Southern and Parents

As Dave and I ate this amazing gumbo that a friend brought by tonight, he decided that there are four groups of Southern food:

1) Cook the hooey out of it (i.e., any vegetable made in the south)

2) Add Bacon

3) Fried

4) Gravy

All I can say to that is: YUMMMMY!

In case you are wondering, the parents in our neighborhood whose children are starting kindergarten this year are obsessed with where their children are going to school. The vast majority of the conversations Dave and I have right now are where to send Conor to school. To give you some perspective, the debates are like CIO vs AP parenting....only worse.

Actually, I take that back. For my friends at least, we seem to be supportive of each other's kindergarten choices. And just before I started this blog entry, Dave and I realized that NONE of our friends are making the same choice! Not a single one. So from our perspective: none of our friends have looked at the same schools and all agreed on the same school.

What I appreciate the most about our friends is that we all seem to be supportive of each other. This weekend, a good friend and I had a cleaning party at the new house and could truly support that a school we didn't choose was indeed a good school and a good choice for each other's family. Dave and my impression thus far is that all the schools we've seen are "over the bar" in that they would be good educational choices. I don't think any of the magnet schools we've seen are bad.

NONETHELESS, today a friend explained to me how "parents she knew, parents whose parenting styles she respected, had chosen a particular school (<--the school she mistakenly thought we are choosing), but it simply was not a good fit for her child." Now, being the psychologist interested in communication that I am, let's parse that statement. If that statement had been "That's a good school, but not a good fit for my child or my family", I would think that was a fine, non-judgmental statement. Indeed, I think all of our choices are based our family's beliefs about what makes good education (pedagogy or pedagogical philosophy if you want to sound fancy; I have had to submit my personal pedagogy at every job appointment or review I've had as a professor). Some are more traditional than others. Some are less traditional than others. There you go. That's fine.

But that's not what this woman said. She had to justify her statement by talking about the families who have chosen this particular school by saying she "still" thought they were good parents. Implying, of course, that they had chosen the WRONG school, but she wanted me to think she respected their (clearly poor?) parenting style. Let me translate, "GOOD Lord, they don't seem like wackadoodle parents but that school sucks!!!" She even continued on trying to convince me that this school had poor resources and weak parental involvement until I finally got her to understand we were talking about another school--although, ironically, I know people who go to the school she was referring to and they love it. Good parents, too.

Have we not been through all this before? here's a clue: see CIO vs. AP above. I'm over it.

It recently occurred to me that we don't tell each other how to be married, do we? We don't say to each other: in order to have a good marriage, you must have sex X amount of times in Y amount of ways; you must split (or not) your finances in this way; you much divide house chores this way; you must live in this house with this many children and this many pets; you must do everything I've done exactly the way I've done it or your marriage is bad and wrong.

Somebody might try to tell you (or me) that, but my response is simply: Bite me. Marriages and other long term relationships are unique. No one expects that all marriages are the same. Why then do we expect other family choices, like um, parenting, should be the same, too? Insecurity is the answer. And I am too dadgummed tired to be insecure about that.

I think it's time for me to go fix me some fried bacon gravy and cook the hooey out of it.

Christopher

So the mini-Conor clone known as Christopher, yes, what is he like? The similarities between Conor and Christopher are pretty amazing. They look alike, they smile the same, they are hitting their physical milestones at about the same time, and they have the same interest in food!

One big difference is Christopher's temper. Conor has a definite midwestern calmness about him that isn't anywhere in Christopher's consciousness. I have learned that when the boo-boo lip emerges, I have a nano-second to react or the screaming and the (nonverbal) cussing begins. Neither Conor nor Bridget have a temper like this. And although it keeps me hopping, I think it's awfully sweet.

On the other hand, Christopher (like Conor) is a big laugher. I have already found his ticklish spots and kisses on his neck get him going every time. Bridget honestly just started laughing today. We were outside and I was double slinging so I didn't have any free hands. Nonetheless, Patches really, really wanted me to throw the frisbee. Instead, I put my foot under it and lofted it up in the air as high as I could. Although it only went a few feet, Patches happily fetched it just like I'd thrown it across the yard. After a few fetches, Bridget started giggling. The more we did, the louder she got. I have no idea why that was so funny to her, but Patches and I were very happy to keep doing that funny version of fetch to keep her laughing.

