The Great Family Road Trip: Day 2

I have to be honest with you:  I'm a wee bit tired this morning.  I am glad this is our last travel day.  We get to Santa Fe, MN in about 6 1/2 hours (which seems like a hop, skip, and a jump right now) and stay for 2 days.

So, honestly, so far, the trip has been a blast. The kids are not going crazy and they are not going after each other.  I don't want to "brag" but my kids really like each other.  They annoy each other, yes.  But they enjoy playing with each other, too.  I feel sort of lucky to see that up close on this trip.  SO UP CLOSE on this trip.

They, however, do annoy us on occasion.  And that occasion would be the Witching Hour.  We learned about the Witching Hour(s) 4-7 with infants.  It, apparently, doesn't change over one's lifetime.  Happy hour for adults is the same time?  Co-inky-dink?  I THINK NOT.

So what the heck did we do for 11 hours yesterday?  Sometimes we did origami, while squirrel antlers grew out of our shoulders.  

Sometimes we did front seat karaoke.

We passed around fruit salad.

We killed zombies with our brother.

We listened to podcasts on The Blue Pill because we don't have bluetooth in our mini-van and the auxiliary cable doesn't work any more.  In particular, we listened to the Bath Tub story on the Moth...TWICE...because it is So. Damn. Funny. If you have 17 minutes, LISTEN TO THAT STORY.  It is true and hysterical.

Finally, we stopped in Weatherford, OK to eat dinner at a YUMMY Chinese buffet with our family and then went back to the hotel to continue the reunion while the kids played in the pool.

Great day, indeed.  Ready to head out and finally start vacating today.

The Great Family Road Trip: Day 1

After spending the morning freezing veggies and raw scrambled eggs, taking Christopher to the orthodontist, and sending Conor to dance camp, we started the Great Family Road Trip.  ((Shorter than Great Blanchard-Dougherty Road Trip.  We have long names))

It was non-eventful.

YAY.

We prepared a bit more for this trip.  We have two high speed multi-port chargers with Lightening Fast charging lines.  Y'ALL--WE NEED TO KEEP THOSE KINDLES CHARGED.  Plus, we bought a permanent portable hot spot that we're using as needed in the car, too, so the kids can play a few wifi games.  PLUS we brought a ton of coloring, reading, and activity books, which HOORAY are what the kids did first.  Yes, there was some kindle use, but there was more coloring and activity and thumb war than we anticipated.

There was only one fight. And that was when I was yelling at them to stop goofing around so much in the back while I found a hotel.  Wait.  I lie.  I already forgot that one time when Christopher lost his shit because we drank water out of HIS Gatorade bottle and not one of the other 3 in the car.  Dave and I looked at each other and thought, Oh No.  This is the hell we were afraid of.  Fortunately, we're already forgetting about it!!

Dinner was great.  Hotel is skeevy.  Christopher was up at 2 about to puke.  

UGH.  So, a bit  about the sleeping arrangements.  You would think that with two beds, the adults would have 1 bed and the kids would have another.  You clearly have not been slept with us in the last 12 years. If they could design a bed with a space on each side of me, a space above me, and a space below me we would buy that bed.  Then if they could add on spots for each cat, the dog, 3 gerbils, and a chicken or two, we'd start our own reality show and make a lot of money.

The kids have already negotiated who gets what bed with me when.  And there have been more than a few family discussions about the merits of each parent's snuggling.  Last night I was with the younger boys and Dave was with the squirrel.  

Which is why at 2 am, I noted a very awake moose by my side.  When I asked him what I could do to help him get to sleep, he said "My Tummy hurts."  And I had three thoughts.  1) Oh, Shit.  And 2) This will make great fodder for the blog, and 3) OH NO.  This is going to be exactly like our family trip to Disney World where each child and I took turns puking at the various theme parks we visited in and around Orlando.

To be honest, my tummy feels a bit queasy, too.  And FORTUNATELY (may you all knock on wood), no one has puked yet or, um, had other "issues."  

So today is the Big Ass Drive Day.  Y'all:  Tennessee is freaking LONG.  It's the same distance to Nashville from Charlotte as it is to DC.  And then we have to get past Memphis! And then Arkansas, OK, and Texas.  Or Arkansas, Texas, and OK.  I get confused.

We are off (our rockers) as out the door as soon as I get dressed.  So, see you all in another state.  Hopefully no puking or other issues for the rest of the trip.

The Great Blanchard-Dougherty Road Trip to California: Prologue

Yes.  We are crazy.  You've known that forever.  But now, I'm going to live blog it.

We are driving to Anaheim, CA.  We're leaving today and stopping in Santa Fe, NM and Winslow, AZ for 4 days, before the final push.  Then we're visiting many of our friends (YOU ARE WELCOME TO CONNECT WITH US!) while Dave and I attend the Academy of Management Conference.  After the conference, we're heading up to the Grand Canyon for a day.  And then we are driving like the wind back to Charlotte.

Nothing like dividing up a 33 hour estimated drive over a few days to keep the family close together.
Why?  WHY, in the name of God(dess), are we doing this?!  Well, Dave and I lived in Los Angeles for a decade.  We want to show our children what SoCal looks like.  We want to show them New Mexico and Arizona, that not only sometimes don't look like they are part of the US, but that they are part of Earth. I *love* the Southwest.  We can't afford to fly all 5 of us out there.  Hell, we can't afford to fly one of us out there.

So driving it is!!

We've loaded up everyone with art supplies and books.  We're going to listen the Harry Potter on Audible.  We are going to attack the hotel pools with vengeance to get all the wiggles out when we are on the road.

I *know* this is crazy.  Fully aware of this!  But some of the best memories Dave and I have from our childhood are those crazy vacations and road trips with our families.  This is going to be one of those memory events for the kids, even if Mom and Dad may be suffering more than usual.

So, here we go! I'm going to live blog the whole trip.  Stick around and witness the madness!!

Things I Have Learned This Summer

This is one of those lazy blog entries in which I combine the dozen or so posts that have been wandering around my head but I haven't had the time nor energy to write them and make them clever.  So here goes.

Emeals.  
Yes, emeals, not emails.  It's shopping and recipe service that, once a week, sends to your phone meal ideas, the grocery list, and the recipes to make these meals.  It's $50/year and the best thing I've ever done in my life.  Now, every Wednesday, I open the app, decide what we're going to eat all week, buy the groceries, and then don't worry about it until 5 pm when I turn on my phone and figure out what I'm supposed to do for dinner.  Worry free, delicious, healthy, EASY to make dinner.  We're doing "clean eating" which is all from scratch meals.  In the last week, we've had Chicken Cordon Bleu, Shrimp Salad Rolls, Rosemary Chicken with Watermelon salad, Steak with tapenade topping, and a variety of other really good, really easy meals.  I no longer have to worry about dinners.  Somebody else has done the worrying for me, including making the shopping list.  There are a whole bunch of meal plans (family friendly, fast, paleo, vegetarian, economical).  GO!  TRY THIS NOW!!

