Birdhouse In Your Soul

We got our Christmas tree and decorated it over the weekend. I am taking it as a very good omen that there is a bird's nest in it. At the very least, it's much better than finding a bat in one's Christmas tree. Unlike spotting a bat in a tree, Dave saw it and knew immediately that we had to have this one.

Our bird's nest is tiny and very well made. It's up against the trunk of the tree and it has a neatly woven pattern. We put a tiny white ornament in it and it looks like an egg there.

The vast majority of time, I believe that unusual events are just random. Thinking about someone and the phone rings? You aren't psychic, it was just a chance event. How many times of you thought about the person and they didn't call?

Nonetheless, I've decided that this bird nest is indeed a good sign. We may not get pregnant this month, but good things are going to happen to us in the next year. We may get lucky and have another biological child. We may get lucky and adopt our next child. Whatever happens, it's going to turn out the way it's supposed to turn out and we'll think of ourselves as the luckiest family on this earth.

It would make the perfect narrative if I got pregnant this month and had a healthy little baby in 9 more months. We'd already have the nickname (Birdie!) and have a great story to share (We KNEW when we saw that bird's nest in the Christmas tree that you were going to be showing up soon!!) But I don't believe in that sort of specific luck. I'll take that this is a sign that things are going to work out, but I can't believe it means that things are going to work out Right Now.

And speaking of adoption, I keep waiting for the right time to talk about what we are doing in terms of progressing down the adoption path, but really all it has involved so far is buying a few books and crying every time I read them thinking 1) I'll never be pregnant again and 2) my child may already be out there and I am not holding him/her in my arms RIGHT NOW protecting him/her from the whatever bad things the world might try to put upon him/her. In all honesty, every month I find out I'm not pregnant again, I wonder if the biological mother of my to-be adopted child has just found out she's pregnant and doesn't know what to do. I want to tell her that it's going to be OK and I'm waiting to take my baby as soon as I possibly can.

All that emotion and I'm not even on progesterone right now.

So, yes. We have a bird's nest. It's a good sign. And it is all going to be ok.