Tuesday, August 08, 2006


Have I mentioned how hard it is to focus with everything going on?

We've scheduled an ultrasound in 3 weeks. I think my head will explode before then. This waiting around to see if everything is going to be OK has been a lot harder than I anticiapted. (Although, like a good psychologist, I know humans are horrible at anticipating how they are going to feel in the future) As long as I feel indigestion/heartburn, which is most of the time, I feel like everything is going to be ok. It's when I feel fine that I worry.

Oh, yes, and have I mentioned my boobs lately? Not I don't recall doing that lately. My boobs are ginormous. I'm in a bra size I never thought possible for my body. And the pain, the PAIN, during nursing. Well, it's reassuring to feel like my boobs are being stabbed with ice picks whenever Conor latches on. I don't like it, but it's something I never felt with the m/c. So the day nursing doesn't hurt is the day I'll Freak. The. Hell. Out.

I've also been googling forever to see if anything indicates twins, and honestly, no. There are no reliable signs that one is carrying twins or a singleton EXCEPT for an ultrasound. So, this thing causing so much indigestion and booby pain could just be one rowdy child.

The other exciting things around our house include:
  • A dead hawk, killled by the fearless owls inhabiting our yard and scaring the hell out of the neighbors and the dogs
  • My four pair of new shoes from Payless, during the NC tax free weekend. Unfortunately, cheap shoes are ....cheap. And I have humongo blisters and am walking out of the pair I like most. Poory on them, but I'm not giving up. They are cute!
  • The two year molars coming in most actively at 2 am. This is not fun. And once again, I am completely disgusted by what teeth look like when they break through a child's gums. It's wrong to have flesh slowly broken by these huge rocks. blech. The disruption in sleep sucks too.

I felt like this was going to be a much more clever post when I was thinking about it. But I can feel the energy draining from my head and meeting up with the acid at the top of my throat. Maybe the acid is eating all the energy I have.

And yes, I'm still worried. I won't be satisfied until I see a healthy beating heart on the ultrasound. But I can't do anything about this. It's completely out of my control. So, I just have to wait and "let it go" and focus on other things that can help me be productive.

I have plenty to do.


OneTiredEma said...

Three weeks? THREE WEEKS? Are you kidding? Can't you ask them to, you know, move it up?

I guess this was the advantage of having no idea that I'd even ovulated. By the time my pregnancy with AM was confirmed I was already 8 weeks. (Not that it made the rest of the pregnancy go faster!)

Breathe in and out. Slowly. Pick your lovely veggies from the garden. If all else fails to take your mind off things, you are more than welcome to come visit and occupy Miss M at 5 frigging 30 in the morning.


evelin said...

I am SOOOOO glad to hear that your boobs are killing you. GREAT sign. Of course, now your boobs hurt. And nursing is torture. But GREAT sign!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm about 4.5 months pregnant now. When I first got pregnant, I was nursing my 12 month old and thought I was going to DIE everytime she latched on. I didn't want her to think she was hurting me when she nursed, so I'd try to hide it but still...OUCHIE! I was so happy and thankful when she self-weened at 14 months. WOOHOO!!!
Anne @ therriault.blogdrive.com