But back to Christopher. Christopher (like Conor) is also a very smoochie boy. But either I didn't notice it this early with Conor or Christopher is trying very early to figure out how to kiss. Last night when he was supposed to be going to sleep, Christopher decided it was time to flirt. And then he started coming at my face with an open drooly mouth. Since I know he knows where the nummies are, I was a bit confused. Then I just gave me him cheek and he put his mouth fully on it, drooled a bit and then pulled back looking very pleased with himself. I have to admit that this was so adorable that we did this for a very, very long time. Who can resist one's son trying to reciprocate love? I certainly can't.

And the most unusual thing about Christopher is his ability to provide amazing back massages at this early age. Let me explain. I am finally confident having both babies with me in bed. However, at some point in the night I have to roll over and feed one while the other snuggles against my back. (As an aside, I have become the queen of rolling over in one spot) While Christopher snacks, Bridget is likely to gently tug at my pajamas should she get hungry. Christopher, being the enormo baby that he is, is a bit more dramatic.

He will flail his limbs beating me in my back to get my attention. Once, I rolled over and he was attacking Dave thinking that might be a new source of milk. But if I'm really lucky, and he's more just stirring in his sleep versus demanding food, his flailing arms and legs will hit on some pressure points in my back and relieve some of the tension there. It's definitely not a skilled massage, but it's a freebie back rub and I do appreciate it. (And no, I've never delayed rolling over to get more massage---it's not that good!)

And I'm very excited about our new buckle tai sling for Christopher. We got it yesterday and I was able to put it on once today. Christopher loved being on my back and going about the day. I have to work on it though. I tried to put it on a second time and ended up whacking Christopher in the head with my elbow. There was crying and it was not good for anyone. But, once I figure it out, I think it's going to be a life saver.

That said, I'm pooped. Time for bed and getting ready for the new week. Not that it's really that much different than the end nor the middle of the week. Or the weekend for that matter. I don't know how fulltime SAHMs do it.

Place Holder

This is a place holder post so that I can still qualify for NaPlambo or whatever the name is. Good day but pooped. Cleaned the house of the new kitchen with a friend and picked up my buckle tai, the new sling for the babies. I realize it won't solve all our problems with young twins, but I'm thinking a lot is going to be fixed as I'll be able to pick up both babies safely at the same time.

Tonight's bedtime routine was a bit long mainly because Christopher got a second wind and decided he wanted to practice kissing me. Who can possibly resist a wide-open, smiling, mouthy kiss from a short bald chubby guy who laughs every time he presses his drooly mouth against my cheek? I certainly can't. I'm even looking forward to those same kisses tomorrow morning.

Happy Naps

Today was one of the few days that both twins have had good, substantial naps today. They had a good 2 hours this morning and a good 1 1/2 to 2 hours this afternoon.

((((sigh))))

It's so nice when they are not whining from their lack of sleep. That said, I think my daughter needs to better understand that no one is making her roll over. If she doesn't want to roll over, she doesn't have to! Rolling over and landing on her belly apparently pisses her off to no end. No one has any expectations of her rolling, yet she continues to roll and blame us for it. Can't wait until puberty!!

We've also decided to delay our move into the new house. I need to tell my mom and dad who are helping us move, and if they are reading this before I talk to them--we're delaying the move. There are issues with letting the floor completely cure before we move in and it would just be a good idea to wait a few more days.

Oh, yes. Now I remember what I wanted to blog about this morning. This idea probably came to me about the time I was getting dressed. Yes, my post twin pregnancy body. Honestly, I can get back into most of the clothes I was wearing before I got pg last year, but nothing fits the same.

First, and most shockingly to me, I really miss my A-cup boobs. As Dave pointed out with wide eyes and up and down hand motions upon seeing an old picture of me, I was "flat, flat, FLAT as a board! There was nothin' there!!" This cannot be said about me now and I cannot tell you how surprised I am to miss my former flat-as-a-board like figure. Clothes fit better and it's easier to run around.

