Sleep

Oh, dear. It's been a while since I've last posted. There's no good reason for this--I'm not in the hospital, everyone is healthy, I'm quite happy staying at home this semester. It's just, well, I'm busy.

There are times when from about 8:00 when Dave leaves until 5:30 when he comes back that I've had about 45 minutes to myself. The twins are doing really well; we don't have a lot of crying. But sometimes, one is awake and needs attention until s/he goes to sleep and then the other wakes up and needs to eat and have some Mommy time.

Right now, they are both asleep. BTW, those of you who are SAHM, feel free to pass on advice on naps, etc. It seems like the afternoon nap is becoming clear. They are both sleeping for a good period in the afternoon and acting quite happy and smilely afterwards. (We appear, at 15 weeks chronological and 9 weeks adjusted to be clearly past the colicky stage). The morning naps are a bit more sketchy. My friends who have been SAHM during this time told me that the morning naps would be the first that are clearly established, but I'm not seeing it. Bridget usually goes to sleep first and naps for a couple of hours. Christopher is more on and off and I can't tell when his morning nap is truly happening.

As for night, well, Oh Joy. Last night was a bit rough but for the last week or so, Bridget usually goes to sleep about 9 pm, wakes up at 3 and 6 for a quick snack and then sleeps until 8 am or so. Christopher goes to sleep between 9:30 and 10 (we've had some horrible later times, but usually then) and then wakes up about, oh, 7:30 or so for his snack. Others might think Bridget waking up at 3 and 6 is rough, but I think it's easy. I bring her into bed, she eats and we're done.

Also, I'm finding that having both babies in bed at the same time is not that difficult. I can't move, but it's not that difficult. Heat seeking missiles that they are, it does not matter where I lie them down initially, soon enough they have scooted across the bed and are glued to my side. I can lie on my back with both babies nestled in my pits or I can be on one side snuggling one while the other spoons me (or spoons my shoulder) from behind. I used to worry that I'd roll on the baby behind me, but as I said, I don't move. If I have to get up, I do a sideways sit up and there you go.

What about Dave? How is he sleeping with the twins in bed? Well, the correct question is how about Dave and Conor. We have a bit of a bed shuffle going on around here. When Dave and I go to bed, all the children are snuggled up tight in their beds. Sometime around 2, Conor comes up and gets Dave and they go downstairs to sleep in the guest room. (We decided 5 in the bed is too crowded). Around 3, Bridget comes to bed. Around 6 (sometimes), Christopher comes to bed. Around 7, Conor comes back up to our bed and he and I snuggle while Dave makes us breakfast. Sometimes, I must admit, I try to encourage Conor not to snuggle with So Much Love for the twins and me, especially if I or one of the babies has just gotten back to sleep. I feel incredibly guilty, but Conor is still a 5 year old boy and although he's a gentle, loving 5 year old boy, he's still a LOVING 5 year old boy. The command "gentle!!" is used a bit more and probably in a less gentle voice by me than it should be.

So as far as sleep goes, I can't complain. But sometimes I do. Life's been good to me, so faaaaaaaar.

Ahem, yeah, well, still I can't explain why I am still so pooped all the time. They are great twins and I am getting decent sleep. I can count on them sleeping at least until 3. But still, I'm pooped. I'm thinking the double dose of hormones I have from breastfeeding has got to have something to do with it. There's no reason I should feel this tired all the time!

Six Years

Last night, I was reading a book (a grown up book, which at this point in my life is exciting), and the protagonist drank a vodka and cranberry.

"Wow," I thought, "I can have a vodka and cranberry, too. I can have a vodka and cranberry any time I want for the rest of my life. WOW."

There's been a series of these revelations since the twins have been born: I can sell baby equipment, I can drink, I can exercise, I can train for a triathlon (again). It's like a whole new section of my life has opened up again now that we're not trying to get pregnant and won't ever try to again.

At first, I thought it had only been 4 years--that's how long we've been trying to give Conor a sibling or two. But then I realized we started trying to have Conor 6 years ago. So it's been 6 years that every month has a contingency. Every month where I decided whether or not it's worth the risk to buy new clothes---because I might need maternity clothes sooner or later. Six years where I've wondered whether or not it's safe to have a drink.

I don't know if other women experience this when they are trying to get pg. I'm pretty sure men don't quite get the point of dual processing one's life (well, I could train for a triathlon or marathon but I may be 7 months pregnant then).

It's just very nice to be through this journey and to finally be able to be wholly me again. Well, as me as I can be breastfeeding twins.

Lessons Learned

Here's an idea:

When your twins are overly tired, that is not the best time to learn they are frightened of the coffee grinder.

And then, after that? It's probably best not to trim their nails and get too close on one of them.

There are lines one shouldn't cross and then there are chasms.

Good mothers know this. I have to be taught.

Ack

It's 12:00 and even though I got up at 6:30 this morning, this is my first break.

The babies are actually sleeping well through the night, but we're still adapting. Conor still comes to bed, or he wants to still come to bed. But we're afraid he's going to roll over on the babies, who are now sleeping on either side of me. So Conor and Dave head down to the guest bedroom to sleep while the twins and I stay in the new king sized bed. (This does not suck)

The only problem is that the babies love, love, love to snuggle (just like Conor) and their favorite position is with their head facing my armpit. Or in my armpit. It varies. I don't move at night any more. I don't think it's possible to roll over on them because I can't roll at all. I can't move.

In any case, we're moving along. I'm ready to drop these last 10 lbs so I can't start working on the next 10 lbs to lose and then start fantasizing about the final 10 lbs to lose to get back to pre-marriage weight. (HA!) Really, what I fantasize about right now is a big, guilt-free glass of pinot noir and a full night's sleep. In a year, I will definitely have it. I'll probably have it before then (the guilt free part). But in a year, it will be guaranteed. The weight? I don't know about. But I'm definitely working the muffin top look. My butt indeed must be smaller so that I can wear these clothes because I don't remember the rolls last summer.

Fun part of break done. Must go fold clothes and wash dishes before the housekeeper gets here!

Snippets

I can barely put a sentence together, much less a paragraph or a whole post. But that doesn't mean I'm not thinking of things I want to share here. I may have to do snippet posts for a while. You know, a while being that length of time when I can pee whenever I like and not when I have to sneak it into a free moment in my day.

On Sunday during breakfast, Conor said "Patches!! Stop licking me!! I'm not a lollipop for dogs!!" Dave and I were overly impressed with our son's creativity. A dog lollipop. That totally fits with Patches' behavior lately.

Speaking of Patches, he continues to pass judgment on us as parents and the twins as puppies. Lately, he's been indicating that one of the twins' crying is excessive and perhaps that puppy is defective. At times, I agree.

I never thought I'd be the type of person who would want to dress her twins alike, but I totally do! The problem is finding matching clothes for boys and girls, especially when one is tiny and one is ginormous.

And surprisingly, I can already fit back into my prepregnancy clothes. I know my belly is much bigger now than it was last year. It's still distended from the twins. Dave suggested that perhaps my butt was not as big this year. Ummm, thanks?

We're in cry-o-rama here at the mother thing household. It's not nearly as much fun as it sounds. The only thing is that I know from this being our second time around that it's not going to last forever. I really, really, really hope it's not going to last forever and I'll be able to get out of the house and start living again.