It's Been A While

We've been busy.

Dave is building a tree house.













I'm working in an amazingly prolific garden.














The twins had their second birthday.














And we found a mummified snake in a box of clothing during a yard sale.














Things have been happening around here.

Also, I taught summer school, which is a lot of fun (getting to know students) but a BOATLOAD of work. Honestly, I have not had time to do much of anything besides make it through the next 30 minutes for about 6 weeks now.

In any case, I thought a pictorial blog would bring you up to date. We're going to the beach next week for a Real Vacation--the first one in a couple of years. I hope to have a few hours to put up more pictures and talk about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Birth and Death

I am so lame. I've been wanting to blog for weeks, but the ability to get to this computer (with the pictures) during a time when I had a few minutes to write and be inspired enough to say something interesting.... Well. Here I am.

What I've wanted to be posting first starts with this picture. Dave put in raised beds in the garden for me, and the day after a bunny mowed down our first round of beets and lettuce, added this beautiful, architectural bunny and rat fighting fence.

I love it. I love my garden with a feeling I did not know I had. I have missed actively gardening for about 4 years now. Three years ago was the diverticulitis; 2 years ago was hospitalization for twins; 1 year ago, I can't really remember, but I'm going to assume I was occupied with my twinnies. Nothing happened in the garden last year.

But this year, we've got lots of growth in a beautiful, beautiful space. I am much a believer of the intersection of form and function. It's got to be beautiful and it's got to work. Dave's handyman, craftiness has made gardening the most pleasant extra-work thing I do. Thank you, honey!!

So that's birth: the birth of a garden and the rebirth of my life outside of the twins.

What about death? Well, there is an interesting thing I only recently learned. After my first miscarriage, the chair of my department told a group of people at the time that my miscarriage--"It was for the better."

............

.................?

..................??!?!?!?!?!??!?!

What the fuckety fuck???

First, I got really upset when I heard that. I will be honest with you: it's the angriest I have been, perhaps in my entire life. The death of my baby was for the better? What????? Alcohol was likely involved with the anger considering I heard this during a casual happy hour, so let's blame that a bit for the anger.

But let's go a little further. And this is where I can easily move from being generous or nutty. The generous interpretation: He was making one of those stupid comments people make when women have miscarriages. It's entirely possible and, not unlikely, given his social skills.

The nutty interpretation (and by that I mean, I look like a completely paranoid nutjob) involves my state, at that point, of being an assistant (i.e., untenured) professor: it was better for my career that I didn't have another child. People bristle at that interpretation, but I think it's reasonable that he meant that, too. I am not trying to be coy about what was going on at the time, but for Dave and me, we believe this is an entirely reasonable interpretation. It's only nutty to those who weren't around us during that time.

He may have even meant a combination of the nutty interpretation and the more generous interpretation. A dead baby is a win-win for me!! Lucky me!

(((sigh)))

After I sobered up and got some distance from learning this information, I had a glorious revelation. And indeed, it came while I was walking back from my garden: I have everything I've ever wanted. I have my dream job, with my dream colleagues (mostly). I live in my dream house and I have my dream family. He's no longer my chair. He no longer works in my department. He no longer works at the university, and, he's not even in the country anymore.

So, yeah. I wish I could report back on some insight on forgiveness that I had. I don't have one. I'm not a good enough person to experience forgiveness that involves reconciliation and new close relationship with the "offending person". No. I think for me, forgiveness in this situation is just indifference. It's a feeling of "meh", which, I have to admit, is a pleasant one to have.

UPDATE: I spoke with my friend about his comment after she read this post and my "nutty" interpretation was the correct one. Fortunately, several of the feminists in the room (and the discussion was on INCREASING DIVERSITY AT OUR UNIVERSITY!) called him on this completely inappropriate statement.