Plums.
Our 4 year old plum tree finally made some plums.  And by made some plums, I mean produced a couple of thousand plums.  I've made about 50 pints of plum jelly (7 different batches with different recipes), frozen plums for Thanksgiving pies, learned how to make cobblers (huge hit in the family now), and basically become a plum expert.  I really hope this wasn't a once in a lifetime plum event.  Those plums were delicious and I would love for June to become DEAL WITH ALL THE PLUMS month in our family's life.

Water.
Apparently, for one's "garden to grow," one needs to "water it."  This sounds like some sort of euphemism or maybe a proverb, but no.  I mean this literally.  We have been very sparing with water usage for our last 12 years of gardening. This explains why most of our gardening fails.  This year, I've been much more regular at watering young seedlings, making sure the garden gets its 1" of rain a week, and actually watering our fruit trees.  Um, Wow.  Water helps!  Who knew?  Apparently, everyone else knows this but me.

Roku and Sling.
We have not had Cable TV for 6 years or so.  We have not really missed it.  Except for DIY and HGTV.  Seriously, we go to a hotel or a relative's house who has cable, and Dave and I immediately turn to these channels and stare slack-jawed for hours.  For Father's day this year, I bought Dave a Roku (a plug in for the TV) and we subscribed to Sling (essentially basic cable for $20/month).  We are so happy.  The whole family now sits together after dinner and criticize people's home purchases, cake decorating decisions, and flea market flips. It is wonderful.

Banana Ice Cream.
Blend or food process the hell out of frozen bananas and you end up with fluffy, delicious banana "ice cream."  Add nut butter if you'd like.  It's an amazing, healthy, sweet treat.

Peaches.
If you do not live in or near South Carolina, I am very sorry for you.  South Carolina peaches from the farmer's market are the best fruit you will ever eat.  The kids are eating three and four a day.  They are begging for more of them. Grocery store peaches are nothing compared to real South Carolina peaches.  Plus, peaches and plums are best buddies in jams and cobblers.

So, um, there!  I have more.  But the talk of peaches, plums, banana ice cream, cobblers, and watermelon salad has made me hungry.  I am not one to deny myself food lately, so I need to check out what snacks I can have for breakfast.

Nice to see you again on the blog and I hope to be back soon(er)!

God stuff

So, when I obsess over a post over a period of time, writing and rewriting it in my head while I try to sleep, I figure it's actually a post I need to get out of my brain and onto the screen.  Kind of like a brain pimple.

And what a lovely way to start a post in which I talk about God(dess).  I'm so uncomfortable writing this that I wonder if I'll even publicize this post (I will.  But I might delete it).  So why write about it?  See the first paragraph.

So, I'm of the Baptist flavor in which we are encouraged to be our own priest as well as priests to others.  To me, this means I get to think about the things I hear and interpret them for myself and that's my spiritual truth.  This is in stark contrast to Baptist flavors in which the preacher tells you what to believe and if you don't you're going straight to hell (something, that may not be so). I apologize deeply and profusely if my stereotype of other Baptist flavors is wrong.  (I'm serious about that)  Please inform me if that is not true.  One of the benefits/challenges of being a psychology professor with a spiritual practice is  knowledge of the pervasive and strong natural human tendency to favor our group and disparage others. 

So ANYHOO, what has been keeping me up a night and causing me to obsess over this blog post?  This!  This following thing I've been thinking about and has sparked a truth for me that I really like.  And WRITING IT UP MAKES ME SOUND LIKE THE BIGGEST GOOBER IN THE WORLD!!! Yes, I'm shouting!  I don't how to write the next sentence without sound so pretentious and stupid!  ACK!

Here goes.

So The Lord's Prayer.  ((See?!  Right!??!  What the heck)) Anyway, I'm still typing cause I'm still digging this.  Here is *my* walking-along-my-spiritual-path interpretation of the Lord's Prayer as someone who has a spiritual practice, is a psychologist, and writes a lot herself.  As I understand it, this is the only prayer Jesus taught his disciples, so it seems important, eh?  Well, here we go.

1.  Our Father who art in heaven/ Hallowed be thy name.

My interpretation (MI):  "Dear God, You are holy."  Personally, I don't know what "holy" is (i.e., how to operationalize it) but God(dess) is It.

2.  Thy Kingdom come/Thy will be done/On earth as it is in heaven.

MI:  Jesus is going to die in a few days.  Note that he doesn't say "I'm going to heaven!!  Nah nah nah nah boo boo!"  Instead he says "Let Heaven come to earth."  I can imagine some disciple saying "Rabbi, what do you mean?" And as I imagine it Jesus slapping Peter (who I think would ask such a question) in the back of the head and going "DUDE!!  What the Hell (Ha!), do you think I've been doing for the last 3 years or so?  I've been showing you what God's Will--um, Kingdom: Heaven!--is supposed to be!  Love, forgiveness, health, compassion, food, equality, power for the oppressed, mercy. Doing these things. That's what God(dess) wants. REALLY!?"  Jesus (in my mind) is a bit frustrated by this point.

3.  Give us this day our daily bread.

MI:  May we all have enough to eat.  Not a big house with lots of money in the bank--WHICH I WOULD REALLY LIKE--but may we all have enough to eat.  That's it.  That's the bar we're supposed to be aiming for:  enough to eat.

4.  And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

MI:  We are all human and we say and do stupid things (sometimes on Facebook) or we don't say the right thing and don't do the right thing (pretty much anywhere).  We are human and that's what humans do.  Thank you for pointing that God(dess) knows that and we're forgiven.  And as a reminder, let's note that all the other humans here on earth do and say stupid things (often on Facebook) and they don't say or do the right things in real life and we should acknowledge they are humans, too, and let it go.

5. And lead is not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

MI:  Even though we are all human, don't make it any easier for us to be jerks.  And keep us away from Really Bad People and Events (and thank you for the unfriend button when it gets too bad).

6.  For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.  Amen.

MI:

• Sincerely, Jesus
• TTFN, Jesus
• You da man, brah!
• See you in a few, Your son, Jesus.  

