and freaking the eff out.
How many times have I fantasized about a night in a hotel room alone in which I could sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep? There have been a few times over the last 2 years where that has been my biggest fantasy.
Well, now it's getting ready to happen and I am not looking that forward to it. When Conor left this morning for daycare I was crying. I have a knot in my stomach and a general feeling of freaked-outed-ness.
How stupid am I that I didn't realize how upset I'd be about leaving him? (Actually, not that stupid. A great deal of psychological research shows that people are very poor at predicting how they are going to feel in the future) Nonetheless, when I woke up with this immense feeling of dread, it took a while to sort out all of the things in my life which could be causing it and to realize it's leaving my son and husband for 3 nights.
The only good thing is that when I come back, I'll be so excited and happy that I hope those positive feelings will make up for these negative feelings and I'll average out to a fine happy medium.
But then that means I'm anticipating how I'm going to feel in the future......
But I'll leave you with some cuteness:
Mommy, I u. Mommy! I U!
That is my son's version of I love you. The love thing, at this point, just gets in the way. The key words are I and U. (I assume he spells it that way in his head, too!) ;-) My other new favorite sentence is "Mommy, sit here!" as he points to the chair/space/floor beside him. The sentence I'm less enamored with hearing about the 14th time in one sitting is "More Side" which is the contraction of "more nurse, other side" It blows us away how much is vocabulary is exploding and he's starting to put together nouns and verbs for "real" sentences.
OK. I must finish my tasks here before I go. I'm just so freaked out about the whole thing.