Wednesday, August 22, 2007

A Step Down the Adoption Path

We went to CSS today to meet with their director of adoption services and figure out what the hell we're doing. It was a very good meeting. They are starting to take names for families because they have had so much placement--they don't take families in when they are "full" or there are not a lot of children being placed so this is a good thing.

It doesn't seem like they have a lot of spectacular failures such as when the Dad shows up years later and tries to fight for the child. And I didn't gather the they've had a lot of bio mothers change their mind at the last minute (like in the hospital when the adoptive parents are heading in to take their prospective child home). But I guess "not a lot means" only 2 out of the last 10 have done this.

These are all (relatively) good things.

I did shock the hell out of her when I said I was interested in breastfeeding. Apparently, I am the first mother to mention she was interested in such things---she wasn't even sure it was physically possible. We assured her that it was.


Or rather I should say "But...." which should cue YOU to say "All my friends have a big 'but' " and then you laugh. Or maybe that's just me.

This option is very appealing to us. And neither of us are wanting to wait around because we can't figure out what to do.


We're just starting on this new treatment to see if I can get pg. I really do want to be pg again and to easily bf again. I want to make sure that our new child doesn't have layer upon layer of complications just because he or she is with us and not another loving family.

But then I also don't want to wait around and decide this is EXACTLY what we want and be 6 months or 9 monhts behind in the process.

I think we're just going to have to walk down this path. It's not going to be a cheap path to walk down. But if we don't take a step somewhere, we're not going to get anywhere. And maybe when it comes to the decision point, when we really do have to commit, it will be obvious which path we should finally commit to.


Rachel said...

I think you are making a good choice. Either way you are going to have a child in the near future and there is still a possibility that you may have more than 1.

Piratewench said...

No reason you can't take multiple paths simultaneously. It sounds like a very wise thing to do. The right one will eventually present itself. Who knows, there may be multiple children in your future from multiple paths.

Merrily Rolling said...

This is only my second comment in your blog (I commented at a post from a couple of weeks ago, but it was a while after you wrote it). In any case: Hi.

We're struggling with all of the same questions you are so I feel your pain. We haven't made the decision to pursue adoption yet, mainly for financial reasons, but I think we'll start soon. It is so much money but the way I look at it is this: If the money ends up not being used for an adoption it's for an insanely good reason.

And FWIW, if we adopt an infant I plan to breastfeed.

Good luck with ALL your options.

Anonymous said...

I know someone who adopted a child, filled out the ppwk to adopt another, got pregnant, got the child through adoption, gave birth and then got pregnant again. You never know! Good luck!

I got the result from the anaysis of the fetal tissue from my D&C--normal tissue. Then why a miscarriage at 12 1/2 weeks with a heartbeat the day before????


Anita said...


That is truly horrible. As you are going to find out, this m/c is going to be hard to get over, at least is was for me.

I would seriously consider getting an RE to check out auto-immune issues.


Anonymous said...


They actually didn't want to do anything since this was my third pregnancy, my boys were born with no problem at all and this was an "accidental" pregnancy (I was on the Pill!) that it must just be one of those things. But it wasn't one of those things--it was my baby who died...just because s/he was unplanned didn't make him/her unwanted...