Second, my belly is huge. In fact, I think I might have diastasis recti, or basically my stomach muscles have stretched too far apart. Besides the lovely pot belly that I can't get rid of despite being at a decent weight, my back and shoulders are all tweaked and I'm in pain most of the time. I'm hoping the doctor will provide some advice if I really have it. But truly, my body shows the what I've done with my life the last couple of years. And it's ruined my chances of ever being a Victoria Secret model. Just saying.

Bridget

I haven't really dedicated single blog entries to the twins as individuals, and I feel like I ought to. Although it's easy to lump them into a unit ("the twins"), they are quite unique and a lot of fun just by themselves.

Bridget is a bit of a pistol. Originally, we called out a Code Binky whenever she was going to sleep and dropped her binky. While we'll still call out Code Binky, now it's more like Bink! Bink! Bink!! to whomever is closest. And sometimes, we don't even need a binky to get worried. That's when we call out Code Bridget, which means, figure out what the problem is and fix it before all Bridget breaks loose.

The child can scream. You can be holding her when all Bridget breaks loose and not become deaf from the sound of her screams. It is obvious to others when this happens by the frozen expression on the holder's face and he/she thinks of a way to calm Bridget, and the blood coming out of the holder's ears.

That said, she is also one of the most charming people I know. This morning, she was playing in her exersaucer, and she looked down at Patches and gave him her huge toothless grin and crinkled nose. Patches was so excited by her flirting that he hopped up, trotted over to her and gave her a big kiss on her face. We really, really try to discourage the dog kisses, but I get the reason why he did it. When she smiles that charismatic smile, it's hard not to come over and scoop her up and kiss her.

Of course, now she's upstairs protesting a little about going to sleep. Dave is with her for now. I'm hoping she'll let him put her back to sleep so I can have a break. It is incredibly hard being a SAHM (even temporarily) for twins.

Crappity Crap

Today was one of those days that I will happily forget the details. Just so I can later read back and go, "Oh, yeah, that day definitely sucked", I shall share some of them with you.

The gist of the problem was that neither of the twins took naps today. Christopher had a couple of 20 to 30 minute cat naps, but Bridget didn't sleep at all. There was screaming all around, and I don't mean just the babies.

Then about 3:00, we went over to meet with the other children's choir members at church. Conor's kinder choir (and the other youth choirs) sang at the Southern Christmas show. Of course, both babies fell asleep on the drive over to the church (yay!) and woke up screaming on the drive over to the event (booo!). I sat in the parking lot at the event and nursed both babies and they were in happy moods during the entire 20 minute concert (yay!). And in case you're wondering, 20 minutes is a good length of time for children to sing and not nearly enough reward for getting the whole family over there.

In any case, it's raining here. A lot. I woke up this morning thinking: Ida? Ho! I'm tired of the rain and it's disconcerting to see the animals gathering two by two and the big wooden ship being built at the end of the street. If you think I'm exaggerating, last weekend was the first weekend in 8 that it didn't rain. And to compensate for it, we've had 3-5 inches of rain in the last 2 days.

I'm pooped and the rain doesn't help. And tomorrow, we're going to another school open house and I have to take a shower and wash my hair at some point. Bleah, bleah, and more bleah.

The Language Academy

This morning, I went to the public K-8 language academy open house. I know I've mentioned it before, but to repeat myself, our local elementary school is one of the worst in the county. WOOHOO! The middle school after it is pretty bad, too. And the high school after that is not known for being the top in the county.

So we're looking. Today was the first open house and I was pretty impressed. The building itself is nothing to get excited over (which is important to many folks around here). It's 50 years old. But it has some of the highest test scores in the county and, well, I don't know, the kids learn another language.

And I don't mean "learn" another language like I learned French in high school. I mean starting the first moment of the first day of kindergarten, they are immersed in their language track. Even on the first day, the teachers speak no English but they do a lot of pantomiming.