I'll be honest with you.  Should I have been editing this back in the day, I would have said "You're right.  You can't just from Deliver us from Evil to Ciao.  But this sentence doesn't really fit with the others.  It is not simple nor direct.  You need a sign off.  But you've already said You're holy.  This sentence doesn't add much.  Why don't you think about it a little more, work on this line a bit and see what you can come up with."  You know.  Because I'm a professor.  And I edit.  EVERYTHING.  Maybe in the future I'll see the brilliance of it (said every Grad student whose paper I've ever edited), but now?  Meh.  

So, um, yeah.  

Bizarre topic for this blog, eh?  But I do think about this a lot.  And I do try to gather lessons from it.  And if anything, I can now put some Clearasil on my brain and start obsessing on some other topic.  

Cause, you know, that's how I roll.  

Meanwhile back at the Cesspool of Cough

OH LOVELY!!!

I'm sick now.

And the twins' O2 is lower than we're comfortable with to send to school.

Also, apparently, it is possible for their to be outbreaks of atypical (e.g., walking) pneumonia.  Usually in the late summer or fall.  In crowded areas, like schools.  GO FREAKING FIGURE.    I'll be honest, this doesn't feel like Walking Pneumonia to me, which I've always thought was mild.  All 3 of my kids had a rough time of it (well, Bridget didn't, but she's a Squirrel, so there).  And I was under the impression that walking pneumonia doesn't have a fever whereas all of us are HOT BABY!!!

Also, can it freaking stop RAINING here??  I'm turning into a vampire and I'm afraid my skin will melt off when I see the sun again.  And can someone PLEASE invent a self-cleaning house? Is that too much to ask for?  And personal trainers?  Can't someone send one over to make me get my fat a$$ back into shape again?  I'm participating in a steps challenge at work and they are about to throw me off the team.  Usually I'm a leader.  Now I'm a ((sob, sob)) ..... I'm not going to say loser.  That's not good self-talk.  But I'm trailing everyone else.

I'm going stir crazy FOLKS!!!  Wine isn't appealing anymore.  Only whine!!! THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING!!!!

Pneumonia Assvice

I am NOT the queen of pneumonia.  But with all three children diagnosed with pneumonia (X-Ray validation and all!!!), I do consider myself the Princess of Pneum.  The Duchess of D'Oh. The Queen Mother of All Dirty Words.

And as Her Royal Highness, I thought I'd share what my experiences with what pneumonia is like.

I got nothin'.  Every one of them has had a different experience.

Conor had spiking fever (103.7 one afternoon and 104.1 one morning), but I've seen viruses do that.  However, Conor was EXHAUSTED.  He couldn't even sit up to watch TV.  About all he could handle was lying down watching the new Curious George series.  Dr. Who and even cartoon Transformers involved too much cognitive processing.  His daily routine for 9 days consisted of: getting up out of bed; sitting at the computer doing school math for 10 minutes and watching Dude Perfect for the rest of the hour; stumbling to the sofa to watch Curious George and PBS Nature shows for 10 hours, and then be *thrilled* to go to bed because he was so tired.  We knew he was finally better when he could sit up and play Minecraft (this, after we started the Z-pack for atypical pneumonia).

Christopher's pneumonia was indicated only by a 105.7* fever on a Friday afternoon.  Let us pause for a second while that number sinks in.  Let me then describe walking in from a three day business trip.  Into a home of freshly baked cookies and art projects on the kitchen table.  Into a home, with children resting and watching some TV show.  "Oh, honey! It's so nice to be home, but let me check the children's temperatures!"  Bridget comes up with 102, which is high for most people, but moderate in our world.  Then I go to Christopher, slumping over in the corner of the sofa.  We're using my fancy under the tongue basal body thermometer leftover from TTC.  Our digital ear thermometer is unreliable.  When I shouted ONE-OH-FIVE-POINT-SEVEN, I might have become a bit agitated.

It probably comes as no surprise to anyone that while I am high in Big 5 trait Neuroticism, Dave is very low in trait Neuroticism.  I had called the doctor's office, gone through the triage wait, pushed 0 because it was urgent, gotten the nurse, told her the numbers, was throwing cold rags on various parts of Christopher's body and prepping my travel bag to be a purse to take to the nurse who said "GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW." During this time, Dave gave Christopher his ibuprofen and was gently untying the knots in Christopher's shoes to put kindly on Christopher's feet.

Ahhhh, marriage.  I like to use examples of this in class to show how those of high in trait Neuroticism react quickly, we move like the wind, we are loud (or at least I am), we constantly scan the environment, we see the problem, and we Get. It. Done.  People who are low in trait Neuroticism are preferred by society.  They are methodical, slow to get worked up, calm in any storm, and highly likely to be yelled at by their high trait neuroticism wives to put the damn shoes in my bag, and carry the kid out to the car.

Honestly, there was no other sign in Christopher.  He was coughing more than Conor, but Christopher has asthma.  He coughs.  The doc heard a crackle, sent us off for X-ray, and by jove, it was pneumonia.  However, no energy?  DON'T YOU WISH!  He is running around the house like a crazy boy, except for the afternoons when the radio begins to close in on 105.7 WKIT, as we now refer to this incident.  (You might have to take a moment to get that pun)

I would also like to point out that after 105.7 WKIT, there has been some rearranging of roles in the family.  From now on, Dave is the child life specialist and as always, the cleaner of cat yak and dead bugs.  I am the nurse on call and the picker upper of the crap laying round around the house.  (Not literal crap.  Dave still has to do that)  But 105.7 WKIT has clarified our strengths in playing hospital.  We all have a role to play in the family, I am the no-nonsense check your stats nurse, and Dave is the fun one they all want to stay home with.  I do give more kisses and snuggles, though.

So Christopher's cough has gotten progressively worse as have his oxygen numbers.  Dave and I spent 15 minutes last night (at the beginning of Panther's game!) staring at the pulse ox moving from 85 to 89 while he slept.  Yes, them there's numbers to go the hospital, but as discussed with our doctor, we wake him up, he goes to the the hospital, his numbers are fine, and they send us home.   (90 is the cut off of good/bad oxygen) FORTUNATELY, Christopher had a major coughing fit, puked up a ton of phlegm, and went back to sleep with an absolutely fine (at this point) 90, 91 and 92 oxygen saturation.  This morning he's sleeping with a perfectly fine 95 to 96.  THRILLED.

