It has been tough here in the Mother Thing household. As I was telling a friend yesterday, Conor is the only one who doesn't have something big and possibly bad going on. Four out of five is not good.
So humorous deconstruction of reality. Let's go!
First up: Dave! Dave had outpatient surgery last week. In the interest of HIPAA, I'll let Dave share the reasons why, but it was NOT elective surgery. And while it was outpatient, he has had some significant down time. We expected that. Sort of. I must admit that when I came back to the recovery room, his state coming out general anesthesia was pretty pitiful. It's the first time I thought: How am I going to walk this 6'4" dude into our home and onto a bed. He went back to work on Monday. But Tuesday came home early with a similar look of pain and fatigue. He's working from home today. It's supposed to be a 2 week recovery and we're hoping we're about halfway through it.
Next: Me!! I had a bit of a breast cancer scare, although probably not as much as I thought it was. It started about 3 weeks ago with some serious pain in my breast. YES! You are correct!! 99% of the time, breast pain is NOT cancer! Breast cancer doesn't hurt! But the 1% of the time that it *is* cancer, it's very bad. I waited two weeks for my annual GYN visit and the doc scheduled me for a diagnostic mammogram which was a week later. I *really* wanted one ASAP and they moved it up to two days later. YAY!! Nothing on the mammogram and the radiologist was not amused by my coming in so quickly. I really don't care. Really. No one lost out on my getting in quicker. Doctor's advice? Stop poking your boob.
So, three days later....I SWEAR I WAS NOT POKING MY BOOB!! Instead, I was going "OW! This bra really hurts; let me pull it off the sore spot!!" and felt something. It wasn't/isn't a lump. Instead, it's more like a cord or a tendon or ligament. I haven't had biology since high school, so honestly, I don't know if one's boobage has ligaments. It doesn't. I did not sprain my boob.
Instead, Dr. Google suggests that I have "Mondor's Disease." Basically, a superficial vein in my boob has a blood clot in it and has caused the rest of the vein to swell up and harden. It is believed to be benign, sometimes painful, and rare. It is seen less than 1% of the time in breast clinics. There is really no treatment except waiting for it to heal itself.
So I called my OB/GYN to tell him about the cord I'd found in my boob, who gave me the same advice as when I saw him in the office: take ipuprofen and if it still hurts, he'll recommend biopsy surgery in 2 months.
That's not what is going on. I am annoyed. I potentially have this rare but still benign problem and his advice is take two aspirin and call me in the morning? Ok. Fine. It's rare, it's benign, and he clearly doesn't believe me. Whatevs.
So then the Twinnies. This is the part that has been keeping me up at night and making me so anxious that just typing that caused my stomach to drop out. It is possible they could still be be promoted to 1st grade. Despite our wishes and their poor performance on standardized tests, their scores are low but within normal range. So they *could* go forward. Further, I feel like my emails about our comfort with them being retained got their care team in trouble, something I had no intention of doing. I'll be honest with you. Seeing all the other kindergartners graduate to first grade makes me sad. But they are not ready to go up. And I still believe holding them back is a good idea. We are anxiously awaiting the final word.
Also, don't email anyone in the public sphere. Just don't. Call. Unless you want your email to be part of a permanent record that could bite you or someone else in the butt, DO NOT EMAIL. DON'T DO IT. Unless you *do* want it in the permanent, public record, then feel free.
Summer school is over at the end of this week. I'm teaching two classes, one of which is a new prep. With all this other stuff going on!!! YIKES!!!
I hope the rest of the summer is boring and fun.