We toured a kindergarten class in each of the four languages: Chinese, Japanese, French and German. Holy Freaking Cow. These children were exposed to the language for the first time at the end of August. And maybe it's because I could understand enough of the German and French, but the Chinese and Japanese classes blew me (and the other parents) out of the water. Kids in all the classes were completely understanding and responding to the teacher in their language track. They were all doing math, singing, spelling, just doing all this amazing kindergarten stuff....in another language. Wow. Seriously, the students in the Chinese class were doing something with math that just made my jaw drop. I know I'm hormonal, but it was amazing.

What a gift we feel we could give Conor, even if he does not choose to use it in a career. How amazing to be completely fluent in another language. At this point, we're debating between French and German. I speak some French and I think that if our children knew French and English, they could go anywhere in this world. However, we have good friends in Germany and we will likely visit with them and hopefully vacation with them (in Spain! long story). In addition, there is a German family right across the street from us.

In all honesty, I would be thrilled if the kids started in one of these languages and then picked up the other in the 5th grade (also an option). Seriously. WOW. This is a free option for us here in Charlotte, NC. Pretty dang cool.

That said, we are also going to see an International Baccalaureate, a Montessori, and a traditional elementary school. But this was amazing.

Oh, and thanks for yesterday's comments and friendings (speaking of France), :-) . Like Carter, my identities bleed on each other. And I appreciate Matt's thoughts about posting links. Now that I've fixed my FB problems, I can do that with interesting stuff. But do I friend our Dean on FB? I'd love to, but I think she'd think I was a wingnut.

Back to the subject, are your schools as whacked as this? Do you have to search for a school or can you just go to the one closest to you?

New Media

Here's a big change of subject, but something that has been on my mind. I have a question for all you folks who blog and/or use Facebook and Twitter. I do all three and am in a bit of a quandry over what to do with some of these media.

First, if you're on FB and haven't friended me, give me a holler. I'm actually quite a bit more active on it than I am here. I also have a twitter account (see the right) which I sometimes use and I sometimes don't.

The issue for all of these things is how much I "talk" about personal stuff and how much I talk about "professional" stuff. Back in the olden days when I first started blogging, one was advised in no uncertain terms NOT to talk about work stuff online (see Dooce). But now, I'm finding that folks are using blogs and FB and twitter to talk about work things.

Certainly, it's still not advisable to talk about office gossip online a la "Can you believe what an idiot so-and-so is?" or "I think X is dating Y." Although, really, that would qualify as both the most interesting and the most boring stuff depending on whether you knew so-and-so, X or Y or not.

But a lot of folks, and actually, a lot of my peers, are twittering and blogging and FBing about professional things. And none of them are blogging about social things, much less "mother" things.

So should I use my FB or twitter accounts to be more professional? (This venue is too far gone t all of a sudden be professional) And what would I talk about? We've already established that office politics are out. Do I twitter/FB about teaching or general professional activities throughout the day ("Am running SPSS now! Next I'll do confirmatory factor analysis! WOOHOO!")? About what I'm reading ("Information and communication technologies are cold media!")? About what I'm researching (No way on that--it's not peer reviewed and I don't want someone to steal my ideas, should any one of them be worth stealing)?

Some friends/colleagues post about things they've read in the NY Times, etc. But I figure my friends, should they be interested in such things, would have already read it.

My concern is that my colleagues are talking about smartypants stuff and I'm talking about poopie diapers (Christopher had a DOOZY today; it was like a volcano shooting out of his diaper and pants). I don't want to sound so "fluffy". And I actually do get really excited about my research and my work. I actually can do smartypants stuff myself. I just don't know why anyone would want to hear about that from a tweet. And all the good stuff about teaching ("Let's see, what do you need on the final to get a B in the class? Well, you got a D on the first exam. A D on the second exam. And a D on the third exam. Hmmmm, you need to score 457 on a 100 point test to get a B in this class." <--actual conversation from several years ago), I can't really do since I'm no longer anonymous on any of these venues.

I have few boundaries between my identity as a professor/research and my identity as a mother or as "Anita." I don't blog or tweet or update on my work not because I don't really get excited about it, but because I can't imagine that many other people getting excited about it. ("Woohoo!! Sense of virtual community! WOOHOO!! Comes from interactions and support! Is mediated by norms! Sanctioning hurts it! YEAH, BABY!!! Now, we're talking!!")