Bridget is in between the boys.  Her temp has stayed 100.5 mostly, with a few 101 to 102 peaks.  She's puny sometimes and she is developing dark circles under her eyes.  She coughs some but her oxygen is fine. She's not been below 96 for any period of time.  BTW, Conor's was *100* during his pneumonia.  Bridget is a very steady 97-98.  However, the doc can hear crap all over her lungs and 4 days of fever are not good.  So her X-Ray showed pneumonia, too. We've started the shaky vest with her and called the pulmonologist.  She's doing the best of the 3, which is not what anyone would have expected.  That little trickster squirrel!  Keeping us on our toes!!

I think we've turned the corner getting the twins on the Z-pack.  I'm hoping two more days at home and then we're back to normal.

I, of course, have developed a productive cough.  But Moms and Dads don't get sick, right?  I don't.  But I am looking forward to some productive work once they all go back to school.

Pneumonia B-Shite

Ugh.

This should be a Facebook post, but I have too much to whine.

AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!  Bridget is the one who is supposed to have oxygen problems, not Christopher.  But Christopher is the one whom I'm watching right now as his O2 numbers on the pulse ox range from 92 to 93 while he's sleeping.  It's such a weird mind fudge:  I start getting anxious when their O2 numbers hit 95 and then I beg for them to stay at 93 because 93 isn't so bad, really.

Other adrenaline bursts of late?  When one's son gets a 104.7* fever.  On Ibuprofen.  After 48 hours of antibiotics.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that HE HAS THE SAME FREAKING ATYPICAL PNEUMONIA THAT HIS BROTHER HAD TWO WEEKS AGO SINCE THOSE ARE THE ONES THAT ARE CONTAGIOUS!! Two X-ray confirmed, suspected bacterial pneumonias in one house that are not related is (are?) statistically unlikely.

O2 up to 94!!  Happy, happy gal-dang joy!!!

Hall-e-freaking-luia!  He just had a bad coughing fit, I used the chest PT they taught me with Bridget and he is UP TO 97!!!!!!!

Ok.  Battery died and has been replaced.  Hanging at 95.

I'll take it.

Hoping it stays that high and his temp stays low for the rest of the night.  ((It did come down to 101* eventually))

And did I mention that Bridget has started acting puny?  Her O2 is fine (95-97) but she's acting puny. I don't know what parents say outside of the south, but here, "puny" is a medical term.  And it's not good.

Great.  Christopher is now at 90.  Back to 93.

Can I live tweet/blog this all night long?  Don't you want to go through this with me?

94!

Ok.  Christopher's O2 is up and down (and by down I mean dipping into the upper to mid 80s down)  We have experience in this realm.  He wakes up, gets energized and his O2 at the hospital is 96.  We come home; he goes back to sleep and his O2 is borderline needing oxygen support.  He's 93 right now and we're 12 hours from seeing a doctor.

Let's just go ahead and agree that my putting out running clothes for a morning jog before Dave leaves for work and Conor leaves for school is overly optimistic.

Ugh.

My Children's Lungs: Part You are Fracking Kidding Me

So let me start this by recognizing that YOUR children do not get as sick as mine.

I get it.

I fully understand that you and the vast majority of children in these United States do not get sick.  Or at least, they do not get the funky lung problems that our children do.  Your children don't get hospitalized.  Your children don't get multiple bouts of pneumonia. I get it.

I also get that you might think that we are hypochondriacs.  That I take my kids to the doctor more than usual.  Or that I demand antibiotics for every cold they get.

I. Do. Not.

I am health conscious in that we try very hard not to eat processed foods and we use natural remedies for whatevs and I fracking HATE going to the doctor for a "virus."  I can handle colic by myself.  I can handle hand-foot-and-mouth and gladly check it off the list of childhood illnesses. We don't do ipuprofen for less than 101.5*. I know fever isn't dangerous until 107.  (I think; I would call the doc at 105+, but I wouldn't worry too much until 106+) I don't need a doctor to tell me what is going on with most illnesses.  I pride myself on not over-reacting.  ((I heard that cackle you just made.  I swear I did!!))  :->

Nonetheless.

I understand that my kids aren't normal.  And they have been hospitalized a lot.  And I don't even post about ALL the colds, coughs, fevers and general illnesses we have.

But here is the part that makes me want to smack someone.

CONOR HAD PNEUMONIA.

FOR THE SECOND TIME.

I AM YELLING.  YES.  YES, I AM.

Conor is the healthy kid.  Conor is the kid whose enactment of a bad stomach bug is that he doesn't eat all of his dinner.  (As opposed to me, who can gleefully lose 7 lbs in 3 days!!)  Conor doesn't get fevers.  Conor doesn't get sick.  And now Conor has pneumonia.  FOR THE SECOND TIME!!

I keep shouting this because although all of my children have been diagnosed with pneumonia, only Conor has actually had it.  Kit had RSV with 5 days hospitalization.  Bridget has her atypical reactive airways disease ("asthma"), but she's been kicking her lung issues like a champ for 20+ months.

Conor had pneumonia when he was 3 years old.  Only indication?  Clinging-to-mommy fatigue.

Conor has pneumonia now--after catching this virus from Bridget who LAUGHED in the face of this wimpy virus.  HA!!! HAAAAA!!!  HAHHAHAHAHAAA!!  She said!

Apparently, this virus is biting a few older elementary kids in the butt.  I don't know how this works and my nurse friends might be saying "no, you've got this all wrong" but the doc thinks this has turned bacterial with weird spiking HIGH temps (104.3 this morning!! I said ugly words at that one, but I didn't rush to ER or immediately call the doc) and serious fatigue and opaque X-Rays spots.

Can someone tell me if this could still be viral?  The doc says that it will take about 48 to 72 hours for the antibiotic to start working.  Is that the same time viral pneumonia should get better or are we really dealing with a bacterial one now?

The part that pushes that soft spot in my soul is that Conor doesn't have lung problems.  Conor is healthy as a horse.  And now all three of our kids have odd things that YOUR KIDS DON'T GET.

My response to the universe is: YOU ARE FRACKING KIDDING ME.

Dave wonders if there is something environmental in our house.  Dave and I don't have lung problems.  Is there something in this old house that we need to figure out?  Statistically speaking, something seems off and I SWEAR TO YOU, it's not our paranoia nor our insistence on western medical treatment.

Sweet baby lemur.  This is funky ash.

I may update this in the morning after a good  night's sleep.

ETA:  I realized quite a bit through the night that even though Conor has pneumonia, we have a pulse oximeter and his O2 is *great.*  Like, he was hanging at 96% O2 this morning for a bit, but generally he is really around 97 to 98% most of the time.  Those are great numbers and nothing to worry about.  He is starting to cough more and Dave and I keep telling him this is just the beginning of coughing.  That does not make him happy.  But overall, he is doing Just Fine.  He's so tired he can barely move. But he's *not* hospital bound.