Well, Poop

What an amazing weekend. There is something about the south in the spring that is prettier than any other season in any other part of the country I've lived in. All the flowering dogwoods and cherry treas, vibrant pink azaleas, and, um, flowering flowers are so pretty after the gray of winter. But what I think is even prettier is all the shades of green from the trees as they start to get leaves again. By the middle of summer, it's all one hot, oppressive shade of green. But now, it's all vibrant colors and 15 shades of green that make me so happy to move from winter to spring.

And we FINALLY have the house and the yard in a livable condition. When we moved back in November '09, the yard was completely destroyed from all the workers and their equipment. The vegetable garden had been mostly neglected and with less than 1 year old twins, we made the easy decision to neglect it again. Even the perennial got no attention besides mulch and superficial weeding.

Worse than all of that was that we didn't have a deck anymore on the back of the house and it wasn't clear where we should put our outdoor table and chairs to hang out and "enjoy" our backyard.

Who the hell am I kidding. There was not a lot of "enjoying" last year. What were we thinking having twins and remodeling the house at the same time? I don't know how we could have done it any other way but holy crap, that was a rough time.

IN ANY CASE, for the last month, we've been working in our yard. Dave put in cedar raised beds for the garden and just this weekend we finished putting up a gorgeous architectural bunny and rat proof fence (designed by Dave's DIY Home By Design--available for hire and/or babysitting services, inquire within). Pictures to follow; they are on the other computer.

It's been wonderful getting the yard to where I thought it should have been last year. Who knew, really, how much work a remodel is *after* the remodel!?

But even better--the TWINS! Are EASIER!! They PLAY!! With each other!!! With Conor!!! And even though a re-enactment of Bridget at any point during the day would include the words "Mommy. Mommy!! MOMMY!! MOMMMYYYY! MOMMY! Mommy. Mommy!! MOMMY!!" we can do things when they are awake and that is a freedom I am excited about.

Speaking of freedom, both twins have shown some interest in potty training. I think they are really young, but they want to sit on the potty. And we're happy to let them do it.

Yesterday, we thought, Hey!! It's warm out! Let's give them some freedom and let them run around without their diapers on and practice sitting on the potty. What's the worst that could happen?

What is the worst, indeed.

It was not more than 5 minutes before Bridget started running around the backyard with her diaper in hand. Fine. She wants to play with her undies; I wonder what the neighbors will think. At this point she still had her jumper on and I thought it would be good to take it off in case she peed and got her clothes wet. I ran after her and she ran to steps outside the garage.

I scooper her up. "What is that smell," I thought. "Did she toot?"

Ummmm, no.

I looked down at a poop on the stairs to the garage. Did the cat get outside?? Did some other apparently large cat poop on our steps?

There were olives. No cat I know eats olives. Bridget on the other hand. . .

YIKES! I yelled and made Dave come over and look because that's exactly the kind of wife and mother that I am.

I ran back inside to get some wipes to clean Bridget up and finally take off her jumper.

I see Patches wending his way towards the garage, curious at this new smell.

LEAVE IT!! LEAVE IT!!! Patches slinks away.

I clean up Bridget. And then I go to clean up the steps to the garage.

What the.....???? Where the.....??? PATCHES!??!!?! PATCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd strongly suggest you don't let Patches kiss you any time soon. I'm just saying.

A Few Minutes

Both babies are down and I'm getting a few things checked off my list. And oddly, one of the things to check off my list of things to do today is to make a list of all the things we need to do in the house and yard this year. There are a lot of things we need to do just to finish the remodel!

Surprisingly, we have a lot of things to do in the yard. The contractors, bless their hearts, parked their trucks all over our yard and our grass, which used to be the envy of everyone in the neighborhood, is gone. There are issues in the back yard, too, and we've go to figure out where we're going to put all our outdoor furniture which used to go on our (now nonexistent) deck.

The good news, at least, is that we can now permanently cross off our list "Fix Leaky Roof" because for a while, that's going to be someone else's responsibility.

In other news, we heard from one of Conor's teachers about Conor's views on being a big brother. A classmate is going to have a little sister and the classmate is not happy about it. According to the teacher, Conor told him that it's fun having a little sister and that being a big brother is nice, too. The highlight of her version of the conversation was "Your parents will like you more because you can be useful."

