In case you haven't noticed, there are tons of books for what to expect at puberty, what to expect during pregnancy, and what to do and not do during your children's infancy. But I'll be goddess danged if there is any actual useful guide to what is happening during perimenopause.
One reason for this is could be the fewer numbers of senior women (compared to senior men) in power at medical schools and academia interested in studying what the heck is going on during their shift in life. A second, more cynical view, is that who really gives a flying fig newton about women after they are no longer useful for procreation, amiright???
Anyhoo--here are the things I've noticed as I'm going through The Change.
I am cranky and quick(er) tempered.
I (usually) cannot sleep through the night. Online book club at 4 am, anyone?
Hot flashes can be rolling, in that maybe you have one, maybe you have 6 in a row. Maybe you have them when you cannot sleep, maybe they just spring up during any emotional point.
My belly fat is growing even though my weight is decreasing.
I have jowls.
When outstretched, the lower part of my arms (once known as "triceps") hang down to the spot my boobs used to be.
Quarters at the bottom of socks, people. Quarters at the bottom of socks.
My body's metabolism has changed regarding tendons and ligaments. I don't really know what that means because, as this research article says, "the effect of estrogen on tendons and ligaments is poorly understood" (see earlier paragraph) but basically, what little is known is that it's entirely possible that my frozen shoulder, that stupid boot I wore on my right foot for tendon pain, and the fact that my ginormous bunions are increasing in pain are all due to my "Change" into a used up old hag (society's views, not mine).
And here's the most surprising part: Alcohol. Y'all. Those of you who know me in real life know that I don't mind a glass or three of wine and can generally bounce back without too much problem. Nuh-uh. Not anymore. I thought it was because I was doing a low carb diet. Then I stopped doing that and it didn't get better. I cannot drink anymore without very severe consequences. At this point, I'm on the wagon, occasionally sipping on very diluted drinks or one glass of wine over a long period of time. Because otherwise, my body now considers alcohol as poison. Oh, and the research? You'll be happy to know that drinking does not delay or accelerate menopause (You were very concerned about that, weren't you!?)
Some folks find that drinking increases hot flashes. I do not have that problem. I have just found that I can no longer drink and not have seriously negative effects. So, hot herbal tea for me, baby!
Memory and word recall have become bigger issues. What with all the children, animals, and grad students I have, I basically run through a long list of words and names until I get to some word that might start with the same letter as whomever or whatever I'm trying to talk about. Sometimes I just get the defining characteristics as they are stored in my brain instead of the "Name" I'm supposed to use. Last week in grad class, I just called my students by their research topics.
So here is what you have to look forward to, womenses and some mens! It's not a lot of fun. And I'm pretty sure I've already forgotten some of the more interesting and important aspects I wanted to share with you.
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