I don't know. Maybe now that I have tenure, when I go back to work I will twitter or blog a bit more about being a working mom. Maybe about the research process. Maybe some about what I'm doing. Or not. We'll see.

Do you twitter or FB with work colleagues? Do folks at work read your blog? How does that work for you?

Now, I'm going to go open the fridge door and hope that some sort of snack food has magically appeared in there from 30 minutes ago. I am SO HUNGRY. I am ALWAYS SO HUNGRY. And I did eat an avocado and nuts today already. And I finished up the hummus a few days ago and they were out of boiled eggs. I'm not a skinny minny by any means from all this bfing. But BOY AM I HUNGRY.

Ikea

Went to Ikea today to look at closet systems. Also, got our H1N1 vaccinations at a local clinic.

I am POOPED. And it's time to put the babies to bed. I would blog afterwards to write something more witty than this, but I'm at 50-50 whether I'm coming back downstairs after the twins go to sleep.

Just one more thing: Bridget has figured out both front-to-back and back-to-front roly polies. She is adorable and amusing herself and us to no end. We've also lost whatever unguarded time we have had with her.

sigh. I am so tired.

Lessons Learned Part Deux

Today, Dave worked on painting the downstairs while I cleaned out the cabinets in the kitchen. Here's another lesson we've learned: move all your stuff out of the house. We thought they wouldn't end up working in a couple of the rooms and moved a lot of our boxes in there; they ended up in those rooms--including a foot through the ceiling of a closet nearly ruining a substantial amount of our clothing. (Contractor is going to fix that).

The kitchen cabinets still had some stuff in them and we noticed this week that lots of dust had gotten in there. Yuck. I still have about half the cabinets to clean and a lot of dishes to wash.

Bottom line, we should have moved everything out and then could have easily moved everything back in.

Here's a question for you: do you use shelf liners? I always thought it was a Southern thing. None of my roommates up North or out West used it and thought I was a nut for suggesting it. however, the dirt I'm seeing in the shelves would be a lot easier to clean if I could just, oh, I don't know, change the lining as opposed to unsuccessfully trying to scrub it out. How about yor house? Do you use it? What kind?

Off to review an NSF grant proposal on a Saturday night. Fun times!

Remodel Lessons

This will be a multi-part post. Just warnin' ya.

We've learned a lot about the remodel. Not the least of which is goes along the lines of "Hmmm, didn't think that was going to be as important as it was." Some things seem obvious and some still feel like revelations most days.

First of all, we're really happy with our architect. That was totally worth the money. The reason is that we never would have come up with their solution for adding a master suite and an extra bedroom. Our solution would have sucked.

Second, our contractor charged by the task, not by the hour. So if it took less time or more (like the problems they found in the old family room), that was on their dime. There was no construction problem that came up that we had to pay extra for.

On the other hand. . . .

The extra charges we ended up paying for had to do with wanting some lighting or plumbing fixture that was nicer than our allotted construction "allowance." This is apparently where everyone pays more than they think they are going to. Occasionally, it's simply going to the contractor's preferred store and picking out fixtures that are more expensive that you meant to. Other times, it's part of the realization that after the construction, you really need an X in this Y space.

More specific things we learned:

*Working with a contractor generally gets you about a 50-60% discount on the store's prices.

*You can occasionally find online specials that cost about 20% what the store is offering. Not 20% off. 20% of. Very nice.

*A clever husband can sometimes find building materials for sale on Craig's list and save, oh let's say, $1500 off the best deal the contractor can get. Go, Dave!!

And here's the hardest and most strange lesson: Those extras--those lighting, plumping and paint choices--appear to be the most important ones, but they are not. I'm not thrilled with my custom built bathroom vanity. It's built exactly the way I asked for it on the design. But I don't think it's going to work for me. However, for a little bit more money (probably less than $100), I can have that fixed. The general bathroom on the other hand--the shape, location, windows, etc? That I really like.

