Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Cheap A$$

I am thoroughly enjoying my prednisone insomnia, so I thought I'd catch up on my blog. Although I could expound on how quickly the glamour of sticking myself in the belly with heparin has completely gone away, I'd rather talk about our New Tricks Around the House to Save Stuff.

First, let us ponder floss. Yes, floss. That rare commodity that people use to clean their teeth. (I'm reeking in sarcasm. Can you tell? It's that insomnia thing) We have floss coming out our respective ying yangs around here. Dave and I go to the same dentist and after every visit, our goody bag contains a carton of floss among other treats. We are not as good of flossers as we should be. So, I can honestly tell you that we have 5 full cartons of floss around our house.

And then my darling husband went to Target and bought a jumbo size carton of mint flavored floss. He could not understand why I flipped out over a new JUMBO size carton of mint when it was a mere $.75. But then I pointed out the 5 other cartons. He claimed (!) that he did not know they were there, and ok, I believe him because in a bathroom cleaning frenzy a few weeks ago, I did put them in their new Special Place (in a basket with our zillion free toothbrushes from said dentists and the boatload of travel sized toothpaste we have, too). However, the point here is not that I'm a nut or I freak out over spending $.75 we didn't need to. No, the issue is 6 cartons of freakin' floss!!!!!

So, I've taken to flossing every single time I brush my teeth. First thing in the morning? Brush and floss. After breakfast? Brush and floss. Mouth needing a pick-me-up in the afternoon? Brush and floss. (That one is not so common) Time to go to bed? Brush and floss! My teeth are CLEAN! The dentist is going to love me!!!

But let us be clear, I'm not flossing because that's the healthy thing to do. I'm flossing because we have too much freakin' floss around here. I cannot stand to have things sitting around that we are not using. (Please see entry on husband's 59 t-shirts for more information)

Now, let's discuss water. For those of you who still doubt global warming, I thunk you on the head. For the rest of you, including those of you who might be wondering if this is only the tip of the iceberg (using a poorly chosen metaphor), there may be concern that this is just the first summer in hell in a series of summers in hell coming up. Thus, water is going to be a real issue.

Now, saving water is not exactly being cheap. Water is, relatively speaking, inexpensive. But we've gone to some pretty serious extremes around here that 1) make me feel holier-than-thou, but 2) only until we can convince others to use our tricks. We now have a bucket in our shower so that when we turn on the water and wait for it to heat up, we can save a several quarts of water. We are now washing our vegetables over a big bowl in the sink, saving the water to use outside on our starving landscaping and inside on our shrivelled houseplants.

You would be stunned to find out how much water you can save doing just those two tricks. And apparently, if you use Ivory dish soap, you can pour your dishwater outside to water your plants. And acid loving plants like hydrangeas and azaleas can handle and even thrive off cold coffee.

I know it sounds nutty and it is quite honestly a pain in the butt. (Belly? A pain in the belly? BTW, I have a huge bruise already. And I accidentally jabbed my finger tonight and have a disgusting bruise on my bird flipping finger. It could come in handy right now, though, to be honest.) OK! Back to the water. Folks, I feel like our conserving water right now is similar to saving money when you're not in a budget crisis. I always end up in a budget crisis and wish I had saved more money when I had more money. That's what I feel like now with water.

Because if this weather pattern keeps up for 10 more years, or even just 5 more years, we are all screwed.

So go put a bucket in your tub and save some water and a thirsty plant. Then go floss your teeth. You'll make more room in your linen closet.


EmilyJane said...

OMG, how I've missed you Anita! (I dropped off the face of the blogosphere for a while) You always write the best posts and I enjoy your sarcasm & humor immensely! You have also pleased my hydrangeas, btw. And my husband (woo-hoo! cheaper water bill). So thank you. But flossing? The mid morning mouth-pick-me-up? No, no: I clearly need many more motivating cartons of floss. Or maybe a smaller linen closet.

Karen said...

Oh my Psycho Anita! You might wear out your flossing frenzy by doing it so often. You'll get sick it faster. Just go to once a day and find other uses for the excess. Hmmm...possible future blog subject? 1001 uses for floss? And by the way, your post does sound like you're hyped-up on prednisone...Good job!

anita said...

great, funny post. Another way to save water is to work from home and have children and busy household so that you are too tired to bathe for longer than I'd like to admit.

But I'm totally going to do the bucket in the tub thing. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

wow, Anita -- steroid-induced hypomania much? but those are great PSAs both on the flossing and the water conservation!


fingerstothebone said...

Floss is great for sewing on buttons, they wear better than regular thread. But you should floss twice daily anyhow...

Anonymous said...

Definitely a bit on the hypomanic side as Veronica wrote. Wow! And how many milligrams is that? 5? Holy cripes.

You have confirmed to me the reason I don't give out toothbrushes, floss or anything else. I use a Oral B Compact Soft Pulsar Toothbrush ON the patient during the appointment to teach them via the sense of what they feel while I'm doing it how to brush their teeth. (I've had people say "don't stop, that feels really good".....like, hey, do it yourself!) People learn this way. Much better than any other means of instruction. No visuals. I call it Toothbrushing Meditation. Close the eyes and feel what's going on. And yes, I do pay for the toothbrushes. They are not free. None of them. Maybe in the U.S. they are free. Not here. Same with the stupid floss. And the Stimudents. And the Proxabrushes. And the Rubber tip stimulators. The only things we get for free are those stupid little tubes of toothpaste. Colgate sends us about 10 pounds of the stuff every three months. I just sent 20 pounds of it down to Cuba. I figure they may need toothpaste. And quality amalgam. I don't use amalgam anymore so I figured might as well send it someplace where it's still being used except what I see coming out of Cuba is really terrble stuff.

Yes, Anita, for travelling purposes and otherwise (and I know it's got a AAA duracell in it but it's removable) the Pulsar is really fantastic. I bought one in 2005 and I haven't looked back.


Anonymous said...

Oh and if it's not clear, the patient takes home the brush. I give them stimudents too. And proxabrushes. But everything is used on the patient to show them how to use it correctly, what it feels like when used correctly and all that blather. My patients notoriously good with their oral hygiene. It's quite humbling.