I'm having a hard time stringing together much besides I'msotiredI'msotiredI'msotired.
Bridget is back in the hospital and considering she spent last night on 5 liters of oxygen (the max outside of PICU), we're not going home anytime soon. Actually, today they've switched to an oxygen mask, hoping to ween her off of THAT and back onto nasal oxygen tomorrow. All of this really just means: NOT GOING HOME SOON.
So why the f*ckity f*ck are we back in the hospital? AND ON THE TWINS' BIRTHDAY? Good question! We don't know why!! The good news is that because we bought the pulse ox yesterday and saw such horrible readings, we've jumped off the path that would have taken us back into PICU. The bottom of Bridget's lungs are "closed up" now but last time, we didn't get into the hospital until most of her lungs were "closed up." So win for us.
But why this over-reaction to a chest cold? Preemie lungs still affecting her 4 years later. She's hopefully going to grow out of it. And we're likely to be freaking out many times until she does.
IN ANY CASE, I am tired and wired at the same time. I'm waiting for the boys to come over for our first birthday celebration tonight. We'll have another when Bridget gets home. And then the big party, which we're obviously going to have to postpone for a few weeks.
Everything is going to be fine. It just really sucks to be back here. I will say that there is some bittersweet consolation for me that 4 years after I gave birth to her, I can hold onto and love her in the hospital on her birthday. On the twins original day of birth, I only got to see them for about 30 minutes that day due their time in NICU and my recovering from the c-section and my pre-eclampsia. And I didn't get to hold them for the first 4 days of their lives. So on this trip, I am hanging on pretty hard to her when she (and I) need it.