Friday, January 05, 2007

It was a Boy

Certainly, that was the most dramatic thing we learned yesterday at the doctor's office. The doctor really didn't want to tell me, and after I forced him to, it was all I could do not to cry. But now I'm glad I know that the last miscarriage was a little boy. He did not have a genetic makeup compatible with life, but now at least he feels more like a little person to me.

And just in case you're wondering, I was convinced it was a girl because of all that morning sickness I was having. From all that indigestion I had starting at implantation, I just *knew* it had to be girl. I was wrong. Go figure. (I just checked the urban legends site and heartburn is a sign of a boy. I had none with Conor.)

So here's the scoop. Because the last m/c was a genetic abnormality, 1) there's not likely to be some big undiagnosed problem like a clotting disorder that's causing the miscarriages and 2) we're likely to be ok the next time we get pregnant. We are just concerned because we have not gotten pg for 4 months, our new personal record (PR) and one we don't want to celebrate. OH! And btw, the diagnosis for my last miscarriage was genetic abnormality and advanced maternal age. (!) I knew going into this whole process years ago that I'd be diagnosed with AMA. But geez louise, it's irritating to see that on paper.

Dave did point out that the good part of that diagnosis is that the doctor did not turn to us and yell, "Good LORD, you old hag! There is NO WAY you're going to get pregnant again!" To be honest, after speaking with him, I felt better than I have in a while that we'll actually get pregnant again and have a healthy child.

So, here's the POA:

We are clearly ovulating and that is good. We did have a little discussion on the validity of using temperature shifts as an indicator of ovulation. He's not so fond of it because it's so variable and prefers OPKs and cervical fluid changes. (Although he uses the term mucus which bugs me as a feminist and I can talk about that later. OK! I'll talk about it now: do you say seminal fluid or seminal mucus, cause it's the same sort of thing)

ANYHOO, with 2 years of charting data, I am a pretty good N=1 design and I know when I've ovulated or not based on my temps. I think when I threw out that phrase "I am my own N=1 design" I should have remembered that even though he's a doctor and I'm a doctor, we're not the same sort of doctor. He kind of laughed and took a moment to translate what I said to what he knows (he's won research awards, so I know he knows research) In any case, N=1 design is a strong research methodology where you can see great cause and effect results when 1) a "cause" keeps being added and removed---like progesterone before and after ovulation and 2) an "effect" is observed that changes regularly when the "cause" is added or removed--like my temp low before ovulation/increased progesterone and higher after ovulation/increased progesterone. SOOOOOOO, I am my own N=1 design with a good 24 months worth of consistent temperature changing data.

So there. HA!!!

Back to the POA: The next step is a HSG to see if there is some scar tissue from the D&E's or some blocked tube problem we didn't know about. The good news about this is that the doctor has seen the diagnostic test kind of clear out some of the rubble (!) in one's tubes and women can get pregnant immediately after the procedure. Of couse, I just checked the med journals and the research is not all that enthusiastic about the HSG at all. Whatever. I'm willing to give it a try because the anecdotes from my mommy boards are supportive. Sometimes, I wish I would not look up the research. I'm sure you do, too.

Step 2 will be a sperm analysis, just cause it's cheap and easy. (I'm sure Dave LOVES my referring to it that way!) And then if we're not pg after that, we're moving to the RE.

We may get pg this month. We may get pg the next month we try. I don't know. I feel a boatload better today than I did last week. Even if I now know it was a boy. Honestly, to protect myself, I haven't really thought of the last m/c as a real being. I've healed enough now to let myself think of him. Although I swear to God(dess), I thought it was a girl.


OneTiredEma said...

You're a bit of an overachiever, no? :-)

Good luck with all the fun stuff. Take a dose of ibuprofen before the HSG; it takes the edge of the cramping. (I remember it hurting like an SOB, but that was before the week's worth of labor.)

Carroll said...

Sounds all good (relatively speaking) Anita. I can't get over how useful and potentially reassuring this information must be for other women who are TTC. "Advanced Maternal Age", eh? I never knew that was considered a "diagnosis"! Like you have some sort of "condition". Mange, maybe? Gah! Hang in there, and good luck with the plan :-)

Anita said...

I like Advanced Maternal Age, like mange!

Sometimes, that's the damn truth.

VHMPrincess said...

I'm glad you have some answers and have a plan for moving forward! Good luck, we'll be here for you.

mc said...

Anita, I am so impressed with your perspective on all this! Hang in there, and we'll keep all relevant body parts crossed!

Nancy said...

Nothing to add, but I am thinking of you and hoping for the best for your family.

evelin said...

Oh, my. I don't know if I could hold it all together if I knew what my lost babies were, girls or boys. Wow.

I could also give you some good HSG anecdotes (not me, but whatever, I'm a good anecdote for pregnancy after losses. We all have our strengths), too. I do remembering it hurting like a $&%^%*#(! But just for an instant. Then it was OK.

Piratewench said...

I wonder why an HSG, since you've clearly been getting pregnant. I had one and all was good. No following pregnancy though. You'll be happy to know mine didn't hurt one bit, so I hope yours won't either. How about 21 day progesterone blood tests???