Thursday, November 16, 2006

I Suck

Today is Harvest Festival at Conor's daycare. It starts at 11 and ends at 1, and parents get a plate of food and join their children in their rooms to eat with them. I know we've been at our daycare for the last two years during this time, but it's never seemed like a big deal, so we've missed them.

Yet. Today. Two parents asked if we were coming and I said "No." I actually have a thesis from 10 to 12 and office hours from 12 to 1, and one of the quirks of academia is that missing office hours is up there with sleeping with a student in terms of "badness" as a professor. So, I did not plan on going.

But THEN! Both of the parents told me that not only were they going, but BOTH parents were taking off work and going to attend the Harvest Festival at daycare. Conor's teacher, when I told her, was pretty shocked and promised that Conor could sit with her at lunch.

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

I can't go. The thesis defense was scheduled nearly a month ago, and I don't remember if I knew about Harvest Fest then or not. I'm booked for office hours with advisees for next semester's classes.

I called Dave freaking the eff out and practically begged him to go. With some switcheroo, he can fortuately attend.

What if Wendy had not asked if we were coming? What if Conor had sat all alone at lunch in his festival hat that he is so proud of that the first thing he did this morning was point it out to me? (They are all wearing their hats for lunch)

I am TWO AND ONE HALF YEARS INTO THIS AND I AM STILL AN IDIOT!

When the HELL am I going to be a decent mother and know all the "right" things I'm supposed to do?!?!?!??!

Can Conor have more a pathetic mommy?

(BTW, I am back on the progesterone supplement which as Dave can vouch to you does make my reactions a weeeeeee bit more extreme. Which considering my reactions are extreme to begin with can be scary.)

8 comments:

Beth from CA. said...

Don't feel too bad. I'm a stay at home mom and still can't go to my son's preschool events because I also have a 21 month old at home. His school doesnt' like you bring siblings. Whatever. Instead I sign up to bring food etc.. for the Thanksgiving Feast. Then I feel like I've done something.
Beth

Anonymous said...

I made mint brownies and Rice Krispies Treats and sent them in with my husband. I have never made the one for my children's daycare, either. I tried to compensate by over-making treats! :)

-Erica

Carroll said...

Come on, Anita! You mean to tell us you didn't read the chapter in Parenting for Complete Idiots that tells you how to be in two places at once? Or even three or four, depending on the multiplicity of your commitments?? Shame on you!

Y'know? You do what you can, and then you do what you have to do, and then you lose sleep over it, no matter what. He'll turn out just fine, despite whatever self-perceived inadequacies you may have as a mom.

(But gosh darn I wish I lived close enough to stand in for you as a surrogate Fairy Godmother or something. I totally *love* those pre-school feast days!!)

Jennifer said...

Two and a half years into this thing and you still expect to be doing all the right things?

Tell Dave to call me when the tooth fairy forgets to come and I'll talk you through it!

Piratewench said...

If you think your reactions are a "weeeeeeeeeeeeeee" bit more extreme on progesterone, wait till you try spiking your hormone cocktail with some Clomid...fun times await, my friend!!!

karen said...

When Conor is 17 and Mensa Boy and I are invited to his Graduation, we are going to tell everyone at the reception how amazed we are that he turned out DESPITE the fact that his mother missed the fall festival at his daycare when he was 2.

Anonymous said...

Aww. As a working mom for the past 19 years I can tell you things like that happen more often than any of us would like. Conor would be fine with it; but glad you were able to scramble for a last minute solution. My 4yo's Montessori school is having a similar event tomorrow. All the kids bring a vegetable and cut it up for a communal soup, of which the parents and families are invited to attend and partake. It's a fun tradition.

Karyn

monicaz said...

Personally I really don't like going to these 2yo holdiay events at school or even B-day parties. It's not a bonding experience. It's usually annoying. It's much more fun for them to just drop them off - they have a much better time with stories to tell afterwards. I have this fabulous friend who takes my daughter to all the things I or my husband don't want to attend that we have to. I just don't like holidays or parties and think they are for people who need validation from other people. Call me sour grapes. Get over it. These things are just plain pedestrian.