Oooookay. That made us feel like crap. I don't think he meant it in the adult interpretation of that story. Cuz we like him plenty when he's just sitting there. However, he does like having things to do which are "his" responsibility with the babies. Still. As a psychologist, I'm going to blame it on having a high need for achievement.

Even better, when we asked him about that conversation, what he told us he said "When you're a big brother, you get to go to your room and shut the door when the babies start crying." Great! That's not much better.

OK. Bridget's up. Must go.

(Almost) Victory Garden

Well, we did it.  We took the plunge.  

No, we didn't finally buy a gun and shoot the bunnies.  Instead, we put a fence around the garden.  And for the first time in a really long time, I now have lettuce, chard, beets, fennel, and broccoli growing in my garden.  It has been so very long since I've had the positive reinforcement of planting something and have it grow that I keep staring at these very small and common seedlings and feeling quite proud of myself.  

It took two days of hot, sweaty work but I think I might actually have my garden back.

Of course, there were some nibbles off of two of the broccoli plants and we suspect a rat.  Indeed, Dave set several traps and this morning, the leaves were all still on the broccoli, but there was one less rat.  

We are also quite pleased now that should we choose, we could put rat poison in one secure corner of the garden and Patches would be safe.  We could also electrify the fence (with a very, very low voltage--static to us, big zap to bunny/rat).  But at this point, we're sticking with the regular fence and the rat traps.

And we are greenly happy.  

I'm not sure if anyone has noticed the Twitter on the side of my blog.  I am finding that it is a lot easier to post a quick tweet than a full on post.  Feel free to check back in to the blog or even follow me, if you'd like.  I am fully aware that my life is not *that* interesting, but the mother thing does have more to say than she has time to in the blog.  

And for those other academics out there who may be reading, let me share that this first semester after tenure is crazy busy.  I thought I'd be all sunshine and butterflies, but lord, stuff is going on and it feels crazier now than it ever did.  The good news is that it's just a boat load less stressful.

G*ddamned Bunnies

I am not going to garden any more until we can fix the bunnies.  And by "fix the bunnies", I do fully recognize that I have the capacity to make organic bunny stew. I bought some broccoli the other day to plant in the garden and before I could even get it in the ground, the bunnies ate it to the nub.  Then I bought some more and was able to actually get in in the ground and cover it with a "bunny repellant" cloth before the bunnies ate them.  

That's when I figuratively threw in my garden hoe and said that's it.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  I am tired of spending 5 to 10 hours a week in my garden just to provide some effing bunnies a free, all-you-can-eat buffet. So I'm done until we can get a bunny-proof fence around the garden.  I'm just not going to do it.

So there.

In other news, we're moving forward on both our house remodel and our rain garden.  In my cranky state after our return from California, I whined that I wanted to see progress at least on one of our major life goals this fall.  

But perhaps my main life goal right now really is the irradication of all bunnies near our house.  I truly hate me some damn bunnies.   I'm telling you that fantasies of bunny beatings are somewhat appealing right now.

This and That

I know that, according to the rules of good blogging, I'm supposed to have a point when I post, a shining insight into life as a mother thing. One, do not assume this is a "good" blog. And two, I shine not.

Instead, I kill rats. HA! 4 and a half rats dead. Two died right off the bat, umm, right off the trap. We found a half eaten rat carcass after our trip back to West VA. Gross, I know, but happily dead. We killed another this week. Dave noted it was fat. I noted she was pregnant. I felt bad about that until I saw a rat dive into our potato bed, and then my sentiment was to kill more the rats before they get their rat cooties on my potatoes.

Scarlett has been sick lately. I told Dave that if she "passed", I wanted a kitten for my birthday. However, last night he mentioned that he thought a pellet rifle would be useful, too. I seriously thought about it. How about a kitten and a pellet gun? That says a lot about the kind of southern woman I am.

