Monday, November 05, 2007

The Whole Sleep Thing

I do not understand the whole sleeping together issue. I say this as someone who never envisioned myself co-sleeping and actively mocked people who did it (before I was a parent). Then when the only way I could keep my sanity was to bring Conor to bed for the middle of the night nursings, I was a quick convert.

That was about 3 years ago. And we just haven't gone back.

Conor still goes to sleep in his own bed and stays there until sometime between 1 and 4. Or 11 and 5. Who knows, I'm still asleep. I do know that at some point there's a little snuggle bunny in the space between me and Dave most mornings when I wake up. And often there's a toe in my ear at some point, too.

Conor definitely prefers Daddy for his nighttime snuggles. As a result, I get the aforementioned toe or a leg thrown over my chest. But sometimes I also get a fat kiss on my shoulder and a "Mommy" sighed to me in the dark. When Dave gets up before dawn to go running, Conor rolls over to my side of the bed, snuggles up in the nook, and we cuddle until it's time to get up.

How lucky am I for that? Pretty damn.

So yes, even though a toe in the ear is still a toe in the ear, kisses and snuggles and family hugs with an occasional early morning Conor sandwich thrown in does not suck. I still don't see what all those people (whoever "Those People" are) fight for keeping children in the children's own bed. I just don't get it. And even more so, I think it's their loss.


nancy said...

Oh, I am SO with you on so many counts. I NEVER thought I would co-sleep and totally mocked my brother when he did.

On a side note, I NEVER thought I would still be nursing a child at 20 months, and mocked my sister when she was nursing a preschooler. (He weaned at 4.)

Now I see no end in sight for the nursing or the co-sleeping and I could care less.

Not to say there is never a night when I wish I had more than 2 inches of bed space, and not that I don't have nights when I want to scream "FOR GOD SAKES, LEAVE THE NIPPLES ALONE!!!!" but all in all it has been a great experience. One I only hope to have again!

And, like so may things get riled up about. I too do not understand why other people care if I sleep with my baby? What's it to them?

OK, sorry for the LONG comment. I have to go post something myself. This NaBloPoMo is killing me!

anita said...

I actually envy you because you are able to sleep with your husband in the same bed along with Conor! My husband snores so badly that I have taken to sleeping on the trundle bed in my daughter's room. The whole reason I wanted a king sized bed is that I envisioned little kids coming into our room in the middle of the night and all of us sleeping blissfully. Ah well, I should get off my butt and call a dr. for him (because he won't do it).

Carroll said...

My very wise pediatrician, those many years ago when my kids were little, pointed out that in terms of the history of the world, it has only been very recently that humans even developed the luxury of separate rooms for children, and still only in economically developed countries. Nature still gets by with dens, why should loving families have sleep nests of some sort. Cherish those snuggles, Anita. It will definitely not be happening by the time he's in high school!

Kim said...

Hi Anita, I am delurking from Japan to say YES! For some reason, in my family, co-sleeping, or even having the baby in the same room was a terrible terrible thing to do. Living in Japan, in a one bedroom apartment, there really are not many options. And, when all other mothers here (Japanese) looked at me strangely when I said my baby was NOT sleeping with me (during the first 8 months or so), I realized co-sleeping was normal sleeping here. And, my own mother tells of sleeping between her folks until the next baby was born and Grandpa added another room onto the house. So...I love sleeping with my angel!

Victoria said...

Ahhh! I love those night-time snuggles! Our kids are older (4 and 7) but we family-bedded it from the night they came home from the hospital, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I don't begrudge those who don't co-sleep...I just don't understand those who are sooo actively against it.

Have they never snuggled a warm toddler at 2am? Have they never fell asleep nursing a baby only to awake and find mama's milk dripping from the baby's sweet mouth?

Shhh...if I can't sleep...I still go and GET a kid to bring to our bed. *grin* =)

Piratewench said...

I live for those sweet sighs of "mommy" in the middle of the night.

To date, Max has not slept a single night in a bed other than "ours." His crib was only used to contain him while I was trying to get a thing or two done, as a baby, and was more of a play area.

Now, his toddler bed is only used for changing a once a day poop (he still refuses to use the potty for pooping).

And these days, even our lab/retreiver is back up on the bed with us...