e.) once more with feeling: you need yourself a mess 'o greens.

f.) have a Hoppy Easter.


Captains Bed said...

I know that my 18 month old daughter is really close to giving up the nap herself. I am a stay at home dad and most of my work gets done during the 2 hour window she is sleeping. I hope she gives me a few more months but she sleeps less and less every day. Great post enjoyed your story.