*****************************************

The other night, Conor and I were snuggling before bed. He looked up and saw his Thomas the Tank catalog in one of his new bed's cubby holes! He loves to read the catalog as he goes to sleep and I think starting a habit of reading in bed before the age of 4 is pretty darn good.

"Do you want to read it?" I ask.

"No," he insists. "I want to snuggle with you."

He puts his hands on either side of my face and gives me a kiss.

(((pause)))

He looks deep into my eyes and then he begins pushing my face away. "You can go now."

Ok. Thanks! I won't let the door hit me on the way out!

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Steve and Barry's. Steve and Barry's? Folks, do you know about Steve and Barry's? God bless America, people. Do you KNOW about Steve and Barry's?

I surely didn't until yesterday. The NY Times recently featured Steve and Barry's as having some of the best quality cheap clothes in the US. Their goal is to have Old Navy, Gap and (sometimes) Banana Republic quality clothes FOR LESS THAN $10 EACH! Their shirts are definitely Old Navy quality. But their pants are NICE. And I bought a fitted Bitten dress for $8.98 yesterday. And it fits well. And the Bitten pants I bought fit well and they are pretty!!

I bought Mossimo shorts from Target last weekend for $16 and an Isaach Mizrhai sweater for $24 and neither of those have the quality material or construction as the Bitten clothes I bought.

Seriously. Everything in the store was $8.98. And it fit. And it looked pretty on me.

Wow. Dead rats and new clothes. What a great week this has been.

God Bless Neem

I have learned a lot this year in my gardening. First, neem is the best thing invented by trees in India and Pakistan. It's sort of like that other bug killer I love, BT: it kills the bad bugs and doesn't harm the good ones and has not effect on humans. My tomatoes were being attacked by aphids and after two weeks of neem application, my tomatoes are all happily climbing up their trellises.

Yes! I've got my tomatoes and cucumbers on trellises. Thank you Dave for making that for me! Theoretically, they should take up less space and keep the fruit healthier. I will tell you that both of those vine-y plants are growing up and I think this actually may work!!

I've also kind of figured out who needs extra fertilizer (asparagus) and who doesn't (tomatoes). I'm growing potatoes under 12 inches of straw. I found out today, I've probably put too much on there, but oh, well. I'm learning; I have not yet fully learned.

We have killed three rats now. It's nearly 100 degrees and bunnies often from the heat, so I have my fingers crossed for some dead rabbit soon. Groundhogs and chipmunks are not a problem here in NC, but I wish for their death, should others find them to be a nuisance.

We're still having problems--cabbage moths has eaten more of my bok choi than I have and our turnips are really bitter. (I'm thinking that's b/c they are better in the fall than the spring/summer) The onions I planted in the spring were still tiny; I think I should be planting them (along with the garlic) in the fall. So I shall.

I'm getting a pint of killer ladybugs tomorrow and we are thinking of buying beneficial nematodes to spray in the garden and yard.

I also found out that you can freeze dill and basil but not cilantro. I even bought a special freezer air vacuum thingy to help save some of our garden.

I still completely suck as a gardener. But I'm learning. I take a little step forward each year.

ETA: I totally forgot to blog about my whole reason for knowing I'm learning and knowing I need to learn more: flea beetles. They make these lacey little holes in eggplant leaves. I've had them every year and didn't know what was up. Well, it's a flea beetle. And flea beetles die, Die, DIE when exposed to neem. And beneficial nematodes. Who the hell knew?

Peter Rabbit Must Die

Once again showing the NY Times bases its stories on my life, today's lead in the home section is about (sub)urban farmers who resort to killing the rats, bunnies, woodchucks and groundhogs eating their vegetables. I am the target audience of this article considering my progression from "the bunnies deserve their carrot tax" to "Are guns organic?" to "I am going to kill me some motherf*cking bunnies."

Yeah.

So we've taken out two rats. Unfortunately, we've spotted more. We had this same problem last year and I be godd*mned if I'm going to turn my garden into a wildlife buffet.