Even if Dave and I picked the butt ugliest lighting and plumbing fixtures and paints, they can eventually be replaced. Yes, it will cost money, but only a couple of hundred dollars really. The house itself? Not so easy to change. Those are the things one sees and uses day to day and they are really the least important. Yeah, I get it, they are the most important as far as how pretty and stylish the house looks. But it's the bones of the house that really have the most importance in how well your house is going to work as a home.

So there you go. Ideas we hope you can use in your remodel. I have absolutely no doubt more will be coming. (Like how to get cheap granite for your counters!)

You're my Friend, Aren't You?

A few weeks ago, we were leaving church and as we got into the mini-van (!), Conor shouted to another family as they were getting into their car ((sigh)) "HEY!! I know you! Don't I know you!? You're my friend, aren't you!?"

Dave and I laughed about this. It's not so different than he and I are: happy to see people that we know, unsure about who our friends are, hoping that the people we know are our friends or that they might want to be our friends, and most likely, appearing very geeky to the people that we know and scaring them off from actually being our friends.

Seriously.

But it was still very cute. Then last night, we had dinner at church so we could see Conor's kinder-choir sing (speaking of cute!). Conor spent the first part of the dinner running around the entire dining hall pointing to friends and shouting "I know you! You're my friend."

On the one hand, that's sweet. It shows how comfortable he is at this church and that he's starting to get to know other kids. And on the other hand, visions of junior high are dancing in my head. And it's Not. Good.

Neither Dave nor I were the popular kids in high school and judging by the pictures we've shown each other from those days, it's clear why we didn't have a lot of dates. I don't know, maybe acknowledging the other kids and how he likes them (or how he thinks they like him, I'm not sure) is the path to popularity that Dave and I missed. I'm definitely not saying that we want Conor to be a popular kid. The one thing Dave and I do agree about high school is that it's better to geek and not peak.

But still. I'm not sure about all this running around to the different tables and saying "You're my friend!" I think that it shows how unselfconscious our son is and how utterly assured Conor is about being accepted for *exactly* how he is. That's amazing! How lucky to feel that way in your life. I just don't want him to lose that feeling. Or, more honestly, I know that feeling is bound to go away some time. And it's could be a painful experience for him. And it's a little bit sad to know that about life.

It just hits too close to home. You're my friend. Aren't you?

Off of Milk

Christopher has horrible eczema and we think it's due to a milk allergy. Honestly, it's really bad. If you can look past the triple chins and the pinch-able cheeks below, you'll see just how awful his breakouts have become.

And this was the day after the really bad break out.

So I'm not eating any dairy. And ironically, I can't eat goat's milk or yogurt either because of the high correlation between cow's milk and goat's milk allergies. Folks, I had no idea how many milk products I'm used to eating. Besides cream for my coffee, I apparently consider ice cream and cheese as my go-to snacks when I'm hungry. And I'm always hungry. But that's another post.

In any case, I need to go get some snacks that are not Halloween candy and are not potato chips and are also not dairy. Any suggestions? I'm really hungry. And I can't have Christopher looking that scaly again.

We'll do another picture at the end of this week. So far, his skin has really improved and doesn't feel nearly as leathery as it did. If we get close to clear skin, I'll be thrilled. And hungry. And perhaps thinner?

Big Butts

I was just upstairs talking to myself in terms of a blog post: "You know this house, the rental, looks a lot smaller from the street than it really is. Like our remodeled house and most houses in this neighborhood, it's got a small facade. Like most people I know, it has a small front and a big behind. Heh heh heh heh heh. This is something I should blog for Naplambo or whatever this is called."

So yesterday you saw our big behind. Today is our small front. Behold the before.

And the after. Not so much of a difference.

The Remodel

Here's a little before and after of our house. This is before in March.

This is pretty much the same shot at the end of September.

We still have a few more weeks' work to do including painting, finishing the floor, and installing the plumbing and light fixtures. You know, little stuff. (Oh, and the colors are going to be what you can see on the outside of the after picture--dark and light blue).

We've just decided that starting November 20th, we're going to start moving in. And yes, it was crazy to remodel when expecting twins. But what the heck.

In any case, remodeling lessons will be following. Once I can type without the babies crying.