Current Goofy Phrases

You know how, when you're really cool, you quote phrases to show people that you've seen them and you're cool? Well, considering for me, I was quoting a lot of Monty Python Movies, I'm not sure I was cool as much as I was signalling to the other geeks that I was cool in their world.

Or maybe I was signalling to other dorks.  I never did know.

Well, the movies and TV shows I'm quoting from now all indicate that I am a complete loser, a parent of you children and not only do I watch their shows, I think they are funny.  In no real order, phrases that are commonly heard around our house.  And in my classes.

Curse you, tiny toilet!

I think it was the shlond poofa. (Correct spelling!)

Yes.  Yes, I am.  or No.  No, I'm not.  

Nanny McPhee, we need you!

Hello, Sweetie.  

Spoilers!!

Nervocited (which I am right now)

Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.

I done did dood that!!

And this is not a quote as much as a childish misunderstanding. We were peeling eggs and Christopher asked what something is.  "It's the membrane," I replied.  "Yes," Bridget added, "it's the memory brain so the egg can remember things."  I let them call it a memory brain for quite a while before I said membrane again.  Then they morphed into memberain and I hope it never changes.

On Not Second Guessing

The twins are doing GREAT in re-K (what we're calling this year of repeating Kindergarten).  They are going so well, that--I have to be honest--that I wonder if they should have gone on forward.

And then my wonderful, supportive friends (Julie, Carrie, lots of others), look at me and say "That is wonderful you made the right choice".

I don't know what first grade would have been like for them if we had let them go forward.  It could have been bad.  It could have been just fine.

But I do know that right now, Bridget and Christopher are starting to "get" reading.  Both Bridget and Christopher are having fun doing their math and love to show off printing their letters very, very well.  The teacher really and truly lets them be helpers when they are ahead of the game on some activities.  Bridget, in particular, LOVE LOVE LOVES helping the other kids when they are struggling with something.  She's really *helping* them with some writing or drawing challenge.

They are both blooming and they love school right now.

Who wouldn't love positive feedback on their performance?

My undergraduate motivation class spends a lot of time on how self-efficacy ("I can do this if I try hard enough") is one of the biggest predictors of effort and thus motivation and thus performance.

I really hope that this re-K gives my twinnies the belief that they can do it.  That they can master successfully the material with enough effort.

I can't help but to wonder about what would have happened had we sent them on to first grade.  Right now, it is literally unknowable if they would have succeeded.  ((That's really hard for a researcher to accept. I feel like I could know lots of different things by designing the right study))

But I do know that right now, they are doing great.  They are positive, they are succeeding and they are actually LEARNING what they didn't quite get last time.

I think I have to stop second guessing and go with what is empirically valid right now:  they are doing well and re-K is/was the right choice.

I might have to read this post a few times (re-k-read) to make sure it sinks in.

Camping Before I Forget

We had our family camping trip last week.  We started at an academic conference in Pittsburgh, PA, an amazingly beautiful city. Although the number of people smoking was shocking (and that's saying something coming from NC), it's definitely one of the top 10 cities I would live in.

Of course, our family trips end up having a theme.  We don't plan them, but frequently, something happens throughout our trips that we see a linkage over events that gives each trip a special flavor.

The theme for this trip was negative surprises at first that turn out ok.  Hmmmmm?  First night in Pittsburgh, I realized I had left my toiletries bag and Dave had left, um, his duffle bag with all his clothes.  Whoops.  While I went shopping and spent an ungodly amount of money to get the basics, our housesitter FedExed Dave's duffle to him.  ((Note to everyone: the cheap makeup I bought was fine.  But Ana's Potions, the serums, cleansers, and creams I use, cannot be replaced.  And are apparently the best part of my beauty regime)).

So um, yeah.

That theme continued when we arrived at the state park.  We love state parks.  We love the rustic beauty and the ability to let the kids safely roam and explore nature. When we arrived (an hour later than expected b/c Waze took us to hell and we could hear the Deliverance music playing), we did not see rustic nature.  We saw partying.  Young people with poor camping equipment partying in tent sites right on top of each other.  We found the most remote/private site we could and began to talk about leaving as quickly as we could.  That first night, two people got speeding tickets.  Someone nearly backed their boat off the hill over us.  And someone else knocked off the water spigot at the closest place for us to get fresh water.

Le Sigh.

And then, by 9 am Sunday morning, everyone was gone!!  No seriously.  EVERYONE.  We had our section of the campground completely to ourselves!!  The park superintendent told us that one night a week, this park is packed with party people (I added the alliteration) and the rest of the time it is deserted.  Yay for us!!

We found a path to the lake and evidence of a massive flood two weeks earlier. The point of this park is to keep Pittsburgh from flooding; so it floods when necessary.  We walked. We hiked.  We found the beach and swam.  We went to the nature center and flirted with the snakes and mouse.  We ended up happily staying there the whole time.

Of course, though, a theme is not just two events.  Any two points can make a line.  There were additional experiences that made this a memorable trip.  We decided to do a family kayak around the lake.  It was gorgeous and fun, the SECOND time we tried.  The first time, we were out for 10 minutes and it started thundering and the thunder came closer.  We turned around and paddled back as quickly as we could.  Bridget, in particular, was quite frightened.  We went back first thing the next morning and had a blast.  Thinking of getting family kayaks for around here.  ((For all the free time we don't have))

The final experience involved animals.  We are not camping novices.  We know about them there raccoons.  We were shocked that the first night, we didn't see evidence of a raccoon invasion.  Looking back, we believe it was because the raccoons had plenty to choose from and our camp wasn't appealing.

The OTHER nights, though.

The first night it wasn't party central, Dave heard noises and saw our cookies walking down the hill with a new bandit friend.  He was sad to lose the cookies but we've lost worse to more aggressive raccoons.  More humorous was the shout he heard 15 minutes later when one of the novice tent campers in the distance shouted "OH NO YOU DON'T!!!!" and commenced to chasing off these same raccoons from stealing their food.

The final night was definitely an adventure.  I woke with the coyote howled the first time. I woke Dave when the second coyote howled.  Yes, they were nowhere near us, but it's the first time I thought of how thin our tent is.  Then almost immediately we heard Mrawr, mrawr, mrawr, mrawr right outside our tent.

W. T. F.

Had the raccoons gone rabid?!?!?!?  Had the fox we seen earlier stopping by to look for treats!??! NO!!!

