Friday, June 02, 2006

All this Knowledge and Still no MD

I swear I feel like I ought to be granted a special certification in OB-GYN.

Actually, the problem most likely is that I only know a little, but the little I know expands into the entire space of what I want to know and then feels like “a lot.” Wide and shallow would be the best description. Like my butt.

Anyhoo………

We’ve had another “event” this month. This one involves another chemical pregnancy.

We got our first faint positive pregnant test with the First Response Early Response on Monday, 10 dpo. Yes, I know that’s early, and honestly I had no intention of testing, but when I woke up and my basal body temperature was 98.6, I was shocked. And curious. The only time my BBT gets that high is when I’m pregnant. I am a classic triphasic fertility TTC charter thingy chick.

So I thought to myself, “Myself, are you pregnant?” I took the test and lo and behold, I was. “Yippee!!!” I thought. There’s only a 13% chance of miscarriage the first 6 weeks if the little guy implants on day 9 or before, so we were pretty psyched to get a positive test at 10 dpo.

I took another test the next day and the line was darker! Yippee again! It was clearly and unambiguously positive!!

I took a test the next day, and it was faint again. Thus I began to worry.

I took another test yesterday and the line was barely there. “This is Not Good,” I thought to myself. Myself sadly agreed.

I called up the doctor and they asked me to come in and take a blood test. That was yesterday afternoon and I’m waiting for them to call with the results this morning. (I’m having a hard time focusing) Oh, and I guess I should mention about how I arrived and their computers were down and they told me I couldn’t get my blood drawn and my head nearly exploded and I informed them through gritted teeth and locked jaw that I was having a miscarriage and they had damn well better take my blood today. (maybe an exaggeration because it’s not a “real” miscarriage. Nonetheless.).

Then the very nice receptionist came over to apologize and I burst out into tears (which I have not done at all during this whole pregnant-not-staying-pregnant dealio). And then the nurse came to get me just as I was gaining composure and I lost it all over again.

Although I’m quick to cry, I really hate doing it in public especially in front of people I don’t know but know something intimate about me.

Pretty much, I felt like a nut.

As an aside, we were playing a game called Catch Phrase this weekend in which you break into teams and try to get your partner to say a particular word or phrase. Dave and my friend Brian were on the other team; it was Brian’s turn and the first clue he gave to Dave was “Anita is….” Dave shouted out “A nut!”

It was the correct answer.

Back to the not being pregnant: So, ummm, yeah! I was. Now I’m not. In the last 6 months we’ve been trying to conceive, I’ve had two chemical pregnancies (that I know of) and one full on miscarriage.

So we can get things started, but we can’t “seal the deal.”

I’ll update at the bottom of this entry after the doctor calls.

Edited to Add: The doctor called. My beta was at 4 and progesterone was low. So I was pregnant, but am not now. The dicussion we had is where do we go next?

10 comments:

KCB said...

Oh, Anita, I'm sorry. I remember how frustrating it was to be pregnant and then almost right away, not pregnant. Take it easy on yourself.

gabriella said...

jooooleye jooooleye joooooleye......

:)


gotta go on that won vacation of yours and get it on hot and heavy, girl. a but of red and bit of white and lots of fun. always thought making babies was s'posed to be fun.

and if it works, you can always name her after me. :):) LOL

Carroll said...

Blech :-(

I'm so sorry, Anita -- what a roller coaster! You're right about all the knowledge though -- and maybe we were all better off in "the olden days" when early info was not so readily available. Easier on the emotions, anyway.

Big hugs from here, my nutty friend!

T. Carter said...

That sucks; there's no other way to put it. I'm so sorry, Anita.

Piratewench said...

Well, being able to get things started is something. I haven't even done that, although I don't know if I would trade you situations and ride that emotional roller coaster. I've just started using progesterone cream for the second half of my cycle. You may try the same. I haven't taken steps beyond that yet, but I'm waiting for the Dr. to get back some other test results first. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!!!

Pioneer Woman said...

So sorry, so sorry, so sorry. Sending good preggers wishes your way...

evelin said...

I'm so sorry.

A chemical pregnancy IS a REAL pregnancy. Don't even think it isn't. You still have the same feelings and hormones and disappointment.

You are in my thoughts.

mc said...

Belatedly checking in to say how sorry I am that you guys are going through this. Fingers crossed that however you choose to proceed goes just as you'd like it to...

grumpygirl said...

anita, totally bites. so sorry. at least you can have some booze...

anita said...

I am so sorry to read this. Hoping things turn around very soon in the sealing the deal dept.