National Blog Posting Month

Should I? Would it finally jump start my a$$ to record the life of my twins in a more detailed basis?

Why the hell not? Why not stress myself out with a task of my own choosing!

I say this at the end of a 5 minute break of mild fussing and the beginning of a larger fussing session. (Dave has just come back from the house; a break for me)

Halloween was fun. Except for the fact we only trick or treated for 15 minutes because of the rain. Pictures are here (to be added when facebook actually sends the link). Actually, I cannot fully express to you how bugged I was that we were only out of the house about 25 minutes for Halloween. I had apparently been looking forward to this event for a really long time and because of a little thing like a sudden downpour, all the members of my family who could use words wanted to go back home. By the time we arrived there, the rain had stopped, but we still called it a night.

For those of you who do not have infant twins in your home, perhaps this will illuminate just how isolating it is to be at home with them all the time. I've started walking during the day during their naps, which has helped a lot (they are in their stroller). I'm trying to call more friends on the phone so I can at least talk to people. I am trying to schedule a few lunches or coffees out with some friends to get out, too. That is more challenging than you can imagine because we're trying to finish up the remodel and Dave is saving us tons of money by doing work for us. But it means that I am home alone more, too. So, it's a trade off of not getting the work done that we need to get done on the house versus my sanity.

In any case, I had really been looking forward to Seeing. Other. People! Being out of The House! Experiencing this thing I've heard about called "fun." It happened for about 15 minutes in the rain. And then we came home. I honestly felt shat upon by the universe. Happens though, huh? This is one case where you can honestly say, "Girl, you need to get out of the house more."

Ain't that the damn truth.

Don't Make Mama Mad

Dear NY Times:

Wow! Really? Most parents lose their temper at some point or another and yell at their children? And most of them feel guilty about it afterward? And no parenting philosophy in the world endorses shouting as a good parenting technique? What novel reporting!! Is that really "all the news that's fit to print?" Here's a suggestion for next week's Styles section: The sun is going to rise tomorrow. Then it's going to set. And it might be cloudy.

Sleep, Part 473

I just had to negotiate 10 minutes from Conor so that I could write this post. It's not really working out all that well, but I thought I'd let you know that's how we roll around here.

The good news is that the sleep issues are getting much better around here. After starting Operation Early to Bed and Early to Rise, we started bedtime earlier, which has led to clear naps in the morning and semi-clear naps in the afternoon. The only problem is that Early to Bed can mean Much Earlier to Rise than we meant. That's not as bad for us as it could be for others, but also for the last 2 nights, it's been snuggle-rama to get them to sleep and I've gone to bed soon after they have. Really, again, not a problem, but I would like to have just a little time by myself. JUST A LITTLE TIME BY MYSELF. Ahem, where was I?

Oh, yes. I also remembered this site on Bed Timing and looked up the section on 4 to 6 month olds and realized, by jove and by golly, there is no way on earth sleep things are going to get better for 6 more weeks. The babies are in a cognitive growth spurt and with babies, when development accelerates, sleep goes downhill. And if you could see the smiles, laughs, and general discovery we're seeing in these bunnies, you'd know that they are developmentally where they should be at 4 months, at least in this part.

So sleep, it's better. It's not great. Just like us.

So why is Conor home on a Wednesday? Well. H1N1 is going around his classroom and we're keeping him home this week in the hopes of keeping him, and thus the twins, from getting sick. Of course, DAVE came home with a 102 fever last night and a massive headache! So we're thinking he might have the flu. However, his fever broke overnight and it feels more like a bad cold right now. Considering we're old farts, perhaps the swine flu is just a piglet flu for us. No biggy, just a piggy. Apparently, one is only contagious during the fever, so if none of us get his version by this weekend, we should be ok.

I hate that I cannot write more on the blog right now. The twins are doing such amazing things. They are discovering each other and actually LIKE playing beside each other. I think they are even trying to start kissing back--either that or they can't distinguish a cheek from a boob. Christopher is starting to laugh and Bridget is starting to blow raspberries and scream. Oh, dear. She is loud. Just like I am. And she is having a blast figuring out what sounds she can make. At times, I'm not sure I have a daughter or a howler monkey. Both are starting to teeth and there is drool everywhere. There is also poop everywhere and I think Bridget in particular is in a bit of a growth spurt.

