Oh, let's start with the good parts, eh!?
On Saturday, we attended an afternoon party. Conor was adorable, natch. But there was one part where I thought my heart was going to explode from the cuteness he was exuding.
He played badminton.
For some reason, that fact alone does not make other people sink to their knees veritably watching the clouds part as the sunbeam shines upon him and the angels sing a Hallelujah chorus. Those other people are clearly not paying attention, because I think this has to be the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life.
There were actually 4 people playing badminton. One adult (on Conor's team) and two other children around 8 and 9 years old. I have to admit that Conor, despite being the cutest, was not the most talented member of the team. Nonetheless, he kept his eyes on the other team. And every time the girl on the other team swung her racket at the birdie, Conor swung his racket, although not exactly at the birdie. And followed up his swing with a quick run to other side of the net and then back to his assigned spot. Honestly, the birdie was nowhere near him when he swung. It would have bopped him on the head if it had come near him. Still, he "played": he was concentrating on the moves of the other team, he was swinging his racket, he was moving around the court and he had a partner.
I tell you, it was enough to bring me to my knees and have my heart explode. If I had seen him for the first time in my life at that exact moment, I would have fallen in love with him. It was all I could do not to run out, tackle him, and cover him with kisses. And considering how much wine I was drinking at the time, I really did have to restrain myself.
On a much heavier note...
The procedure went fine on Friday. This time I was in out patient surgery at the hospital instead of same day surgery. This time, they also gave me something before they took me into surgery---something like Nubain, I am thinking. It knocked me out so that I barely saw my doctor as we were walking (I was riding) down the hall into the operating room. And it took me a really long time to wake up after the surgery. I actually had a much rougher day after this miscarriage then after the other one because I was so tired and I just wanted to sleep.
Which is, of course, ironic because I can't sleep at all at night now.
There is more that happened including a weird incident where the anesthesiologist dropped off a pair of baby feet on a pin as a rememberance of the baby (WTF?) and there has been great debate among the household about whether that was a misguided gift or just plain fucking stupid. Did I mention that the pin comes from pro-life sources? No? Well, now I just did.
There as also been great debate about whether I had Nubain or not (I really have no idea whether I did or not) but I do know that I felt a lot worse after this procedure than the first one and I simply Could. Not. Wake. Up. whereas before I seem to recall feeling absolutely fine after the procedure. And the nurse admitted, after I said "I'm getting dizzy", to "slipping me something" just before we headed to the surgery. I don't ever want that again. It made recovery so much harder.
So with the great debates, there is clearly stress around the house. Overall, though, we're doing fine.
It's just been more fun to talk about badminton than to talk about losing another pregnancy.
So there.
More on our future plans in the future. Right now, I have to go analyze data for a paper.
Misguided for sure. Possibly flat-out evil as well...you know, depending on the underlying motivation.
ReplyDeleteIf you find yourself dwelling on it, you could always send a note to his (her?) superiors. Surely, given the pro-life tie in, it must violate some aspect of hospital policy on professional conduct or privacy or patients' rights.
Glad to hear you're doing okay right now. We're pulling for you as you come through this.
Badminton it is, then -- made me weak in the knees just reading about it, Anita. I tell ya' your blog is *so* getting me prepped for grandparenting. We've got a badminton court all striped and ready out on the driveway from when our kids were growing up. Maybe I should go out and freshen up those boundary lines, just so we're really ready for the next stage :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear you're (sort of at least) doing OK, Kiddo. Be gentle with yourselves. It's bound to take some time.
Hugs from here
Firstly, I'm sorry to hear the sad news, but I'm glad that you are all doing well despite.
ReplyDeleteNow really, that was some "gift". I mean honestly, WTF? There's got to be someone you can talk to about this and how it should not continue to happen to other patients. That's ridiculous.
I'd definitely bitch about the "gift."
ReplyDeleteI did not understand what you meant when you wrote that your "heart explodes" until I had the Alien. She's recently started babbling "mum mum mum" and, well, my heart is exploding. EXPLODING.
You have been in my thought so much lately. I know this is a very hard time for you, and I wish there was something more I could do than say "I care." I do though.
Sorry to be getting here so late, and add me to the list of people outraged about the tiny-feet pin. It's unconscionable that the anesthesiologist did that. If you've got it in you, I bet a letter would make a big impact.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm so so sorry you're having to go through this again.
Anita,
ReplyDeleteI don't see how there can be any malice attributed to giving of the pin. At worst it might act as a reminder of the baby. Maybe he said something that might imply an ulterior motive?
Myself, I'd be more worried about the nurse giving me medication that I didn't need.
Leo