Cheap A$$

I am thoroughly enjoying my prednisone insomnia, so I thought I'd catch up on my blog. Although I could expound on how quickly the glamour of sticking myself in the belly with heparin has completely gone away, I'd rather talk about our New Tricks Around the House to Save Stuff.

First, let us ponder floss. Yes, floss. That rare commodity that people use to clean their teeth. (I'm reeking in sarcasm. Can you tell? It's that insomnia thing) We have floss coming out our respective ying yangs around here. Dave and I go to the same dentist and after every visit, our goody bag contains a carton of floss among other treats. We are not as good of flossers as we should be. So, I can honestly tell you that we have 5 full cartons of floss around our house.

And then my darling husband went to Target and bought a jumbo size carton of mint flavored floss. He could not understand why I flipped out over a new JUMBO size carton of mint when it was a mere $.75. But then I pointed out the 5 other cartons. He claimed (!) that he did not know they were there, and ok, I believe him because in a bathroom cleaning frenzy a few weeks ago, I did put them in their new Special Place (in a basket with our zillion free toothbrushes from said dentists and the boatload of travel sized toothpaste we have, too). However, the point here is not that I'm a nut or I freak out over spending $.75 we didn't need to. No, the issue is 6 cartons of freakin' floss!!!!!

So, I've taken to flossing every single time I brush my teeth. First thing in the morning? Brush and floss. After breakfast? Brush and floss. Mouth needing a pick-me-up in the afternoon? Brush and floss. (That one is not so common) Time to go to bed? Brush and floss! My teeth are CLEAN! The dentist is going to love me!!!

But let us be clear, I'm not flossing because that's the healthy thing to do. I'm flossing because we have too much freakin' floss around here. I cannot stand to have things sitting around that we are not using. (Please see entry on husband's 59 t-shirts for more information)

Now, let's discuss water. For those of you who still doubt global warming, I thunk you on the head. For the rest of you, including those of you who might be wondering if this is only the tip of the iceberg (using a poorly chosen metaphor), there may be concern that this is just the first summer in hell in a series of summers in hell coming up. Thus, water is going to be a real issue.

Now, saving water is not exactly being cheap. Water is, relatively speaking, inexpensive. But we've gone to some pretty serious extremes around here that 1) make me feel holier-than-thou, but 2) only until we can convince others to use our tricks. We now have a bucket in our shower so that when we turn on the water and wait for it to heat up, we can save a several quarts of water. We are now washing our vegetables over a big bowl in the sink, saving the water to use outside on our starving landscaping and inside on our shrivelled houseplants.

You would be stunned to find out how much water you can save doing just those two tricks. And apparently, if you use Ivory dish soap, you can pour your dishwater outside to water your plants. And acid loving plants like hydrangeas and azaleas can handle and even thrive off cold coffee.

I know it sounds nutty and it is quite honestly a pain in the butt. (Belly? A pain in the belly? BTW, I have a huge bruise already. And I accidentally jabbed my finger tonight and have a disgusting bruise on my bird flipping finger. It could come in handy right now, though, to be honest.) OK! Back to the water. Folks, I feel like our conserving water right now is similar to saving money when you're not in a budget crisis. I always end up in a budget crisis and wish I had saved more money when I had more money. That's what I feel like now with water.

Because if this weather pattern keeps up for 10 more years, or even just 5 more years, we are all screwed.

So go put a bucket in your tub and save some water and a thirsty plant. Then go floss your teeth. You'll make more room in your linen closet.