It was a small group of feral house cats.  In heat.  Deciding to look for love and enemies at our tent site!!  Two things come from the feral house cats.  One, a great new saying we use all the time.  Whenever we can work in the phrase "Yeah, but they are no feral house cats in heat" we do.  Second, apparently, the coyotes and the feral house cats in heat were enough excitement to permanently disrupt my sleep that night.  I ended up sleep crawling through the tent and shining a flash light and then trying to convince Dave that I saw a mountain lion sitting under our kitchen canopy.  By the time I woke up for good in the morning, I couldn't tell if the mountain lion was all a dream or real, but Dave assured me that there are no mountain lions in WVA and yes, I spent a good portion of the night trying to convince him otherwise.

All said and done, it was a great trip.  And we're going to the NC mountains next weekend to see the Perseids meteor shower!

Happy Happy Joy Joy

We received the letter from the twins' school yesterday:  the twins will be held back for Kindergarten.  I know I must be 1 in a million to be so happy and relieved about this news.  It was our first real fight for our children's future, but as Dave's cousin says, it won't be our last.  We have to pace ourselves.  Thank you all for your support on this big issue, which most of you probably wouldn't do.
It is true that we don't have to agree on anything to be kind to one another.  We appreciate your kindness and support.  Also, we kindly suggest you keep your summer babies out of kindergarten for an extra year.  Forgive me:  you know I'm a professor and I have to profess what I think I know.

Speaking of "kind," let's do the Christopher update, which is kind of working.  I say "Kind Of" because it is SO MUCH BETTER, but it is not perfect. Yesterday, in particular, sucked mightily.  You know why?  Guess which child refused to eat anything but fruit and carbohydrates all day long? No protein knowingly passed through his lips yesterday.  Can you say Blood Sugar Drop?  Dave suggests we live in a Snickers commercial.  Pretty much, this is a dramatic re-enactment of our house on carbohydrate days.

Um, yeah.

The good news is that Christopher willingly accepts going to his room for a minute or two to calm down.  Kazdin's big thing is that time outs should not be long.  Longer is not more effective.  For Christopher, honestly, just walking into his room and getting on his bed means he has accepted that he accepts our authority.  Dudes, that is a huge step forward.

Christopher no longer completely loses it multiple times a day. We have gotten better and quicker at "If you do this positive thing, you immediately earn that positive reward."  That's a good thing altogether. It really is just when he is tired and hungry.  And we don't run a short order kitchen, so what's to eat is what's to eat.

Also, Baby No (as he was referred to as soon as he could speak) will suddenly dislike his favorite food to "punish us," I assume for cooking it.  He once threatened to leave us to move in with a family that cooks food that he likes.  Had he been older, not at all sensitive, and I in any way didn't care about the repercussions,  I would have replied, "Be my guest."

So, all in all, we're doing better. I have to better at sneaking in protein, of which homemade yogurt shakes and peanut butter have tons and Baby No still likes them.

What I hate is that he is not getting pleasure out of these episodes.  He doesn't like himself when he is bad.  No kid does.  We all have to remember that.  He's not losing it because he likes it.  He's losing it because he's lost control and somehow we have learned to reward that behavior.

OH!  OH!  OHHHHHH!!!!  I forgot THE MOST important thing we've learned during this process.  It IS rewarding for him, even though it's negative attention.  The most powerful thing we can do is leave the room (or have him leave the room) for a few minutes.

The most impressive event was one night when he, Bridget and I were going to sleep and he had moved from his normal place, drawn a line in bed, and was kicking Bridget every time she got near it.  This was the end of  a 15 minute episode of bad behavior.  I remembered to leave.  So Bridget and I got up and went to her room so he could have the whole bed to himself. YOU WOULD THINK that he was thrilled we were gone.

But 5 to 10 minutes later, we heard a plaintive, "Mommy, would you please come back?!"

"Why, sure, honey!!" You *cannot* hold grudges with this method.

We came back, the bed was cleaned, he was in his right place, and he snuggled up hard to me as we all went to sleep.

It's the last time we've had that particular problem.

Happy happy joy joy, indeed.

Knowing for real vs. conservative guessing

So everything is fine.

In fact, everything is so fine, we've stopped Bridget's antibiotics.

Based on worries and suggestions, we did call her pulminologist who ordered a chest x-ray.  At the same time, Bridget's temp went back down to normal, even though she said her ribs still hurt.  She isn't coughing.

This morning:  normal temp, no coughs, pain in throat only, and chest x-rays showed no pneumonia and only some chest wall thickening possibly due to a virus and her asthma reactions.

So, again, we stopped antibiotics.

So the summary:
*Pain in ribs and shoulder
*Low grade fever that disappeared and came back strong then left again
*Junky cough for only a few days
*Very good oxygen numbers.

It seems like a normal virus (except for the spike on Monday morning).  I know atelectasis can sometimes cause fever, but it's only done so once for us and that was in the worst hospital event.

We have no idea what caused her truly severe pain.  I'm taking it as a data point.  If she never has pain in her ribs again, then this was some weird funky thing.  But if she does, perhaps it is some new manifestation of her funky problems

I know in comparing risks of x-ray to the risks of un-needed antibiotics, people have differing opinions.  We know kids are way over-prescribed antibiotics and it has long term effects.  We don't hear of kids being over-prescribed x-rays and it's been over 2 years since her last one.  I have a feeling she'll end up back in the hospital at some point, and I'd rather save her sensitivity for antibiotics when she needs it.  Not just to be conservative because she has funky lungs.

So there.

Of course, Conor started running a low grade fever this morning.  Kit had it last week.  Apparently, it's going through our house.

And no one is seriously ill.  Thank the god(desse)s.

Same? Different? Squirrel-o-rama

So back from the second doctor's visit in two days.  Bridget has some pain in her "waist" (really, her ribs) when she breathes.  That's been going on for about 5 days, and it keeps switching sides. Also, she says when it's on  her right side, it also hurts her shoulder.

She had a low grade fever for about 24 hours, Friday to Saturday.  It went away and came back at 102.1* this morning.

First doc said she'd pulled a muscle and that's why her ribs hurt.  :-/

Second doc said today we could hear some depressed breathing in her lower right lung lobe.  (I'm sure "lung lobe" is not a correct phrase.  It sounds really odd to say:  Lung lobe.  Lung lobe. Lung lobe.  So I shall say it repeatedly) To be fair, yesterday Bridget said her left side hurt and today, she said her right.  First doc didn't spend any time at all on her right side because Bridget didn't say it hurt.