None of this does any justice to the cuteness and charm they are displaying over here. But I am not joking when I tell my colleagues who ask me if I miss work that actually, I miss being able to pee when I want to. Work, and the free cognitive time that it implies, is so far away from my reality that I don't even know what it is.

Speaking of lack of free time, I've neglected Christopher long enough. Have I mentioned what a temper my younger son has? I take full credit for that, too. I must go relieve him from his anger.

((Insert witty closing here))

You Kiss Your Mommy With That Mouth?

Parent #1: "Be sure and wipe your booty when you're done."

((pause))

P#1 to P#2: "You know, when I was in high school, I never expected I'd say a sentence like that."

((Laughs from both parents))

((pause))

P#2: "What are you doing in there?"

Child: "Kissing the toilet."

P#2: "Don't kiss the toilet!!"

((pause))

P#2 to P#1: "Now that's a sentence I never expected to say."

Choices

First, an update on the twins' development. We went for their 4 month old check up yesterday. Christopher is one ounce less than Conor was at 4 months. One ounce and 6 weeks preemie. Who wants to vote on who'll be the taller brother? Conor's at 99th percentile. How much taller can Christopher be?

Bridget is at 10th percentile weight but 40th percentile height! That explains why she continues to look so skinny while Christopher looks so pudgy. The boy has man boobs. The only thing we worry about with Bridget is that she's going to go to high school in 0-3 infant size clothing.

Best news of all: the twins have caught up with their chronological age developmentally, and may even be ahead in some areas. Preemies! Caught up and ahead at 4 months!!! We're just relieved and feel like we can stop worrying. Mostly. I don't think either is really at their "genetic height or weight". That may take a bit longer.

Okay, so what is the big stuff about choices? The real stuff on our mind is figuring out the twins daycare while we also decide on Conor's kindergarten options. ((((sigh)))) This is just something you don't think about before you have kids and don't stop thinking about after they are born. Well, maybe the Kindergarten thing is specific to living in a big city. In a "transitional neighborhood" in a bad city. With the worst elementary school in the county as your home school. Woohooo!!!

So we, along with all our other neighbors whose children may be going to Kindergarten are freaking out. Registration for next year's school year started this week. And we're all also starting to figure out which magnet program we're going to. And yes, the first open house for schools is next Tuesday. That's right!! On this Tuesday, we have to visit a school which may be where we send Conor NEXT YEAR!!

There are only two or three options we are seriously considering for Conor: 1) a traditional school in a better school district, 2) an elementary international baccalaureate school or 3) the language academy. In all honesty, we're leaning towards the language academy. (These are all free public options, btw). We're thinking either French, Chinese, or German in that order. What a gift to give a child the ability to be completely fluent in another language before the age of 12 (when the brain stops being able to easily acquire language or musical skills). And yes, Spanish is important, but the academy doesn't do Spanish and moving from French to Spanish in High school and being trilingual is not the worse thing ever.

Nonetheless, we have to visit several of the schools and figure out which is the best match for Conor and for our family. Other issues include: how far away the school is, what middle and high school does it feed into, the hours, is there a bus to it?, etc., etc.

For the twins, we're looking into daycare options for when I go back to school. The price of two children at daycare makes having a nanny somewhat reasonable. The problem is that we LOVE our daycare. But we might be able to save anywhere from $4K to $6K a year depending on a whole excel spreadsheet's worth of options and variables. Over 4 to 5 years, that's a little bit of money. I think for sure in the spring, we're going to have a nanny, one reason being that our daycare may not have space for both twins. For next fall, we just don't know.

Oh, and yeah. In the spring--we'll be paying for all three children in daycare. That's going to be about the same amount of money per month as our mortgage. Double your mortgage and then figure out how you're going to pay for everything else. Then send us that secret along with a check for $100. :-) That should help out with the groceries, at least!

Christopher calls. The butterfly toy has lost its appeal.