I'm a wee bit salty tonight, eh?

My master gardener neighbor is currently stalking the bunnies. I really would not be surprised to see this very refined woman whacking a baby bunny with a shovel at this point.

We have declared war. And a pellet gun is not out of the question. Although I did buy a cage to encase the plants with this week. We'll see how that works first.

There's a Rat in the Kitchen, What I'm-a Gonna Do?

I love youtube. I can start singing some song from my youth \, and WHAM! I can watch the video. (WHAM! Ha ha! Get it?!)

So why on earth would I be singing:

"There's a rat in my kitchen, what I'm-a gonna do? There's a rat in my kitchen, what I'm-a gonna do? I'm going to fix that rat, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm going to fix that rat!"

Three guesses and the hint is "Not My Kitchen."

First, I shall describe an afternoon earlier this week while I was working at my computer in my home office. I saw a movement out in the garlic. Now, I love working here lately because I can see the birds pecking around outside and it's quite nice. But as they say in some parts of the south, "That won't no bird."** I scream and run outside to the garden, because I'm an idiot. The rat screams a little ratty scream and then runs....into my rosemary bush!!! About 3 feet from me. Apparently, that's his little rat's nest. And although Friends and neighbors were incredulous, I found a bitten off piece of lettuce near where he'd been.

All this time, I've been trying to keep the bunnies and slugs at bay and my real enemy has been a g*ddamn rat! And you know when the humane, crunchy, granola garden sites tell you to kill the fuckers, well, that's what you do.

Last night, Dave set out some traps, to no avail. I set them back out this morning (keeping Patches inside the whole time) and worked at my computer to wait for the show.

Oh, I got a show alright. I watched as the rat wandered into the lettuce, getting closer and closer to the trap. Then he sniffed it. Then he walked over it and into the garlic finally meandering into the yard. Great. And yes, I have tried yelling at it to get out of my garden, but it ignores me. Apparently, rats acclimate to loud noises.

About 10 minutes after watching the rat mock our attempts to murder it, a BUNNY ran through the garden. What the freaking hell?! Is my garden the Mother Thing Wild Animal Park? I swear I thought Bambi was going to show up next.

You know, I am southern. I could get a little bb gun and sit here at my desk waiting for some interloper to stop by. I'm only half kidding.

**I am fully aware (now) that "That won't no bird" translates to "That will not no bird" but I'm telling you, that's a phrase to most native southerners have heard, if not actually said.

Glorious, Gorgeous Rain

It's really clear that we haven't had a lot of rain around here when I sit in my home office watching this steady rain and am happy. This rain could make a great deal of difference in our drought if it stays steady.

The weather is also coolish. We've had our heat/AC off for nearly 3 weeks now. And the windows we installed last fall may actually let us keep the AC off for another month or so. We can finally get cool air in our kitchen and in our bedroom. We can also hear the birds chirping in the morning which on the one hand is nice, but on the other is a bit annoying. I know the early bird gets the worm. But the early bird might also get a shoe thrown at his head if he doesn't watch it.

I've got most of the garden in including my tomatoes and peppers who I do not think are going to like the 40 degree low they are forecasting tomorrow night. Any suggestions on what to do?

I'm also really, really excited that Dave put up a fancy trellis that we're going to try to grow both the cucumbers and the tomatoes on this year. If we can train them to grow up instead of out, we'll have a lot more room in the garden and supposedly better veggies. I also realized why my carrots have all died. I wasn't supposed to plant them until this weekend, not a month ago. Whoops! I can see the new rhubarb from here and I'm very disappointed with this year's asparagus crop. I did something wrong last year (maybe trimming back the ferns?) and we are not getting much at all this year.

Finally, I hate slugs. I think we have the worms and bunnies under control, but I can now spot slug eatage. And somebody is going to pay for that. I may have gained weight in the last few years, but I be damned if a slug is going to get the better of my garden.

Now, back to the article I'm reading on bribery. Interesting, but not enough so to keep me from checking email.