We're starting her on antibiotics in case the depressed lower lung lobe is antibiotics. LOWER LUNG LOBE, FTW!

I have to be honest with you:  Dave and I really feel like we've been here before.  Diagnosis of pneumonia that really is atelectasis and, well, things happen.  However, Dave and I are no longer novices with Bridget's lung lobes.

We've got a pulse oximeter and we know how to use it.  We have a top notch pulminologist who will be our next step, should her oxygen numbers start to go down. We have a pediatric team that knows she's funky.

The crummy part is that neither option is great here:  Bacterial pneumonia or virus-causing atelectasis. Yeah, at this point, pneumonia is the better choice.  I guess??

Blergh.

No one is naive here.  This may be the end of the diagnosis and we're done.  Or, we may be at the start of something.

Blergh again.

Mondor's Disease: A Punny

Dadgummit!

I forgot the funniest part of spraining my boob, I mean, self-diagnosing with Mondor's disease.

When I first started searching google and explaining it to Dave, I kept saying Mordor's disease.  That will only make sense to you if you are a JRR Tolkein fan.

Mordor's Disease.

Mordor.

Mordor.

MORDOR!

That means my boob is the Eye of Sauron!

UNSEE THAT, PEOPLE!!!

A Shitty Couple of Weeks

It has been tough here in the Mother Thing household.  As I was telling a friend yesterday, Conor is the only one who doesn't have something big and possibly bad going on.  Four out of five is not good.

So humorous deconstruction of reality.  Let's go!

First up:  Dave!  Dave had outpatient surgery last week.  In the interest of HIPAA, I'll let Dave share the reasons why, but it was NOT elective surgery.  And while it was outpatient, he has had some significant down time.  We expected that.  Sort of.  I must admit that when I came back to the recovery room, his state coming out general anesthesia was pretty pitiful.  It's the first time I thought:  How am I going to walk this 6'4" dude into our home and onto a bed.  He went back to work on Monday.  But Tuesday came home early with a similar look of pain and fatigue.  He's working from home today.  It's supposed to be a 2 week recovery and we're hoping we're about halfway through it.

Next: Me!!  I had a bit of a breast cancer scare, although probably not as much as I thought it was. It started about 3 weeks ago with some serious pain in my breast.  YES!  You are correct!!  99% of the time, breast pain is NOT cancer!  Breast cancer doesn't hurt!  But the 1% of the time that it *is* cancer, it's very bad.  I waited two weeks for my annual GYN visit and the doc scheduled me for a diagnostic mammogram which was a week later.  I *really* wanted one ASAP and they moved it up to two days later.  YAY!!  Nothing on the mammogram and the radiologist was not amused by my coming in so quickly.  I really don't care.  Really.  No one lost out on my getting in quicker.  Doctor's advice?  Stop poking your boob.

So, three days later....I SWEAR I WAS NOT POKING MY BOOB!!  Instead, I was going "OW! This bra really hurts; let me pull it off the sore spot!!" and felt something.  It wasn't/isn't a lump.  Instead, it's more like a cord or a tendon or ligament.  I haven't had biology since high school, so honestly, I don't know if one's boobage has ligaments.  It doesn't.  I did not sprain my boob.

Instead, Dr. Google suggests that I have "Mondor's Disease."  Basically, a superficial vein in my boob has a blood clot in it and has caused the rest of the vein to swell up and harden. It is believed to be benign, sometimes painful, and rare.  It is seen less than 1% of the time in breast clinics.  There is really no treatment except waiting for it to heal itself.

So I called my OB/GYN to tell him about the cord I'd found in my boob, who gave me the same advice as when I saw him in the office:  take ipuprofen and if it still hurts, he'll recommend biopsy surgery in 2 months.

Huh.

That's not what is going on.  I am annoyed.  I potentially have this rare but still benign problem and his advice is take two aspirin and call me in the morning?  Ok.  Fine.  It's rare, it's benign, and he clearly doesn't believe me.  Whatevs.

So then the Twinnies.  This is the part that has been keeping me up at night and making me so anxious that just typing that caused my stomach to drop out.  It is possible they could still be be promoted to 1st grade.  Despite our wishes and their poor performance on standardized tests, their scores are low but within normal range.  So they *could* go forward.  Further, I feel like my emails about our comfort with them being retained got their care team in trouble, something I had no intention of doing. I'll be honest with you.  Seeing all the other kindergartners graduate to first grade makes me sad.  But they are not ready to go up.  And I still believe holding them back is a good idea. We are anxiously awaiting the final word.

Also, don't email anyone in the public sphere.  Just don't.  Call.  Unless you want your email to be part of a permanent record that could bite you or someone else in the butt, DO NOT EMAIL.  DON'T DO IT.  Unless you *do* want it in the permanent, public record, then feel free.

Blergh.

Summer school is over at the end of this week.  I'm teaching two classes, one of which is a new prep.  With all this other stuff going on!!!  YIKES!!!

I hope the rest of the summer is boring and fun.

Week #3 on Parental Reboot

So we've gone through three weeks of our Kazdin's Positive Parenting Reboot to keep Christopher from throwing a tantrum.  We have learned a couple of important lessons thus far.

1)  We're not done yet.  We've made significant progress.  In fact, I would have been shocked three weeks ago how much better things are now than they were then. But we're still dealing with a hair trigger temper and a quick devolution to 5 year old hell.

2) OH MY GOSH.  If there any indication that positive parenting works and punishment focused parenting does not, it was our own N=1 design last Friday. For some reason, Christopher started off on the wrong foot stealing Bridget's bagel at breakfast.  I told him he would only have one opportunity to earn points that day instead of two.  He screeched and screamed and I took the second opportunity away too.  ((This is a good example of how I had been parenting before))  I realized I had just experienced a brain fart and gave him one opportunity back.  That afternoon, he demanded two opportunities and I said No.  That night, he got mad at us and would only sleep on the ottoman at the end of the bed.  I should have ignored him ((MORE LATER ON THIS)) and instead I tried to engage him.  He gently (but  it still happened) slapped me on the face.  I grabbed his arm and forcefully told him not to ever do that again.  He screamed that I could never be a mother with that tone of voice.  He then became hysterical, screaming and kicking and throwing and sobbing.

YIKES!

I'm giving you that example to show What Not To Do and What We Have Been Dealing with.

He and Dave went to bed elsewhere and I slept with Conor and Bridget.  About an hour later, I couldn't stand it and switched places with Dave.  ((It's a commune around here on weekends))  In the middle of the night, Christopher and I woke up and kissed and made up.  In the morning, he told me that he had been very, very sad the night before.  I had re-read Kardin's book and realized that my approach to take away his opportunity to be good was probably not going to win me mother of the year.  Not doing that again.

