Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Luckiest Woman Alive (Sort of)

So I have done some "cognitive restructuring" and I actually think this is a good thing. "This" for those of you just tuning in is finding out I have to have colon surgery.

The good part, as I see it, is that I am not pregnant. What an odd thing for an infertile to say. However, if I was preggers, they certainly would not be able to do a CAT scan, what with all that contrast solution and xrays. And my uterus would be pressed up against a bad infection, possibly all squished up against it. And this could hurt the baby and, I would imagine, my uterus. Bad, bad.

Another reason that this is a good thing is that prednisone and diverticulitis? Not such a good thing. And since I will be taking prednisone for the first three months of a pregnancy and at a higher dose, well, let's just say the scenarios don't turn out well. That alone has been enough to convince me to wholeheartedly do this surgery.

And folks, this is apparently a surgery. I met with the anaesthesiologist today. He pooh-poohed my comments that I was sensitive to anaesthesia and said they planned to put me in a deep sleep. Period. Also, he said they are going to stick a tube down my throat to breathe for me. (Hint #1 that there might be pain later)

We met with the surgeon again and he was again very positive. However, it was only towards the end that he mentioned that he was taking out 8 inches! Yikes! (Hint #2) Although he says that's not much at all, I perceive it to be a good deal!

He also snickered when I mentioned that I would be going back to teach next week. Yes, he actually laughed and the caught himself. (Hints #3)

Then there was discussion of the morphine pump (Hint #4) and that Conor maybe shouldn't come visit me until Friday (Hint #5). Oh and the catheter (Hint #6).

Oh and finally, they are going to staple my colon back together instead of stitch it back together. Also, to test the "seal" of the colon, they'll pump water in my stomach, hold my intenstines, and see if there's a leak. Lovely! Of course, the way they staple my guts back together is that they have to stick part of it up my booty (Hint #7).

There is some good news from today: I get to drink gatorade tomorrow morning before the surgery so I won't be so dehydrated and they have to stick my veins a zillion times to find one that works. What a relief. (Slight sarcasm)

So, yes, I'd better lose some weight out of this. Some real weight and not just fluid. I'm not counting on it though because I am contrarian in that way. I'll probably end up fatter and older than ever.

Hopefully, I'll be able to blog from the hospital. Rumor is they have wireless there.

11 comments:

Scott said...

I'm with you..

OneTiredEma said...

And may I repeat: Holy shit, Anita.

Just say yes to the drugs. Oh, and something metamucil-y, if you are allowed, for afterwards (my other post-C/s tip), after the liquid diet and all that.

Hugs!

Eleanor Q. said...

Good luck! I hope everything goes smoothly and the recovery isn't too painful!

Scott said...

It's 1:02 pm....

Scott said...

It's 3:00 pm...

lisa said...

I hope all goes well. And hey, eight inches of colon. How could you not lose weight?

Anonymous said...

You've been in my thoughts all day today, Anita, and I will continue to stream my very strongest most positive good wishes in your direction for the duration. Our son had major abdominal surgery at age 19 -- no piece of cake, by any means, but doctors these days do seem to know what they're doing in terms of post-op pain management/recovery. One fun part is not being let go until you've properly pooped. After that, I'm sure that being home and in your own environment will do wonders for your spirits. Weight loss? Yes indeed -- virtually guaranteed. You are young and fit -- all will be well!!!

Humongous hugs from here,

Carroll

West Coast Diva said...

I lurk and don't comment often but I am today saying I am thinking of you!!!

Anonymous said...

Any news yet, anyone? Family members reading?? everything go OK??? Please send her our love!

Carroll

Anonymous said...

Surgery went very well. Doctor said it was very easy to operate on someone who is so "young and thin." Anita is resting and recovering very well. She was allowed to have a popsickle today. Wooo hooo!!! She got her laptop this morning, so hopefully she will update soon. Thanks to everyone for your thoughts, prayers and support.

Dave (AKA "dear husband to Anita and "Daddy" to Conor.)

Anonymous said...

Thank a whole heck of a bunch for the good news, Dave! It was the only acceptable outcome, of course, but still...good to hear :-)

Carroll