Thursday, July 19, 2007

Meditation Fatigue

Yesterday, during my morning meditation, I tried a new practice focusing on mindfulness, that is, becoming aware of the state of oneself. During this practice, one starts first by focusing in one's sensations and perceptions from the 5 senses: what sitting feels like, what you hear, what you taste, etc. Then after mastering that practice, you move to focusing on what one feels emotionally.

It's a good practice for just becoming aware. And I did have a mini-revelation when I realized that I hadn't noticed "hearing" the air conditioner, despite it being the loudest sound in the room, until it turned off.

But the more revealing part of the meditation came when I focused on what I was "feeling." The book suggests naming the emotions one encounters: joy, fear, anxiety, resentment, anger. (I suppose negative ones hang around more than positive ones)

So I sat there feeling inward and waiting to name my emotions.

"I feel tired."

Is that really an emotion? Stop talking! Listen to your breathing again.

"I feel tired. Really, really tired."

Stop it!

"Feeling tired."


Breathe. Listen to your breath.

"Still really tired."

So, I went to bed early last night.

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