3.  Who the heck knew IGNORING was so freaking effective?!?!?!?!?!  He was doing his "No, I'm Not!!!" where he basically refuses to do anything we ask the other night.  So we all left the room.  He was refusing to go to bed and Bridget, Conor, and I just left.  Dave came in about 15 minutes later and told him it was time to brush his teeth and go to bed, and he hopped up and did it.  I SHIT YOU NOT!!!    Right?????  Afterwards, Dave and I just looked at each other and went, "How positively reinforcing is THAT?!"  For us, yes!!  Ignoring is a good thing.  Christopher told me "No, I'm Not!!!" the other day and then immediately backed down.  I will freaking take it.

4.  Three weeks in, we're already starting to taper out the points and rewards system.  He received his fancy new Lego set for being good for 2 1/2 weeks and earning enough points.  Since then, we've run out of treats for the goody bag and we're just sort of doing the practice and points as we need to.  I need to read up what is next.  I don't know, but he's not All Done yet.

So, yeah.  Big steps forward here.  We haven't changed any underlying cognitive processes here. I am suspecting that Christopher is extremely sensitive and instead of directing his pain inward, he directs it outward. I think it means that for most of our parenting, we're going to have to focus on helping him do right instead of punishing him for doing wrong.  That doesn't mean punishments are out.  But it means focusing more on rewarding what we want to do than relying on threats of punishments to stop what we don't  like.

I'd love to hear how you all are doing on your parenting challenges.

Parenting Intervention(s)

So, last Friday we started our first "Parenting Intervention" with one of the children.  Specifically, Christopher, aka Kit (mainly because that's a boatload easier to type, write and text).  So our little moose, Christopher/Kit, is a very sensitive boy.  And he experiences pretty big feelings:  high highs and lowwwww lows.

And when he gets angry (frequently because I tell him no, he can't have a homemade yogurt "milkshake" and instead he can have a banana), he turns into a holy terror.  He screams, he hits, he spits, he bites, he says he hates us, he says we hate him, he goes right up to but does not cross the line of destroying important toys/plates/knick knacks.

We have been using time outs as punishment.  And really, it's also been a strategy for him to get ahold of himself when he is truly losing it. Here's the thing though:  as the time outs become more frequent and longer, at some point you have to note that the behavior is not changing.  Our parenting strategy is not working.  ((And for spanking/hitting advocates, the results would likely be the same with just more anger on his part and then more force on ours.  Not a road we're going to travel down))

So I wish we had been the ones to recognize that more times outs, longer timeouts, or more/longer/extreme timeouts (or any punishment)  without a change in behavior means that the parenting strategy is becoming less effective.  But we did not.  Instead this was an observation in the first chapter of our new parenting guru, Dr. Alan Kazdin, developmental psychologist, Yale professor, and author of The Kazdin method for Parenting the Defiant Child.

I have to be honest with you.  While I appreciate pediatrician's parenting advice, as a psychologist, I sometimes think they should stay in their own lane.  So when I find a psychologist who offers applied advice based on 30 years of published, peer reviewed research, who was also APA president (less impressive to me, but there it is), I'm going to listen.

Also, WHOOPSIE DAISY!!!  Although I spend a good portion of my reinforcement theory lectures talking about how punishment only stops a behavior and only positive reinforcement CHANGES a behavior...I FORGOT!!!  Yeah, we professors do that sometimes.

So, what have we been doing?  We have focused on the Positive Opposite of the tantrums ("To ask nicely and to remain calm no matter the answer").  We have ENTHUSIASTICALLY!!!!!!!!! praised every positive practice and every actual "asking" episode.  We have immediately given check marks on his scorecard.  We have provided goodies and rewards for both low level points (one good episode and he gets to go to the regular goody bag) and higher level accumulated points (2 1/2 days of good episodes and delaying reward lets him go to the BIG goody bag).  We have provided goodies for the other kids to get when he does well, which allows him to be the family hero.

In 5 days, he's moved from frequent goat to frequent goody.  He still gets mad and he's still making poor choices.  But he is SO MUCH BETTER.  When he gets ready to lose it, he can handle himself a little better.  When he loses a point or I tell him he only gets to earn 2 points instead of 4 for the day, he agrees with it.

We're only 1 week into this and it apparently takes about 2 months to get the new behavior to become a habit and phase out the rewards, but we are really happy.  It's truly a family intervention.  We are all trying hard to help Kit do well. And he loves the attention he is getting for doing well.  Positive reinforcement is SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL than punishment.

It's exciting to see this in action.  And it's exciting that this is based on both strong theory and a great deal of good research.  This is one of those blog posts I hope can help others make effective changes in their child's behavior.  Leave a message or email if you have more questions.  We'll be updating more about this as we go through the 8 weeks of intervention.

Spring-ish

Spring is finally arriving in Charlotte.  We've been spreading mulch and,for the first time, I have successful tomato, pepper, and eggplant seedlings.  I'm putting out chard and kale tomorrow I'm hoping to start planting carrot, lettuce, beets, and radishes in the next week.

It used to be that I'd start the spring garden over UNC Charlotte's spring break (which is always the first week of  March).  But I figured out last night that it's been years since I've done that.

7 years ago, I had my colon resectioned due to diverticulitis.
6 years ago, I was on bed rest with the twins.
5 years ago, I had 8 month old twins and I was a zombie.
4 years ago....I ENJOYED SPRING IN MY GARDEN.
3 years ago, Christopher had  been in the hospital and I was catching up from that.  I think I sprung a little.
2 years ago, Bridget started her hospital odyssey and I know for a fact that Spring sprung the 10 days from when we entered until we left.
Last year, no one was in the hospital, I was still in recovery mode, and it was still cold in March.  I really didn't have the emotional energy for a big garden and I kept expecting that every cough would send us back in the hospital for a week.

Now?  Now, I'm having a lot of fun getting my hands dirty.  Bridget is coughing.  She is actually coughing quite a bit right now.  She is coughing enough that her classmates ask why she coughs so much more than they do.  ((Frowny face))  And she's coughing enough that we're checking her numbers and they are 'ok'.  Not great, but ok.

BUT.  (all my friends have a big but)  We know what to do now.  We have prednisone at the house.  We have a recent history of everything turning out ok without low O2 numbers.

And we have, what feels like, the first spring in a bazillion years where we can hang and play and enjoy the sunshine.

It feels like it's been a really, really long time.